" 'Color me impressed' -JD in Heathers"
heres the deal: I absolutly refuse to be depressed and or sad in any way simply because I'm reading entry after entry and everyone thinks their life is horrible and blah blah blah. Whatever. I refuse to join the club. Being depressed got old real fast.
So instead I'm going to try something new. See this friend was telling me about a movie he saw, i believe its called "what the bleep do we know" and something about water molecules etc... anyway I won't describe it cause i hvn't seen the doc. yet and that would be lame. But the point was that maybe you really do have some control in your life and maybe if just once I TRIED to believe that everything would work out the it would.
So heres whats going to happen:
1. I am going to get this promotion because I deserve it
2. I am going to make a well thought out plan about my college education, whether it involves discontinueing
the thing or finding a better way of going about it.
3. If Jay and I are meant to be, we will be. If not then at least I know he saw me for who I was and didn't reject
me for who I try to be
4. Eventually i guess i'll colean my room, get rid of things and all that shit (by the way this list is not in
order of priority cause then jay would be at the top and this would be like #50)
5. Someday I will get married, or I won't, either way I'll be with someone and I'll be happy
6. Someday I'll have kids, or I won't and I won't regret whatever decision I make
7. I will find a way to balance my life, family, friends, work, school
8. Someday I won't care about other people disapointment in me, I will do things because thats how I choose to do
them and i will live the way i choose to live - this should be number one but even with optimism i can be
realistic and say this will take a lot of time to accomplish
9. Above all else I won't fall down, I won't let it get to me, but I won't wall myself off
I'm sick of hearing how everything goes wrong and how nothing can be fixed. ... if you want something done, you do it yourself. I'm going to try. Things WILL work out because I say so.
P.S. I watched the manchurian candidate, he warned me about the ending because he doesn't like it but I thought it was pretty good. In fact I liked it a lot. 2 down one to go
So instead I'm going to try something new. See this friend was telling me about a movie he saw, i believe its called "what the bleep do we know" and something about water molecules etc... anyway I won't describe it cause i hvn't seen the doc. yet and that would be lame. But the point was that maybe you really do have some control in your life and maybe if just once I TRIED to believe that everything would work out the it would.
So heres whats going to happen:
1. I am going to get this promotion because I deserve it
2. I am going to make a well thought out plan about my college education, whether it involves discontinueing
the thing or finding a better way of going about it.
3. If Jay and I are meant to be, we will be. If not then at least I know he saw me for who I was and didn't reject
me for who I try to be
4. Eventually i guess i'll colean my room, get rid of things and all that shit (by the way this list is not in
order of priority cause then jay would be at the top and this would be like #50)
5. Someday I will get married, or I won't, either way I'll be with someone and I'll be happy
6. Someday I'll have kids, or I won't and I won't regret whatever decision I make
7. I will find a way to balance my life, family, friends, work, school
8. Someday I won't care about other people disapointment in me, I will do things because thats how I choose to do
them and i will live the way i choose to live - this should be number one but even with optimism i can be
realistic and say this will take a lot of time to accomplish
9. Above all else I won't fall down, I won't let it get to me, but I won't wall myself off
I'm sick of hearing how everything goes wrong and how nothing can be fixed. ... if you want something done, you do it yourself. I'm going to try. Things WILL work out because I say so.
P.S. I watched the manchurian candidate, he warned me about the ending because he doesn't like it but I thought it was pretty good. In fact I liked it a lot. 2 down one to go