love life
I know, I've always said I love life. I mean as I get older, it has become a manifestation of my self worth. I need to just be happy and when I'm happy I know I can conquor anything (yes, i know the flowers are blooming and the nice wittle ponies are fucking in pasture so sue me and I completely overlooked the demon that's about to eat everything in sight). Is is really that wrong? I mean I know that sometimes I act immature and crazy but it makes you smile doesn't it...so its worth it right! ARGH....i'm not really frustrated more like puzzled, I guess that's what happens when you sort of have a language as a barrier. I mean yes, I know the world is a cold cruel world and I was reminded of this yesterday thank you very much. But when I say I love life, it means I'm just happy to be alive. I'm happy to be able to live, even if I am in one of the most depressing economic places in the world. People still are able to get on with their daily lives and move on. There's nothing wrong with getting excited about your work, the fact that you're not jumping up and down is a complete crime. You are in the mists of your dream that could be riped away from you in an instant because of a speeding car or a crazy ass gang member. Damn straight, I'm determined to die happy...I know what feeling miserable and alone is like. At times I can't help myself but waking up crying and only to realize I have no idea what I am crying for.
I've been doing that too often lately....sighs.....
Anyway, yesterday, I really wanted to kill my dad cause he was able to turn the entire family hysterical cause he doesn't want to spend HIS money. Oh no he's perfectly fine with my MOTHER'S money but if that's the case then where the hell does his go? Sigh...I swear, sometimes, I really just wanna strangle this man, the cats have more common sense over him...but then again he's not as bad as my aunt...next time I see her....someone call the cops cause I really will kill that side of the family (eyes flashing crazy red)....she won't even drive up to see her mother for the holidays....who everyone is just waiting for the day to pass on....I know its a horrible situation and I wish every single day that it could go away. Just POOF! BE GONE! like when we were in fifth grade....yeah, i wish alot of adult problems would go POOF begone. Espeically some of the stupid things that come out of my mouth. At times I just want to curl up under a rock and die from the embrassment of being alive. I know I'm being immature again....like I said so sue me...but I swear if I ever hear anything more about money problems or the fact that my sister is already stressed out more than she needs to be because of it.....I don't know what I'm going to do.....damn it I really need to just get on the tredmill and run until I can't walk for a couple of days....i always feel alot better after that.
P.S. I luv Chereoke she's so funny ^.^...when's she's not coming home at 2 in the morning but we live. Its ok I'm ok, I just needed to rant.
I've been doing that too often lately....sighs.....
Anyway, yesterday, I really wanted to kill my dad cause he was able to turn the entire family hysterical cause he doesn't want to spend HIS money. Oh no he's perfectly fine with my MOTHER'S money but if that's the case then where the hell does his go? Sigh...I swear, sometimes, I really just wanna strangle this man, the cats have more common sense over him...but then again he's not as bad as my aunt...next time I see her....someone call the cops cause I really will kill that side of the family (eyes flashing crazy red)....she won't even drive up to see her mother for the holidays....who everyone is just waiting for the day to pass on....I know its a horrible situation and I wish every single day that it could go away. Just POOF! BE GONE! like when we were in fifth grade....yeah, i wish alot of adult problems would go POOF begone. Espeically some of the stupid things that come out of my mouth. At times I just want to curl up under a rock and die from the embrassment of being alive. I know I'm being immature again....like I said so sue me...but I swear if I ever hear anything more about money problems or the fact that my sister is already stressed out more than she needs to be because of it.....I don't know what I'm going to do.....damn it I really need to just get on the tredmill and run until I can't walk for a couple of days....i always feel alot better after that.
P.S. I luv Chereoke she's so funny ^.^...when's she's not coming home at 2 in the morning but we live. Its ok I'm ok, I just needed to rant.