The End
I had to give it one last shot, so I threw a Hail Mary. She loved my email so much that she said she read it 7 times (and even shared it with her mom), but she has moved on. It is by far the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I'm living through another heartbreak, but this time I actually got to experience feelings of mutual affection before she put the dagger in my heart. I shared with her the best memories of my life to date, and now I have to forget about them. It's a cruel terrible world out there.
Dear Kristen,
Please don't read this email if you are at school, on your way to school, or doing any school related work. My feelings come secondary to the more important things in your life (so come back when you have some free time). In fact, I wasn't even planning on writing you until this morning. But I haven't been able to sleep the past few nights, and I barely have an appetite. Both bad things because I am doing a 5 mile run on Thanksgiving morning. So I am writing you as a form of therapy (and in an effort to improve my time in the Turkey Trot this week). I've tried talking to everybody else; my sisters, my sisters friends, my mom, my coworkers. But I feel like you’re the only person that can understand how I feel. So without further ado.
When I wrote you that letter for your birthday I was feeling great about things. I really did feel like I had moved on. So what if you had a boyfriend? I live in Austin! I was focused on getting into the best shape of my life, studying for the GRE, and having interesting conversations with pretty girls on Rainey St. I mean, what else could I ask for? I felt even better after talking with you on the phone. Just hearing your voice made me smile, and you sounded so happy! But I suppose I was just fooling myself, because when you told me last week that you are going to Brownsville for Thanksgiving, I felt my heart break all over again. Clearly this new relationship is real. And clearly is it serious.
The hardest thing for me to digest is how quickly you moved on. We shared so many great experiences together. From Blues on the Green, to Luckenbach, Hamilton Pool and Port Aransas. With each new adventure, I felt like our relationship was growing stronger. Yes, maybe I was a little slow to want to go all in (I am a risk averse person!), but your absence overseas really cemented the feelings I had for you (I missed you like crazy!). And the final days we spent together in Port Aransas were positively fabulous. At that moment, my feelings for you were peaking. I was so happy. We had something unique, a physical and intellectual chemistry. I would go anywhere and do anything with you! No way did I ever suspect that within days it would be over. And that within a couple of months you would be in another serious relationship. What did I miss along the way? What could I have done differently? What happened in those few days you were back in Waco? All questions that run through my mind at night.
I do want you to know that I have no feelings of anger towards you. In my weak moments I am mad, but just at God. How could He bring such a bright, beautiful person into my life, and then steal her away from me in such a fashion? I may never understand. But that is not on you. For you I still have nothing but positive emotions; admiration, affection, gratitude, and inspiration. If you have gotten this far, thank you for listening. Honestly, I just needed to share my feelings. It is part of the healing process I go through, and I hope you can understand that. I may be a Marine, but I’m also kind of a softie!
I saw this quote the other day and it provided a nice reprieve from my heartache, “At the end of the day, I’m at peace because my intentions are good and my heart is pure”.
Sincerely,
Joel D Marsh
Dear Kristen,
Please don't read this email if you are at school, on your way to school, or doing any school related work. My feelings come secondary to the more important things in your life (so come back when you have some free time). In fact, I wasn't even planning on writing you until this morning. But I haven't been able to sleep the past few nights, and I barely have an appetite. Both bad things because I am doing a 5 mile run on Thanksgiving morning. So I am writing you as a form of therapy (and in an effort to improve my time in the Turkey Trot this week). I've tried talking to everybody else; my sisters, my sisters friends, my mom, my coworkers. But I feel like you’re the only person that can understand how I feel. So without further ado.
When I wrote you that letter for your birthday I was feeling great about things. I really did feel like I had moved on. So what if you had a boyfriend? I live in Austin! I was focused on getting into the best shape of my life, studying for the GRE, and having interesting conversations with pretty girls on Rainey St. I mean, what else could I ask for? I felt even better after talking with you on the phone. Just hearing your voice made me smile, and you sounded so happy! But I suppose I was just fooling myself, because when you told me last week that you are going to Brownsville for Thanksgiving, I felt my heart break all over again. Clearly this new relationship is real. And clearly is it serious.
The hardest thing for me to digest is how quickly you moved on. We shared so many great experiences together. From Blues on the Green, to Luckenbach, Hamilton Pool and Port Aransas. With each new adventure, I felt like our relationship was growing stronger. Yes, maybe I was a little slow to want to go all in (I am a risk averse person!), but your absence overseas really cemented the feelings I had for you (I missed you like crazy!). And the final days we spent together in Port Aransas were positively fabulous. At that moment, my feelings for you were peaking. I was so happy. We had something unique, a physical and intellectual chemistry. I would go anywhere and do anything with you! No way did I ever suspect that within days it would be over. And that within a couple of months you would be in another serious relationship. What did I miss along the way? What could I have done differently? What happened in those few days you were back in Waco? All questions that run through my mind at night.
I do want you to know that I have no feelings of anger towards you. In my weak moments I am mad, but just at God. How could He bring such a bright, beautiful person into my life, and then steal her away from me in such a fashion? I may never understand. But that is not on you. For you I still have nothing but positive emotions; admiration, affection, gratitude, and inspiration. If you have gotten this far, thank you for listening. Honestly, I just needed to share my feelings. It is part of the healing process I go through, and I hope you can understand that. I may be a Marine, but I’m also kind of a softie!
I saw this quote the other day and it provided a nice reprieve from my heartache, “At the end of the day, I’m at peace because my intentions are good and my heart is pure”.
Sincerely,
Joel D Marsh