DGM: Catches
Title: Catches
Author: white_arc
Fandom: D Gray Man
Disclaimer: I do not own.
Summary: The captured moments of and between people in their world. A snippet natured fic if you will.
FF Link:
My oldest fic ever!
Catch 1: Death for Company
Cross does not embrace the living. He may touch them occasionally but never more than that.
The people closest to Cross are an animated corpse and a child who does not know he is already dead.
Catch 2: Drinking Buddies
Lavi and Kanda are the only exorcists who are the same age. Lavi and Kanda are more similar and different than anyone would ever know.
Lavi is actually capable of being a much colder person than Kanda is capable of being. Kanda is actually a more genuine person than Lavi is choosing not to be. This brings an odd sort of kinship to the paradox that is both their persons and relationship to each other alone, for they among their peers are the only two that know this.
Lavi and Kanda are the only exorcists who had tasted liquor for the first time together and without words made a habit of going out together to drink away the world outside themselves and each other.
Catch 3: Where It Started
Bookman thought it had started when they reached the Order, where it seemed Junior had became more involved then he was suppose to with others despite what Bookman advised him.
But then he saw the flicker of terror linger for days in his apprentice's eye, despite his best training to hide it when it seemed Bookman may die, and then Bookman realized that it had started with him.
Catch 4: To Protect
Kanda wants to hate many things and honestly thinks he can do without many. He rather wishes he didn't have as much as he did as it only gets in the way in his opinion.
But as Kanda watches closely with keen diligence as the Crow Inspector from Central bandages the beansprouts injured neck maybe a little too tightly in his opinion; he gives a grunt and insult to whoever may receive it in order to relieve the tension.
Kanda wants to hate many things and chooses to not to own much because the more you own the more chance you have of it getting torn away from you in the end. But despite this something in Kanda knows deep down that there are still things he'll foolishly cling to and he'll always be the first to protect what's his.
Catch 5: Siblings
Allen was younger and Lavi felt responsible for him, at first it was for his duty as an observer to the prophesized one, but then after watching the younger one both save and give life to a man who thought he lost it all, the attachment became something more.
In many ways though he feels as though Allen is the older brother he never had, not the other way around. That he is the one who holds his hand when things got too dark and leads the way to where there's genuine light to be found, because Allen could do no wrong in the end, at least not any worst then he could.
Lavi used to think siblings were weird and troublesome to have (especially from watching Komui's and Lenalee's co-dependence on each other). But now when moments of drawing funny pictures on the sleeping white haired boy's face to closely watch over the other when they are sick pass him by he mentally nods and smiles with understanding whenever he encounters two bickering siblings on the road.
Catch 6: Corruption
Junior used to think Lavi was the one who corrupted him. But then one day in a nightmare that turned out to be just a dream he realized that he was in fact the one who corrupted Lavi.
Catch 7: Animal
Klaud Nine feels more comfortable with animals than she does with humans. Sokaro is capable of being as wild and chaotic as he can be still and completely logical in the heat of survival, much like predator always watching its prey. His nature is much more like an animal than that of a how a human should be. That maybe why his presence brings more comfort to her than most would.
Catch 8: Roots of Flowers
There was a time between after losing Komui and before regaining him when Lenalee felt the need to always pull on flowers, always to the point of breaking the roots off completely. Whether they were in the ground or a pot she would tear at least one away never stating why to the younger disapproving nurses.
Then Komui came and the fist thing she did after her reunion was carefully dig out two flowers, roots still attached to the stems, and give one to her brother while keeping one for herself. They both found an old coffee cup and planted the two flowers together in it.
Catch 9: Moment in Time
Fou knows she does not have much time left. It's not her time that's running, but rather the people around her. She is old, much older then one would assume and she's outlived her fair share of friends.
So when a blond youth with vibrant eyes full of excitement and pride is introduced to her she allows a pang of sadness to quickly pass through her from knowing his entire life could be just a moment in hers before chasing it away with her own excitement of knowing that moment will probably the best time she will ever experience.
Catch 10: Tainted Fight
Suman knows he will never begrudge or deny anyone from wanting to condemn him for his selfishness.
Suman also knows he can never fulfill his desire of holding his daughter again. For he is a monster now; too tainted to ever allow himself to touch something as so pure and precious as she is. Despite this, despite knowing he will never again rock his daughter to sleep cradled in his arms or smell the food his wife is cooking in the kitchen, he lives on and doesn't turn back.
He loves his daughter and he has betrayed too many dear to him already. He can not, will not betray the love for her that has kept him alive and breathing this long. For that he will curse his weakness and live as long as he can in this tainted fight he bound himself in.
Catch 11: Pupils are Children
Despite what others think, Tiedoll does not feel happiness whenever he receives a new pupil.
They all become as precious to him as a child is to their parent. For him to take care of them fully knowing they will most likely never out live him does not make him feel proud.
Catch 0: Gloves and Coat
Allen used to not wear gloves. Allen used to not even feel the desire to cover his hair.
Allen used to convince himself that he didn't need any warmth.
He stands outside alone in the falling snowdrops covering him, watching a fire in the distance flicker occasionally through the dense whiteness, inviting and protective against the numbness.
Allen was given a pair of gloves once. Allen was also given a coat too.
They were warm and he wore them with a feeling of near euphoria for as long as he could remember. But Allen lost his gloves and coat and then he thought he'd never have the right to be warm again. He wears gloves again, he doesn't think he deserves it but for sake of the warmth from the first gloves and coat that gave him life, he will walk in unfamiliar gloves to keep warm again.
Eventually he gets a new pair of gloves, and a coat too. They fit him just as well as his first gloves and coat do. This coat will even cover his hair just as his gloves cover his hand.
It's not euphoria, but its pride and resolve now that comes with the gloves and coat. Allen knows he can walk to the fire now. Allen may know deep down the fire is as approachable and full of just as much yearning for his presence as he is of it. But he chooses not to go to it. He still relies firstly on the warmth from his gloves and coat. But still he watches, and acknowledges the whiteness is not so pronounce to him as the fire is to him now.
Catch 12: Broken World
Lenalee's world is populated by puzzle pieces. Each one is different, yet so very special in its own way.
Lenalee with reserve carefulness, gently picks a few of the pieces close around her, and builds them around the one big piece that she has always kept close to her. Slowly she makes a small puzzle from all the small pieces. It makes an incomplete picture, it needs all the other pieces in order to become complete, perhaps perfect; she is perfectly fine with the way it is. In her mind the picture does not always need more to be seen as complete, because to her these pieces are the most special out of them all and no matter what they look like together they will never be anything less in her eyes.
