La Dee Deeeeeeee
Don't have a clue where my last entry left off in this lil life of mine but who cares.
Thursday I chilled with Heidi n Anthony till about 7 cuz Dad was sposed ta come between 7 n 7:30. Didn't come till about 8 I think but oh well. We went to MountLake Terrace Albertson's *Saw some COOL KIDS chillin outside.... Hmmmmm who else do I know that hangs out outside of a grocery store? lol* Rented About Schmidt n then went back to his house. The movie sucked n really, the time there wasn't all that exciting. We talked about Ricky a lil bit on the way home, but Dad's real careful about not letting his opinions slip out unless I ask for them. I didn't ask. One thing I noticed while I was with him... Things definitely changed over those 7 months. I mean yea I can tell him ANYTHING now...... but mostly through e-mail. I'm not so good at striking up casual conversation with him anymore. But the main thing is well, when we were sittin there watchin the movie... there was this thing of juice on the table in front of us.... I realized this was not a place I considered home, cuz in my home I would take some juice if i wanted some juice... or I would pop in a movie n control the VCR n everything... but at his house, it just doesn't feel right. I realized I'm more stiff and nervous LOOKING than I should be. I can't imagine how it makes him feel to look over and see me there on his couch sittin all straight n jus starin at the TV... silent cuz I can't think of anything to say to him... and when he asks me a question they usually happen to be things I don't wanna explain.... so he must get the idea that since I'm all nervous about it I must be hiding something... Bottom line? I'm prolly still hurtin him as much now as I was when I wasn't talkin to him. Only now he gets to SEE my ignorance.
Friday. Yesterday. Went over to Heidi's n played Pac-man n ate food n watched a lil TV... Valerie called my cell n said her son was comin to take my bunk beds away... I told her I wan't home n she asked if it was ok if they took em anyway. I said sure. I got home as they were finishing up, her son's pretty cute... *but 21 n besides.... I'd pick Ricky over some 21 year old any day :)* They left n i went in my room, relieved that I had some work space in there. I had come home early from Heidi's so me n mom could go shopping... but she came home like 2 hours late n she had to go somewhere like 10 minutes after she got home. She came in my room n was like "I'm sorry!!! Here! *she shoves a wad of money into my hand* These are all the tips I made by stayin longer.... You can have it! I'm sorry!!!" I laughed at her n handed her money back n said "Mom... you don't have to pay me for being late!" lol She said we'd go this morning instead, then she left. So last night I decided to jus get it done so I moved everything in my room... there's still tons of boxes everywhere that I gotta move out by tomorrow morning so there's room for my computer in there!!! :) yay!
So today I woke up to kinda a rough start, mom wasn't ready as early as she needed to be, Jim was here... blah blah blah. But we eventually get to Fred Meyers... they didn't have the pants I wanted so we looked around at all the others but I didn't see any I wanted to try on. We then moved towards hair products for mom, n then we got my new *locking* door handle that we're gunna put in tomorrow morning too. We then passed the pet aisle n i was like "OH YEAH!!! we should jus get all the kitty stuff now while we're here.. since we're gettin the cat in like 2 days...!" So we picked up all the stuff we need n she made me carry it all cuz I was too lazy to go get a cart n she kept playin around bitchin that she shouldn't hafta buy stuff for somethin we don't even have yet lol. But yea.... I found this really pretty thing to put in front of my closet so I'm really happy about that... Made our way through the store... I grabbed some socks n then we saw the the bras were on sale so I got 3 new really cute bras... mom picked out a watch.. er.... she made ME pick out a watch FOR her lol. Aaaand yea I gave her my gift card thing which had 25 bucks on it but with the 25 taken off it was still 158.86... so i had to sit through hearin about that the whole way home but it was funny.
Jus got home a lil bit ago n Heidi called after she got home from riding.. I put up that thing in front of my closet n it looks awesome hehe yay. I'm so excited!!! Anyway Heidi's comin over in a while but she might be dragged off to some company party thing first. Hmm I'm hungry I should eat some lunch. LOL. Oh yea n last night when I was layin in bed *since that's never the time u actually go to SLEEP.... noooo noo of course not* I was flippin through my notebook n found some poem I tried to start.. I added a lil bit to it but then realized it was a shitty ass poem so instead... I turned it into a song! My room's like empty now so it's all echo-y so it sounded hella tight when I was recording it. I haven't written a song in a loooong time. Aw man, I'm in such a good mood if ya can't tell haha.
I think I'm off to go make some lunch n wait to see when Heidi's gunna come over... prolly be singin my song the whole time haha.
Ricky.... if you're readin this.. you best be callin me SOON ya hear? I mean it! :) Luv ya!