blah.
yesterday was so, so hard.
the 2-4 wake was extremely hard & i cried so much.
the 7-9 wasn't as bad.
english final was easy.
global regents was even easier.
finished in less than 2 hours =) boo yah.
oh yah & p.s. i made wind ensemble =) so that makes me smile alot lately.
today's wake wasn't really that sad.
tonight will be - it's the last one.
my mom said aloooot of people are gunna come.
it's vm family & friends night - urg i wanna go !
but i need to be with my family & papoo, duhh.
the list goes up in 2 days.
holy effing jesus.
he better have given me 40 million extra points
for showing up & dancing on monday. hah.
i can't believe she hasn't said anything to me yet.
i mean, i sat in front of her during the math final,
wearing my wake clothes,
i came out of the bathroom stall today & saw her,
in my wake clothes again,
i didn't even get "i'm sorry for your loss" or anything like that.
i mean, i know i hate her,
but if god forbid her grandpa passed away,
i'd tell her i was sorry & go to one of the wakes,
just cause i'm a nice person like that.
i just ughh whatever i guess it was expected of her to be like that.
i'm torturing myself lately.
i look at everyone's away messages,
and everyone's so happy & loving life,
and i hate life & am miserable,
and seeing those make me so angry at them all,
but it's my own fault for looking at them ! hah.
i'm an idiot.
hopefully, seeing the list friday will make everything all better.
*crosses fingers and prays*
tomorrow will be the hardest day - the funeral.
i've never been to a funeral before.
oyy. oh well. i have to get through it somehow or another.
i'd really love to know god's plan,
if he even has one as i think he does.
the 2-4 wake was extremely hard & i cried so much.
the 7-9 wasn't as bad.
english final was easy.
global regents was even easier.
finished in less than 2 hours =) boo yah.
oh yah & p.s. i made wind ensemble =) so that makes me smile alot lately.
today's wake wasn't really that sad.
tonight will be - it's the last one.
my mom said aloooot of people are gunna come.
it's vm family & friends night - urg i wanna go !
but i need to be with my family & papoo, duhh.
the list goes up in 2 days.
holy effing jesus.
he better have given me 40 million extra points
for showing up & dancing on monday. hah.
i can't believe she hasn't said anything to me yet.
i mean, i sat in front of her during the math final,
wearing my wake clothes,
i came out of the bathroom stall today & saw her,
in my wake clothes again,
i didn't even get "i'm sorry for your loss" or anything like that.
i mean, i know i hate her,
but if god forbid her grandpa passed away,
i'd tell her i was sorry & go to one of the wakes,
just cause i'm a nice person like that.
i just ughh whatever i guess it was expected of her to be like that.
i'm torturing myself lately.
i look at everyone's away messages,
and everyone's so happy & loving life,
and i hate life & am miserable,
and seeing those make me so angry at them all,
but it's my own fault for looking at them ! hah.
i'm an idiot.
hopefully, seeing the list friday will make everything all better.
*crosses fingers and prays*
tomorrow will be the hardest day - the funeral.
i've never been to a funeral before.
oyy. oh well. i have to get through it somehow or another.
i'd really love to know god's plan,
if he even has one as i think he does.