It's a broken little world she's made, isolated from all the rest. But she has never felt she has created or owned anything more beautiful and precious.
That's enough.
Catch 13: Not Glass
Lenalee is not made of glass. Neither is Allen.
Glass can not move, it melts, easily succumbs to pressure and breaks to the point of where its pieces will never recover.
Lenalee has, or at least felt like she has, walked through the fires of hell itself - she did not melt. Lenalee has been bound - she still found herself to be able to walk again. Lenalee has been pressured - but she has not been broken, not to the point of being forever shattered.
Lenalee looks at the face that is not looking at her; a face that is staring only at the crescent moon in the high abyss she once thought could only belong in dreams. The white haired boy, who is also not glass, knows this very well about her. She knows this about him too.
Silently, she takes his left hand in hers. He still does not look at her, but something in him is released and he grips his hand in welcome around hers; she smiles and looks at the same beacon in the darkness that he is. Lenalee knows they can do these things with each, because they both know the other is not glass; they are people. Imperfect and in many ways more ugly when compared to glass, but so much warmer and sturdier to hold, she wouldn't have it any other way.
Allen smiles; the feeling of silent glass breaking that was so deafening before no longer is felt within his bones.
Catch 14: Finest Wine
Cross inwardly sneered when anyone tried to convince him to drink wine that was not of the highest quality, to make it seem like it was not a big deal to drink anything less then the best once in the while. Cross did not agree. He believes that ones life is to be valued much more then that, that one should not settle for giving anything less to themselves.
"…I drink the finest wine everyday, because tomorrow it might go stale…"
Cross does not remember where, when, or even who he heard this from. All he knows is that these simply words have been so deeply carved into his heart that he can not follow any other way of life, nor does he truly want to.
Klaud slides a finger over the opening of a wine bottle, the same brand that Cross had refused to drink earlier. It's unfinished and Cross never did get to drink the wine he wanted as far as she knew. She can't bring herself to finish it, she suddenly feels slightly sick at the thought.
Catch 15: Mother
By all appearances and first impressions, Road is a child. To the point of view of outsiders, the other family members would treat her as one would maybe a daughter or little sister. But really in the end Road is the mother.
A mother is always the first to greet you into the family and one who loves all her children unconditionally. Road has been present for all their births, and she has loved them all completely.
Catch 16: Found
Lavi is more used to being too late. To being a failure at finding others when it mattered most; first Doug and Colette, then Allen; it's always the same.
So when he went chasing off after the girl had not yet return he honestly expected to be greeted with another divine failure on his part to be on time again. So when he embraces the deadly cold, but most importantly alive girl; he trembles and with so much gratitude thanks whatever deity is watching for the miracle in that he was finally able to be on time and find who he was looking for.
It feels like the first time in so long he's chosen to shed so many tears for himself and another.
Catch 17: Ribbons and Pigtails
Lenalee tries to concentrate on what she's supposed to do, but her hair that has not been trimmed in so long keeps clinging to her face and it is bothering her. She tries not to move too much in order to not bother her silent companion, for he is new and she has longed for someone closer in age for a friend; even if he isn't a girl like she, much to embarrassment, first thought he was.
Finally the 10 year old boy sitting in front of her can't take the interruption she is causing and without a word stands up and starts rummaging for something in his drawer. She grimaces, and worries he might ask her to leave but then perks up with interest when he walks behind her and without word begins to work with her long hair. When he is done she is wearing pigtails. "Better?" he asks with a scowl.
She turns her head to side to side and feels the two ribbons he has used to tie around her hair. She has not worn pigtails since the day they took her from Komui and has never since till now worn them again because only her brother could tie her hair up the way she wanted it. It's kind of sloppy and uneven feeling, but for some reason it feels right and with a nod and smile to the boy she tries once again, this time with better concentration to imitate Japanese boy's meditation pose.
Catch 18: Rules are Sweet
Young Link watches with fascination as the older man carefully with a ruler slides off the extra amount of sugar in the measuring cup and pours the desired amount into the mixing bowl.
"There is a reason why we need exactly just one cup of sugar. It is because of this reason why it was made a rule for this recipe. If you do not follow this rule you will end up with a cake that is either not sweet or too sweet. It must be done right with order or all your work will have been meaningless in the end. That is why it is important to follow rules within reason. Do you understand this Howard?"
The boy nods, understanding and liking what this man is telling him, and the man smiles as he finishes the final touches and places his handiwork into the oven to bake. When it is done it is taken out to cool and then afterwards frosted. Two pieces are cut neatly from the cake and both man and boy sit down to enjoy the results of their work.
"Do you enjoy the chocolate cake, Howard?"
The boy looks up, and then remembers to wipe his face before answering. "Yes sir Leverier, it is truly very fine". Truthfully it is the first cake, and dessert he has ever eaten before and he is enchanted by the texture, taste, all of it. He hopes another day will come where he can both eat and make something like this again
"Good, tomorrow I expect you to be prepared for the day at exactly 8 o'clock sharp for your lessons with your teachers. By the way young Howard, have you ever tried vanilla cookies? I've been waiting for a good time to try this new recipe and need some help gathering the ingredients."
Catch 19: Paint
Tiedoll was given a new pupil today. He was impish but clever boy, quick to learn and full of mischievousness. He gets along fine with Marie (then again most do) but he has yet to meet young Yu Chan and Tiedoll wonders slightly if he will have to make extra time to get the two to get along with each other, knowing little Yu Chan's personality.
When young Daisya is introduced to the Japanese boy he cheekily sticks his tongue out in response to the other's suspicious glance. Tiedoll shakes his head as Marie has to place a hand in warning on Yu's shoulder as his shocked gape quickly turns into a growling sneer.
Tiedoll decides he must as usual be creative in how he works. He takes both Dasiya and Yu outside and gives them each a paint brush along with paint and leaves with the order of the two to create something together on the same canvas.
He comes back exactly one hour later and finds both boys with a still empty canvas. The boys are completely covered in paint and are using their brushes as if they were weapons and are attacking each other. He wonders briefly what he should do until he notices the happy smile capturing young Daisya's face and the excited glimmer in Yu's eyes.
Tiedoll sighs with contentment and turns around, planning to give them another hour or so before actual training sessions. It didn't turn out with the exact results he originally sought, but then again with kids it rarely did. At least he got the progress he wanted.
