you're just a lying little bitch
lightheadedness...sometimes you're my friend and sometimes you're my enemy.
today you are both.
i don't know what it is about you that keeps me sane
maybe it's your randomness
today is a mixture of days and a mixture of emotions
i decided to check all my old accounts. xanga is the only one i could not seem to revive. oh well. and i've decided that i'm going to try to keep up with this thinking that maybe it will suffice better than a handwritten journal..but i know that's a lie. i won't keep it going.
hell maybe i'll surprise myself
i also know that i'm sure most of these posts will be what our generation calls "emo" but that's just because i have to let it out somewhere.
i'm so sick of superficial things and their meanings and consequences. i'm so sick of being out of control of my emotions. but the thing is...if i'm not honest with them and let them out when i'm feeling them...then i bottle them up and get shit for it. so it's a lose either way.
i'm waiting for your phone call.
i'm tired of not understanding my body and not getting answers. i know this summer i could try again. but that fear that bellows inside of me creeps out every time i think of committing to the search. i'd rather burrow and never know. some days at least.
i'm waiting for that day that you'll understand me.
i guess i just can't explain right. whenever i do it either comes out mushy and i just cover it up with an apology or it comes out completely wrong. i know what i mean in my head...so get in there or at least try.
this is really pointless rambling...but honestly...so are the thoughts that go on in my head. their all mixed up like flash bulbs of different things and i'm sorry that i can't explain them to you when you ask. but i can't decipher or even remember half of them because they happen so fast.
what have we come to?
and what have we made of this?
it's all a mess
of wet faces lies confusion and wanted bliss
someday i know i'll see
i'll brace myself inside the sun
and wait for the warmth to fill
and whatever has been done will be undone
but until then
that moment of scarcity
were all we know
becomes a rarity
that idea of bliss
for which i will wait
with a quivering mouth
and open fists
today is just a day of meaningless emotions because you said it yourself you conniving bitch...i guess i'm just too emotional.
but too much is better than none in a stonewall world
were you are never yourself unlike me
and you never will be
today you are both.
i don't know what it is about you that keeps me sane
maybe it's your randomness
today is a mixture of days and a mixture of emotions
i decided to check all my old accounts. xanga is the only one i could not seem to revive. oh well. and i've decided that i'm going to try to keep up with this thinking that maybe it will suffice better than a handwritten journal..but i know that's a lie. i won't keep it going.
hell maybe i'll surprise myself
i also know that i'm sure most of these posts will be what our generation calls "emo" but that's just because i have to let it out somewhere.
i'm so sick of superficial things and their meanings and consequences. i'm so sick of being out of control of my emotions. but the thing is...if i'm not honest with them and let them out when i'm feeling them...then i bottle them up and get shit for it. so it's a lose either way.
i'm waiting for your phone call.
i'm tired of not understanding my body and not getting answers. i know this summer i could try again. but that fear that bellows inside of me creeps out every time i think of committing to the search. i'd rather burrow and never know. some days at least.
i'm waiting for that day that you'll understand me.
i guess i just can't explain right. whenever i do it either comes out mushy and i just cover it up with an apology or it comes out completely wrong. i know what i mean in my head...so get in there or at least try.
this is really pointless rambling...but honestly...so are the thoughts that go on in my head. their all mixed up like flash bulbs of different things and i'm sorry that i can't explain them to you when you ask. but i can't decipher or even remember half of them because they happen so fast.
what have we come to?
and what have we made of this?
it's all a mess
of wet faces lies confusion and wanted bliss
someday i know i'll see
i'll brace myself inside the sun
and wait for the warmth to fill
and whatever has been done will be undone
but until then
that moment of scarcity
were all we know
becomes a rarity
that idea of bliss
for which i will wait
with a quivering mouth
and open fists
today is just a day of meaningless emotions because you said it yourself you conniving bitch...i guess i'm just too emotional.
but too much is better than none in a stonewall world
were you are never yourself unlike me
and you never will be