when i said i planned the greatest bank heist of all time...
so did anybody see that denzel/clive owen bank heist movie preview when they saw king kong? let me back up, umm, hopefully you'll never see that preview because hopefully you'll never go see king kong. because it's ghastly. i respect what he was trying to do with it, i think; but it didn't congeal, to use a cooking (?) term to talk about a film. oh shit man they just had a lesbian civil union in belfast. how crazy is that? how did it not get blown up by the ira? those guys are really slacking these days. what the hell are the cranberries going to sing about now? anyway, so i'm sitting in the bank of america right now using their computers to get on the internet, because my little sister downloaded too much gay porn and, in the process, deep-sixed our home computer. also, she and i had a talk about anal sex while we were eating strawberry cheesecake with our ultra-conservative aunt and uncle for post-pre-christmas-steak-dinner-dessert. i was like, "you had anal sex with your first serious boyfriend, emily?" and she was like "yeah we were high, it wasn't that bad but it wasn't that great." and i was like "jesus you two must have gotten bored with each other fast; oh right and it wasn't that great because you people don't have prostates, do you?" and all the while my aunt was sitting there shaking in rage/confusion. that was a good time i think. we were listening to celine dion's christmas cd and i was thinking about how awesome that christmas cd they were playing in the caledonia was after the mouser show i went to with greg and all the cool freshmen in the world. so right i'm sitting in bank of america and i opened my myspace and for some fucking reason these people didn't turn off their speakers and the 'shout out louds' starting blasting throughout the bank and i think all the koreans here thought the end of the world was coming. i miss athens. i saw the mother of a girl i went to prom with once, who used to be a photographer but now she works at starbucks. the mother i mean. which is where i saw her, at the starbucks. with all her photographs from her last two world-travels all over the wall of the cafe selling for 200 bucks a pop. they were really beautiful but i don't have 200 bucks. she's quite attractive though, i wonder if she'd trade a photograph for some oral sex? because if she's working at starbucks that probably means she's not getting any oral sex from her husband. hmm.