Catch 20: Monster
Too many, Sokaro is a monster. Someone who should not be in the role of a savior, for a savior should not act in such a way that he does. Sokaro won't bother to force others to think differently of him, but he never try to convince him what a monster is. To him a monster is one who falls prey to the abuser and stops fighting forever. A monster is one who does not bare the pain of beatings of his abuser or give them the satisfaction of their screams. A monster succumbs to the taunts and power of the abuser and never finds the power to fight back and destroy everything and everyone who comes after everything sacred to you.
Sokaro knows very well what a monster is, and from the existence of every scar that has ever been brutally engraved into his body, he can honestly live knowing he was never a monster during the birth of any of them.
Catch 21: Apart
Komui loves them all. He would do anything to protect the Order members. From creating havoc to rid their minds of the issues of the deaths and war at hand (well alright it's not always with that intention). Stand up to the men from Central who would and could use them as tools only to throw them away when their use is painfully squeezed out of them. Or even stand apart from them.
Yes, Komui will remind himself every time something he loves and has vowed to protect is destroyed, he can not break out and cry for the fallen, he cannot hug or seek comfort with the other mourners, he cannot allow anyone to know that sometimes he can hardly find the strength to breathe from all the despair he feels every time he feels he has failed them in some way. Because he is the Supervisor, the pillar of strength that never can be moved and will always be able to support others no matter what quakes of terror may rise against them.
For that sole reason he must watch a dear friend die right in front and only offer a humble bow before departing to the next step in duty in helping to preserve them all.
Catch 22: Creampuffs
Krory likes creampuffs he discovers. While they don't give him the battle thrill like akuma blood does, there very fun to suck on and they give him a pleasant feeling; he has never before in his life tasted something sweet before, never back in the castle where he used to live. He's glad he was able to find sweet things in the outside world, it was made even better that the first time he ate one was because it was a gift in celebration from Allen and Lavi, the first two friends he ever made.
Every time he eats one, no matter what the situation, he will always remember the fond memories and feelings of the first creampuff that accompany the taste of everyone since.
Catch 23: World
Allen was not naïve; he was ignorant at times, but not usually stupid. He knew the biting teeth of despair and the feeling of having your whole world destroyed in front of you, not once but twice.
In many ways, it's the others who are naïve, for they have lost all hope in the world and majority of people live in it with them. Be it a single goal, friends, or a sense a duty they all create small worlds of their own. Because they are afraid of the world that they did not create themselves and think if their own little self created world is destroyed, it's over.
But Allen has learned better. He has learned, hesitantly, that even if your own world is destroyed it does not mean the end. Allen has lost his world once and he has survived, he has attained a sense of happiness and desire to walk again. Allen does not live in his own little world anymore; for he has acknowledged the whole world as also being his.
Because of that knowledge he will never stop walking, because there will always be a road in front of him.
Catch 24: Tilted
"He really is just a brat." Is what Lavi remembers having concluded during his first official meeting with the Destroyer of Time. But he also thinks he was an interesting one, he'd give him that. The boy named Allen did kind of remind him of at first Doug in a way with his well mannered and heart full personality. But he seemed like an idiot too, the kind that says they want to save humans (which was a waste to Lavi since all humans die anyway, most of it due to their own stupidity) when they knew nothing at all about anything and ended up either losing themselves (like Doug for example) or just dying for something that never changes.
Allen also was one of the few who seemed to not like him much at first. He finds it amusing that it took several dozen akuma's trying to kill them and him showing the younger boy the harshness that comes with the reality of how other exorcists must live daily to become friends (well it was one-sided from his part at the time).
Catch 25:
Something had stirred within him when had seen Allen react so strongly to the anguished man who had turned out to be an apostle of god rather then agent of darkness. It was strange, much stranger then the time he first saw Lenalee's tears for fallen comrades. He had honestly never seen someone reach out so much to a stranger like that. It made him want to reconsider Allen in a new light, and that made him uncomfortable. He doesn't like knowing he can't understand something like this. Usually when he can't understand something it must mean it's just too stupid to make sense, but right then watching the two, one sobbing while the other nudges away the pain, he couldn't bring himself to feel this was stupid. Even though he couldn't understand what just had happened.
Catch: 26
There's also the fact that he's now seen an akuma's soul. It's something no human before Allen (supposedly) has seen before and it was an historic event that he will commit heavily to memory for the sake of his duties.
At least that was the thought that was suppose to have entered his mind first. Instead he had felt bile rise in his throat from seeing such a pathetic and horrible sight and had wondered how Allen does it all the time without breaking down into a mess; afterwards he had barely noticed for awhile how he had started paying more attention to the Allen's moods and offer his comfort at times when he didn't have to.
Catch: 27
The banter doesn't feel so forced, Allen bites back of course (he was a snippy little one), but there's no wounds. Just a quick flash of teeth to show what he was capable of, but he could tell no matter whom Allen snapped at it wasn't meant to personally do a lot of damage (except when in Black-mode, Allen seems so lost in his own world that Lavi doesn't know how aware he was, he wondered if he could write a essay on it once). Lavi of course being who he was wouldn't have gotten his feelings hurt anyway, he hasn't taken offense to a human's complaints in a long time. But it had been a long time since he felt this much fun with other humans, Allen, Lenalee, and Kro-Chan could be pretty annoying in their own ways (then again so could he, but most of the time it was on purpose) but it was fun being on his first long term mission with them (too bad Yu wasn't there then, it was always fun antagonizing him). He even discovered that he likes art thanks to Allen. Of course it was at the younger boy's expense (pity he couldn't find the permanent marker he was looking for back then).
It's no big deal he's holding onto these insignificant moments, the ones that will never even become ink, is what he remembers telling himself.
Catch: 28
His heart felt very heavy that one day in China. The first time it started to feel slightly down was when he saw Allen's face after Anita had informed them of Cross's likely death. But that had gone away when Allen proclaimed his faith otherwise. The second time was when he tried to go after the akuma holding Allen captive but failed to do so. The third time was when he saw, nothing. No corpse, no goodbye. Just a video and a card; it had felt surreal like he just disappeared rather then died at first; he told Lenalee to move on, it's nothing new, moving on is exactly what a bookman does in life. His mind told him to commit this to memory in the recording of the prophesized one. Something weird in his chest told him he can't move on from this, that it hurts so much that for the first time Gramps can't chase away his confusion with his logic. Nothing comes back; it always leaves and turns its back on you. It's best to do the same.
