People things are what I suck at.
You ever do something that made perfect sense at 1 in the morning that actually was really stupid? Oh, yeah. That'd be me. Totally. Does that make me human or just a total bitch?
I fail at people things. Trying to talk to people, trying to just be me always ends in tears. Always. It isn't just that I'm stupidly defensive about my writing or that I put the wrong thing in the wrong spot on a comm I really wasn't trying to piss off. It isn't just that I am seriously considering just deleting my whole journal and going into hiding. It isn't even just that I can't seem to get anything done writing wise. It is my whole life.
I've never gotten social situations right. From relating to books better than my classmates to not grasping why someone caps locks over missing the lj cut closing code. I don't get it. Sometimes I feel like McKay, totally lost in a sea of people that don't see me (I'm not saying I'm smart like him cause we all know I'm not).
I have a tiny handful of people that put up with me getting everything wrong and I don't tell them enough how much I love them. I wish I could just get it right. Since I can't seem to, I'll just have to muddle through and apologize to everyone whose's toe I step on when I don't even mean to.
Which today is, well, everyone. I'm starting to think I deserve the messages I've been getting. I know they aren't right, telling me to die and all, but I understand why they think I should.
I fail at people things. Trying to talk to people, trying to just be me always ends in tears. Always. It isn't just that I'm stupidly defensive about my writing or that I put the wrong thing in the wrong spot on a comm I really wasn't trying to piss off. It isn't just that I am seriously considering just deleting my whole journal and going into hiding. It isn't even just that I can't seem to get anything done writing wise. It is my whole life.
I've never gotten social situations right. From relating to books better than my classmates to not grasping why someone caps locks over missing the lj cut closing code. I don't get it. Sometimes I feel like McKay, totally lost in a sea of people that don't see me (I'm not saying I'm smart like him cause we all know I'm not).
I have a tiny handful of people that put up with me getting everything wrong and I don't tell them enough how much I love them. I wish I could just get it right. Since I can't seem to, I'll just have to muddle through and apologize to everyone whose's toe I step on when I don't even mean to.
Which today is, well, everyone. I'm starting to think I deserve the messages I've been getting. I know they aren't right, telling me to die and all, but I understand why they think I should.