fly me to the moon.....or anywhere away from here

[whitelighttruth]

i want to be lost. lost in the world...to where i don't care and don't have to either. why should i? why can't i be how society wants me to be....a drone. just go on life...living but barely breathing.  i want everything that's unimportant to my sole survival to just dissipate in the back round.  to do one of those fade out techniques that you can just click on and time it when to take everything out.  everything would be so much easier...the path would be displayed...it's not like i didn't already know it...i feel like everything is planned out.  whether i want it to be or not; it is.  what can i do...should i do something drastic to try and prevent my life from following that path...or with every drastic change is it going exactly where it's supposed to.?..

can i change? can you change? can that pedophile next door look the other way as the neighborhood children walk down the street and simply change?

i wonder if i'm always going to be like this.     my triangle needs a fourth side because it feels so incomplete. my circle needs a corner so i don't get dizzy and my line needs a curve so i do.  i'm bored with everything and everything pertaining to everything...

goodbye..i feel like shutting out the world for the night