Catch: 29
He stands corrected. For when he saw the smug Noah again in person he found out for the first time he couldn't turn his back on something that was gone. He has never hated any one person before; sure he didn't have a high opinion of humanity and could get miffed when someone got in the way of something he wanted for himself. But when he saw that cruel smile from the dark man all he could think of was Allen's smile instead and how the world and more importantly himself were torn away from something that was so genuine and good to them.
He knows he's not an irrational person, everything he does he has to think why he would do it and it has to make sense or else what's the point in wasting your precious time. It's stupid to just act out of extreme emotion over something you can't bring back by attacking another. But right then and there Lavi was sure he was never more proud to act more stupid.
Catch 30:
He stands corrected again. Allen seems to like knocking him off balance in all directions by proving he did not turn his back on them by coming back into their lives like that. Course then Allen just had to get sucked into a black hole along with Lenalee as soon as he got back. He thought his hair would start turning grey if that kept up.
Oh well, by that point he thinks a part of him was starting to willingly resign to insanity as before he knew he had been the fist to jump in after them. Somehow he thinks Allen and the others are to blame for that.
He thinks maybe if they all manage to survive he'll personally go out and get some permanent markers for them all.
Catch 31: Brilliance
Bak was a scientist, a brilliant one at that. He could understand mathematics and formulas of any kind with ease and explain it to others in a reasonable enough way for even the most scientific challenged mind could comprehend what he was saying. He was proud of himself and of how his awesome mind could understand and get others to understand his brilliance.
But when he watched a young boy who banished his humanity and took to heart what Bak himself had said without meaning to. Bak never had felt so foolish or regretful of his understanding or what it did to others like he did at that moment with wetness running down face as he felt the self declared weapon march away with determination to fight alone against a despised being that he alone loved.
Bak never used the word weapon concerning people during his explanations ever again.
Catch 32: Tragically Mistaken
Ten year old Kanda stared. It was his first day at the Order and the first person to talk to him after settling down was a little Chinese girl. Normally he'd react somehow, but somewhere his masculinity took a bruise and disabled him from doing nothing more then standing there staring with his mouth slightly open as he stared at the smiling girl who held out her hand. When he did not respond to her she slightly lowered her hand and look liked she was trying not to look too worried.
"Whats wrong miss? Did I say something?"
Finally his natural instincts kicked in and by now he would have slaughtered the 'foe' that had, attacked him (he refused to say wounded) but this was a girl. He had been taught (or rather beaten) better then to kill a girl over an insult. So with gritted teeth and as much control he could muster, he yelled at her.
"I am not a girl!"
It was the girls turn to stand stock still as realization dawned on her.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I saw the long hair and thought…"
Kanda didn't let her finish and replied "its fine" before turning around to hide his growing red from embarrassment face and stomped off to his room. Trying to ignore the chuckling from nearby bystanders who had witnessed the whole exchange, they only grew in volume as he boy tried to but failed to send death glares to anyone who dared mock him in his current state.
A month later a timid knocking was heard at his door before he opened it to reveal the same girl. Before he could question her she stopped him with her watery eyes and almost scared voice asked "Please, can I stay here for a bit, please I need to hide, just until he's gone." Kanda would have said no, but from looking at her desperate appearance that was so different from her content smiling one and knowing she was a fellow comrade made something in him open the door for her and with relief she darted in quickly to the place that would become her sanctuary from her fears many times after.
Kanda waited, even though he knew it was pointless. The man that Lenalee thought of as a nightmare was here, but this time she wouldn't come. She was somewhere he was not allowed to go, tied away to a bed with still bleeding wrists and probably with he same dazed expression of hopelessness the first time he discovered her with before running to get medical help to save her life.
He stepped away from the door and climbed into bed. Holding mugen tightly in his arms he chanted that he was a destroyer, not anyone's savior through out the night until he finally fell asleep.
Catch 33: Too late
It's too late he realizes.
He knows this well as he stares down at his once charge, remembering only the little pathetic boy dressed in blood that his both the boy's own and not from years back in place.
"When Mana…said he loved me, did he mean me? Or…? Which was it…?"
No, Cross realizes then, as he tries to offer the truth he deep down never wanted to tell, and Cross has lied many times in his life, both to others and to himself, he wishes; he doesn't know. Maybe for something different; maybe he had done different, he can never be Mana for Allen and he had and never will try. He never wanted to know or show care for the boy he knew was death in masquerade. But maybe, as he crouches down and pulls the boy into him as if shielding him from the world that had become just the more twisted and sad for the boy, he could have given something. Something he had held back.
He's giving it now as he adds warmth to the cold, but it's too little to late as this new change of warmth is too new to completely melt away hardness in the young boys being right away. To say and make him think much more, yes Allen, no matter what you are precious and worth something, whether the world needs you are not. But it can't be helped; because he has to go now, and must believe that what he has done and left behind will be enough for Allen.
As Cross feels Judgment slip away from his owner ship and his face suddenly naked with out his ever present mask. He decides it's too late for him, but what he has left behind, he hopes won't be too late for Allen.
Catch 34: Duty
Reever, for a lack of better words, could be exasperated to no ends by a certain Supervisor, be it from spending the entire day chasing him down all to have him sign a one simple paper to protecting exorcists and innocent bystanders from the mad man's diabolical inventions. It that and many other duties that apparently he had been volunteered for by his comrades, without his permission no less. Which at his core he had accepted, despite all the grief it gave him, because he was a responsible man and someone had to look after all the lunatics (he after all considered the only normal being in the entire Order - Another responsibility he had to bare).
But there was one duty that was offered to him that he under no circumstance would ever accept.
"If I die, I'm giving Lenalee to you." It had been early in the morning, the rest of the science division were either knocked out from exhaustion or too absorbed and far away in their own work to pay attention. Komui had said that with such simple ness it had taken Reever several moments to even process what he had said and even more to recover from the shock he felt from hearing what he thought he heard. Komui just continued to inspect and work with a broken golem, ignoring everything else as if he had said nothing out of the ordinary.
"What…?" Reever's sleep deprived mind wished Komui wouldn't chose the most tiring nights (then again every night since he got a job here had been tiring) to suddenly over stimulate him like this. It really couldn't be healthy for him.
"I trust you more then anyone, if anyone can take care of Lenalee in my place…it's you, only you."
It took Reever longer then it should to close his gaping mouth before pressing his lips together in a frown and bringing his oiled covered hand up to rub his aching temples.
"You know I can't do that."
"Of course you can, I just gave you my blessing."
"No, that's not what I meant…." Crud, he felt so tired. He hadn't eaten or drunken anything in the last nine hours, they were still behind on fixing both Kanda's and Lavi's innocence equipment, and this topic wasn't making him feel any better. He wasn't feeling to in control of himself and he could only imagine how Komui was feeling as this was the first time in two days he had seen the man standing still after the whole invasion of the crazy Noah and new akuma fiasco. Not to mention Tapps recent death hadn't done much for his or the others moral. And here Komui was talking about his own death as if it was the same as losing just anybody, when it was no where close to that. The whole thing Komui was bringing up now of all times was just unfair; normally he could deal fine, but not now.
"No, no one can have your blessing Komui. If you died Lenalee would find and go where ever it is you'd go without rest and either bring you back or stay with you for all eternity. Bloody crap, I and a full list of people I could name off the bat would probably be following her lead every second of the way and stampeding over anyone who got in the way. So don't leave her in my or anyone else's care, because only you can have this duty. No one else is allowed, and I'll be dammed if I let myself or anyone else tries to take it like the way you suggested."
Reever was too tired to feel embarrassment or anything else he could feel from his outburst of emotion. He didn't even know if he had yelled or talked in the same exasperated tone he always used with the man. All his growing foggier by the minute mind could process was the thoughtful shocked expression on the other man's face as he gave Reever his (not often given in the work place) undivided attention. Well, it didn't matter he felt satisfaction from that. So with a simple nod and a nod numb but smartly returned nod back to him both man continued with their work.
The next day Komui was missing from work. Lenalee had stopped any search for him, claiming he was napping and saying that her Brother had said it had been all Reever's idea to take better watch of his health. With a smile and a light peck on his cheek the girl in a simple tone had given Reever her Komui with her blessing. With a groan he could only nod with obedience and feel as though a leash had been tightened on him.
Lenalee was just too down right scary to deny, and some how he knew he had already resigned himself to being Komui's babysitter/mother hen for all eternity to come.
Catch 35: Performance
Cross puffed out a smoky cloud as he watched his fool of an apprentice puff his face in furious rebellion as his stare did not back down from Cross's (which always both amused and irritated him; no way he'd ever say impressed).
Earlier in a bar before they had been chased out like foxes in a hound hunt, all Cross did was turn around for one second and all hell broke lose. The twelve year old brat had lost his temper and punched a drunk (so hard Cross swore he saw over five bloody broken teeth) square in the jaw for not leaving a young waitress alone (who was an idiot in Cross's mind since a young defenseless thing like that was only asking for trouble when surrounding herself with hyenas like these - but she was pretty, anyway).
Of course his foolish pupil couldn't understand what he had done wrong, angrily claiming the man had deserved it and feeling no remorse for his actions. Cross could only sigh at how Allen had completely missed the point. Well he'll fix that.
"Idiot, you turned a non-violent situation violent all because you couldn't control that lousy mouth of yours. You could have easily manipulated situation into your favor by distracting that simple bastard without having to cause a bar fight off the bat. You only did more harm to yourself in the end."
When Allen opened his mouth to argue again Cross puffed out another cloud out his parched lips, suddenly reminding him that he had left an already paid for wine bottle behind when the bar owner had raised a lead pipe to crash down on anyone (mainly himself and Allen) who dared disturb his work at all. Cross felt his annoyances grow even more from this revelation as he glared down at the now coughing boy; it was time for another valuable lesson to be learned.
Eight hours later Cross had returned to the bar (a different one from before, Cross learned early on to never mess with a bar owner head on yourself) to pick up Allen, who earlier he had ordered to stay put and cause no one any injuries no matter what until he returned, leaving Timcampy as a witness for him. He had also made sure to stir the hornet's nest enough by leaving false evidence of his false location to some of the more the muscle build debt chasers that had been on his tail for a while. When he had walked through the door, to his interest the boy in question, covered in bruises along with torn clothing, was involved in leading a drinking competition, pouring liquor into the empty cups as the now stupefied red faced men looked like they were about either topple over themselves or fight to the death with their competitor. Seemingly completely forgetting why they were even there as Allen had inched himself away from their growing heated argument and to Cross when he finally spotted him from Tim's reaction.
As both men and boy walked off, or limped off in the latter's case to the train station. Cross gave a mental twitch and instead took the boy to nearest doctor for treatment. The kid had done well, not as good as he could have obviously from the injuries, no doubt due to his own temper. But he did fix the situation in the end using Cross's wisdom (Allen would snort at that).
That didn't mean by tomorrow he would get away from buying Cross another wine bottle, a much more expensive brand at that with his own money.
Catch 36: Impressive
Kanda wasn't the strongest, Kanda wasn't the brightest, Kanda wasn't the most pleasant to be around, or even the scariest. Overall to many he wouldn't be the most impressive person you'd meet.
But when Kanda had met his eye with such a intense look of knowing, that no one had ever given him before in all his years as an observer and flat out breathed of saying there was no tricking him to letting down his guard. That you had to earn and keep earning his trust and respect - if even that was fully possible - with much more then just a simple smile and a laugh.
Kanda definitely was not the most impressive to many, but to sixteen year old Lavi, Yu Chan was definitely the very first human in the Order he saw as impressive.
Catch 37: Terrified
Lenalee was bright, a ray of sunshine, and so cute.
She was the first person at the Order that Lavi had felt terrified of.
He realized this when she had sent a grin dripping with feral aggression at him when he was going to rudely decline another one of the young nurses attempt to bandage him. As the nurse and Lenalee were apparently friends and from his careful deduction Lenalee apparently was promising him a rather more painful experience then he was in if he did anything to upset the young nurse trainee more then he did already.
Despite his sadistic amusement from stirring the hornets nest as much as he did, he learned fairly on that Lenalee was no hornet but the all mother grizzly bear that was capable of crushing and devouring any that stood in her way from protecting her family. The only bear Lavi was comfortable with poking was the panda kind.
Extras
Catch -2: Drinking Buddies Redux
"Yeah Yu…I don't think this is going to work out anymore, you hear me?"
"What do you mean Lavi?"
A quiet, yet slightly exhausted sigh could be heard before Lavi continued. "That, that right there; at first it was funny but now it's just getting old watching you be like this. I'm not too fond of having to drag your unconscious butt all the way to your room every time we go out drinking, and you're very out of character nice attitude you get every time you get drunk pretty much freaks me out. I much prefer the grumpy idiotic comrade who screams bloody murder like a banshee nearly every time I call him Yu Chan". Lavi out of pure driven habit tensed after his confession, ready to bolt when Kanda reached for mugen. But instead, of course none of that happened. Kanda just continued to sway gently back and forth in his chair with a slightly red and far out look on his face; staring straight ahead as if he was looking pass Lavi instead of at him.
"Why thank you for the concern Lavi…but I don't think I understand what you mean, I'm not drunk…are you sure…your…not the one…who's not…fine?"
Lavi winced harder from hearing the overly (for Kanda) nice and polite way of speaking that was directed at him then from watching Kanda's head thud painfully against the table the next moment.
Next night out Lavi, who desperately wanted a break for his poor back from carrying the Japanese home from the last time, steered Kanda (who could strangely remember everything that happened during his drunk mode except for when his attitude did a 180, go figure) toward Jerry for some Soba instead. Kanda suspicious for the change, never the less was not one to pass up anytime to eat his favorite dish and started eating. Lavi was happy, since now he didn't have to whether a drunk Kanda again, and a murderous Yu was usually better then a sweet dazed one (well to those who know him anyway, since really it would feel like the universe had been broken).
Though for old time sake, Lavi spiked Kanda's soba with some of the liquor he had been drinking. That trick had earned him a black eye, because of course if there was any dish that one could sense any foul tampering with, it was precious soba for Kanda.
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Notes* For Catch 14 I do not take credit for that wine quote. Many years ago my sister told me it and it just stuck with cause I thought it was pretty.
Socola is the correct spelling for Sokaro's name, but the latter's is more common and I'm more used to it for now.
For Catch -2 in the novels when Kanda drinks liquor he becomes passive (Well to Lavi, Allen still gets the same treatment, Lol).
Author: white_arc
Fandom: D Gray Man
Disclaimer: I do not own.
Summary: The captured moments of and between people in their world. A snippet natured fic if you will.
FF Link:
My oldest fic ever!
Catch 1: Death for Company
Cross does not embrace the living. He may touch them occasionally but never more than that.
The people closest to Cross are an animated corpse and a child who does not know he is already dead.
Catch 2: Drinking Buddies
Lavi and Kanda are the only exorcists who are the same age. Lavi and Kanda are more similar and different than anyone would ever know.
Lavi is actually capable of being a much colder person than Kanda is capable of being. Kanda is actually a more genuine person than Lavi is choosing not to be. This brings an odd sort of kinship to the paradox that is both their persons and relationship to each other alone, for they among their peers are the only two that know this.
Lavi and Kanda are the only exorcists who had tasted liquor for the first time together and without words made a habit of going out together to drink away the world outside themselves and each other.
Catch 3: Where It Started
Bookman thought it had started when they reached the Order, where it seemed Junior had became more involved then he was suppose to with others despite what Bookman advised him.
But then he saw the flicker of terror linger for days in his apprentice's eye, despite his best training to hide it when it seemed Bookman may die, and then Bookman realized that it had started with him.
Catch 4: To Protect
Kanda wants to hate many things and honestly thinks he can do without many. He rather wishes he didn't have as much as he did as it only gets in the way in his opinion.
But as Kanda watches closely with keen diligence as the Crow Inspector from Central bandages the beansprouts injured neck maybe a little too tightly in his opinion; he gives a grunt and insult to whoever may receive it in order to relieve the tension.
Kanda wants to hate many things and chooses to not to own much because the more you own the more chance you have of it getting torn away from you in the end. But despite this something in Kanda knows deep down that there are still things he'll foolishly cling to and he'll always be the first to protect what's his.
Catch 5: Siblings
Allen was younger and Lavi felt responsible for him, at first it was for his duty as an observer to the prophesized one, but then after watching the younger one both save and give life to a man who thought he lost it all, the attachment became something more.
In many ways though he feels as though Allen is the older brother he never had, not the other way around. That he is the one who holds his hand when things got too dark and leads the way to where there's genuine light to be found, because Allen could do no wrong in the end, at least not any worst then he could.
Lavi used to think siblings were weird and troublesome to have (especially from watching Komui's and Lenalee's co-dependence on each other). But now when moments of drawing funny pictures on the sleeping white haired boy's face to closely watch over the other when they are sick pass him by he mentally nods and smiles with understanding whenever he encounters two bickering siblings on the road.
Catch 6: Corruption
Junior used to think Lavi was the one who corrupted him. But then one day in a nightmare that turned out to be just a dream he realized that he was in fact the one who corrupted Lavi.
Catch 7: Animal
Klaud Nine feels more comfortable with animals than she does with humans. Sokaro is capable of being as wild and chaotic as he can be still and completely logical in the heat of survival, much like predator always watching its prey. His nature is much more like an animal than that of a how a human should be. That maybe why his presence brings more comfort to her than most would.
Catch 8: Roots of Flowers
There was a time between after losing Komui and before regaining him when Lenalee felt the need to always pull on flowers, always to the point of breaking the roots off completely. Whether they were in the ground or a pot she would tear at least one away never stating why to the younger disapproving nurses.
Then Komui came and the fist thing she did after her reunion was carefully dig out two flowers, roots still attached to the stems, and give one to her brother while keeping one for herself. They both found an old coffee cup and planted the two flowers together in it.
Catch 9: Moment in Time
Fou knows she does not have much time left. It's not her time that's running, but rather the people around her. She is old, much older then one would assume and she's outlived her fair share of friends.
So when a blond youth with vibrant eyes full of excitement and pride is introduced to her she allows a pang of sadness to quickly pass through her from knowing his entire life could be just a moment in hers before chasing it away with her own excitement of knowing that moment will probably the best time she will ever experience.
Catch 10: Tainted Fight
Suman knows he will never begrudge or deny anyone from wanting to condemn him for his selfishness.
Suman also knows he can never fulfill his desire of holding his daughter again. For he is a monster now; too tainted to ever allow himself to touch something as so pure and precious as she is. Despite this, despite knowing he will never again rock his daughter to sleep cradled in his arms or smell the food his wife is cooking in the kitchen, he lives on and doesn't turn back.
He loves his daughter and he has betrayed too many dear to him already. He can not, will not betray the love for her that has kept him alive and breathing this long. For that he will curse his weakness and live as long as he can in this tainted fight he bound himself in.
Catch 11: Pupils are Children
Despite what others think, Tiedoll does not feel happiness whenever he receives a new pupil.
They all become as precious to him as a child is to their parent. For him to take care of them fully knowing they will most likely never out live him does not make him feel proud.
Catch 0: Gloves and Coat
Allen used to not wear gloves. Allen used to not even feel the desire to cover his hair.
Allen used to convince himself that he didn't need any warmth.
He stands outside alone in the falling snowdrops covering him, watching a fire in the distance flicker occasionally through the dense whiteness, inviting and protective against the numbness.
Allen was given a pair of gloves once. Allen was also given a coat too.
They were warm and he wore them with a feeling of near euphoria for as long as he could remember. But Allen lost his gloves and coat and then he thought he'd never have the right to be warm again. He wears gloves again, he doesn't think he deserves it but for sake of the warmth from the first gloves and coat that gave him life, he will walk in unfamiliar gloves to keep warm again.
Eventually he gets a new pair of gloves, and a coat too. They fit him just as well as his first gloves and coat do. This coat will even cover his hair just as his gloves cover his hand.
It's not euphoria, but its pride and resolve now that comes with the gloves and coat. Allen knows he can walk to the fire now. Allen may know deep down the fire is as approachable and full of just as much yearning for his presence as he is of it. But he chooses not to go to it. He still relies firstly on the warmth from his gloves and coat. But still he watches, and acknowledges the whiteness is not so pronounce to him as the fire is to him now.
Catch 12: Broken World
Lenalee's world is populated by puzzle pieces. Each one is different, yet so very special in its own way.
Lenalee with reserve carefulness, gently picks a few of the pieces close around her, and builds them around the one big piece that she has always kept close to her. Slowly she makes a small puzzle from all the small pieces. It makes an incomplete picture, it needs all the other pieces in order to become complete, perhaps perfect; she is perfectly fine with the way it is. In her mind the picture does not always need more to be seen as complete, because to her these pieces are the most special out of them all and no matter what they look like together they will never be anything less in her eyes.
It's a broken little world she's made, isolated from all the rest. But she has never felt she has created or owned anything more beautiful and precious.
That's enough.
Catch 13: Not Glass
Lenalee is not made of glass. Neither is Allen.
Glass can not move, it melts, easily succumbs to pressure and breaks to the point of where its pieces will never recover.
Lenalee has, or at least felt like she has, walked through the fires of hell itself - she did not melt. Lenalee has been bound - she still found herself to be able to walk again. Lenalee has been pressured - but she has not been broken, not to the point of being forever shattered.
Lenalee looks at the face that is not looking at her; a face that is staring only at the crescent moon in the high abyss she once thought could only belong in dreams. The white haired boy, who is also not glass, knows this very well about her. She knows this about him too.
Silently, she takes his left hand in hers. He still does not look at her, but something in him is released and he grips his hand in welcome around hers; she smiles and looks at the same beacon in the darkness that he is. Lenalee knows they can do these things with each, because they both know the other is not glass; they are people. Imperfect and in many ways more ugly when compared to glass, but so much warmer and sturdier to hold, she wouldn't have it any other way.
Allen smiles; the feeling of silent glass breaking that was so deafening before no longer is felt within his bones.
Catch 14: Finest Wine
Cross inwardly sneered when anyone tried to convince him to drink wine that was not of the highest quality, to make it seem like it was not a big deal to drink anything less then the best once in the while. Cross did not agree. He believes that ones life is to be valued much more then that, that one should not settle for giving anything less to themselves.
"…I drink the finest wine everyday, because tomorrow it might go stale…"
Cross does not remember where, when, or even who he heard this from. All he knows is that these simply words have been so deeply carved into his heart that he can not follow any other way of life, nor does he truly want to.
Klaud slides a finger over the opening of a wine bottle, the same brand that Cross had refused to drink earlier. It's unfinished and Cross never did get to drink the wine he wanted as far as she knew. She can't bring herself to finish it, she suddenly feels slightly sick at the thought.
Catch 15: Mother
By all appearances and first impressions, Road is a child. To the point of view of outsiders, the other family members would treat her as one would maybe a daughter or little sister. But really in the end Road is the mother.
A mother is always the first to greet you into the family and one who loves all her children unconditionally. Road has been present for all their births, and she has loved them all completely.
Catch 16: Found
Lavi is more used to being too late. To being a failure at finding others when it mattered most; first Doug and Colette, then Allen; it's always the same.
So when he went chasing off after the girl had not yet return he honestly expected to be greeted with another divine failure on his part to be on time again. So when he embraces the deadly cold, but most importantly alive girl; he trembles and with so much gratitude thanks whatever deity is watching for the miracle in that he was finally able to be on time and find who he was looking for.
It feels like the first time in so long he's chosen to shed so many tears for himself and another.
Catch 17: Ribbons and Pigtails
Lenalee tries to concentrate on what she's supposed to do, but her hair that has not been trimmed in so long keeps clinging to her face and it is bothering her. She tries not to move too much in order to not bother her silent companion, for he is new and she has longed for someone closer in age for a friend; even if he isn't a girl like she, much to embarrassment, first thought he was.
Finally the 10 year old boy sitting in front of her can't take the interruption she is causing and without a word stands up and starts rummaging for something in his drawer. She grimaces, and worries he might ask her to leave but then perks up with interest when he walks behind her and without word begins to work with her long hair. When he is done she is wearing pigtails. "Better?" he asks with a scowl.
She turns her head to side to side and feels the two ribbons he has used to tie around her hair. She has not worn pigtails since the day they took her from Komui and has never since till now worn them again because only her brother could tie her hair up the way she wanted it. It's kind of sloppy and uneven feeling, but for some reason it feels right and with a nod and smile to the boy she tries once again, this time with better concentration to imitate Japanese boy's meditation pose.
Catch 18: Rules are Sweet
Young Link watches with fascination as the older man carefully with a ruler slides off the extra amount of sugar in the measuring cup and pours the desired amount into the mixing bowl.
"There is a reason why we need exactly just one cup of sugar. It is because of this reason why it was made a rule for this recipe. If you do not follow this rule you will end up with a cake that is either not sweet or too sweet. It must be done right with order or all your work will have been meaningless in the end. That is why it is important to follow rules within reason. Do you understand this Howard?"
The boy nods, understanding and liking what this man is telling him, and the man smiles as he finishes the final touches and places his handiwork into the oven to bake. When it is done it is taken out to cool and then afterwards frosted. Two pieces are cut neatly from the cake and both man and boy sit down to enjoy the results of their work.
"Do you enjoy the chocolate cake, Howard?"
The boy looks up, and then remembers to wipe his face before answering. "Yes sir Leverier, it is truly very fine". Truthfully it is the first cake, and dessert he has ever eaten before and he is enchanted by the texture, taste, all of it. He hopes another day will come where he can both eat and make something like this again
"Good, tomorrow I expect you to be prepared for the day at exactly 8 o'clock sharp for your lessons with your teachers. By the way young Howard, have you ever tried vanilla cookies? I've been waiting for a good time to try this new recipe and need some help gathering the ingredients."
Catch 19: Paint
Tiedoll was given a new pupil today. He was impish but clever boy, quick to learn and full of mischievousness. He gets along fine with Marie (then again most do) but he has yet to meet young Yu Chan and Tiedoll wonders slightly if he will have to make extra time to get the two to get along with each other, knowing little Yu Chan's personality.
When young Daisya is introduced to the Japanese boy he cheekily sticks his tongue out in response to the other's suspicious glance. Tiedoll shakes his head as Marie has to place a hand in warning on Yu's shoulder as his shocked gape quickly turns into a growling sneer.
Tiedoll decides he must as usual be creative in how he works. He takes both Dasiya and Yu outside and gives them each a paint brush along with paint and leaves with the order of the two to create something together on the same canvas.
He comes back exactly one hour later and finds both boys with a still empty canvas. The boys are completely covered in paint and are using their brushes as if they were weapons and are attacking each other. He wonders briefly what he should do until he notices the happy smile capturing young Daisya's face and the excited glimmer in Yu's eyes.
Tiedoll sighs with contentment and turns around, planning to give them another hour or so before actual training sessions. It didn't turn out with the exact results he originally sought, but then again with kids it rarely did. At least he got the progress he wanted.
Catch 20: Monster
Too many, Sokaro is a monster. Someone who should not be in the role of a savior, for a savior should not act in such a way that he does. Sokaro won't bother to force others to think differently of him, but he never try to convince him what a monster is. To him a monster is one who falls prey to the abuser and stops fighting forever. A monster is one who does not bare the pain of beatings of his abuser or give them the satisfaction of their screams. A monster succumbs to the taunts and power of the abuser and never finds the power to fight back and destroy everything and everyone who comes after everything sacred to you.
Sokaro knows very well what a monster is, and from the existence of every scar that has ever been brutally engraved into his body, he can honestly live knowing he was never a monster during the birth of any of them.
Catch 21: Apart
Komui loves them all. He would do anything to protect the Order members. From creating havoc to rid their minds of the issues of the deaths and war at hand (well alright it's not always with that intention). Stand up to the men from Central who would and could use them as tools only to throw them away when their use is painfully squeezed out of them. Or even stand apart from them.
Yes, Komui will remind himself every time something he loves and has vowed to protect is destroyed, he can not break out and cry for the fallen, he cannot hug or seek comfort with the other mourners, he cannot allow anyone to know that sometimes he can hardly find the strength to breathe from all the despair he feels every time he feels he has failed them in some way. Because he is the Supervisor, the pillar of strength that never can be moved and will always be able to support others no matter what quakes of terror may rise against them.
For that sole reason he must watch a dear friend die right in front and only offer a humble bow before departing to the next step in duty in helping to preserve them all.
Catch 22: Creampuffs
Krory likes creampuffs he discovers. While they don't give him the battle thrill like akuma blood does, there very fun to suck on and they give him a pleasant feeling; he has never before in his life tasted something sweet before, never back in the castle where he used to live. He's glad he was able to find sweet things in the outside world, it was made even better that the first time he ate one was because it was a gift in celebration from Allen and Lavi, the first two friends he ever made.
Every time he eats one, no matter what the situation, he will always remember the fond memories and feelings of the first creampuff that accompany the taste of everyone since.
Catch 23: World
Allen was not naïve; he was ignorant at times, but not usually stupid. He knew the biting teeth of despair and the feeling of having your whole world destroyed in front of you, not once but twice.
In many ways, it's the others who are naïve, for they have lost all hope in the world and majority of people live in it with them. Be it a single goal, friends, or a sense a duty they all create small worlds of their own. Because they are afraid of the world that they did not create themselves and think if their own little self created world is destroyed, it's over.
But Allen has learned better. He has learned, hesitantly, that even if your own world is destroyed it does not mean the end. Allen has lost his world once and he has survived, he has attained a sense of happiness and desire to walk again. Allen does not live in his own little world anymore; for he has acknowledged the whole world as also being his.
Because of that knowledge he will never stop walking, because there will always be a road in front of him.
Catch 24: Tilted
"He really is just a brat." Is what Lavi remembers having concluded during his first official meeting with the Destroyer of Time. But he also thinks he was an interesting one, he'd give him that. The boy named Allen did kind of remind him of at first Doug in a way with his well mannered and heart full personality. But he seemed like an idiot too, the kind that says they want to save humans (which was a waste to Lavi since all humans die anyway, most of it due to their own stupidity) when they knew nothing at all about anything and ended up either losing themselves (like Doug for example) or just dying for something that never changes.
Allen also was one of the few who seemed to not like him much at first. He finds it amusing that it took several dozen akuma's trying to kill them and him showing the younger boy the harshness that comes with the reality of how other exorcists must live daily to become friends (well it was one-sided from his part at the time).
Catch 25:
Something had stirred within him when had seen Allen react so strongly to the anguished man who had turned out to be an apostle of god rather then agent of darkness. It was strange, much stranger then the time he first saw Lenalee's tears for fallen comrades. He had honestly never seen someone reach out so much to a stranger like that. It made him want to reconsider Allen in a new light, and that made him uncomfortable. He doesn't like knowing he can't understand something like this. Usually when he can't understand something it must mean it's just too stupid to make sense, but right then watching the two, one sobbing while the other nudges away the pain, he couldn't bring himself to feel this was stupid. Even though he couldn't understand what just had happened.
Catch: 26
There's also the fact that he's now seen an akuma's soul. It's something no human before Allen (supposedly) has seen before and it was an historic event that he will commit heavily to memory for the sake of his duties.
At least that was the thought that was suppose to have entered his mind first. Instead he had felt bile rise in his throat from seeing such a pathetic and horrible sight and had wondered how Allen does it all the time without breaking down into a mess; afterwards he had barely noticed for awhile how he had started paying more attention to the Allen's moods and offer his comfort at times when he didn't have to.
Catch: 27
The banter doesn't feel so forced, Allen bites back of course (he was a snippy little one), but there's no wounds. Just a quick flash of teeth to show what he was capable of, but he could tell no matter whom Allen snapped at it wasn't meant to personally do a lot of damage (except when in Black-mode, Allen seems so lost in his own world that Lavi doesn't know how aware he was, he wondered if he could write a essay on it once). Lavi of course being who he was wouldn't have gotten his feelings hurt anyway, he hasn't taken offense to a human's complaints in a long time. But it had been a long time since he felt this much fun with other humans, Allen, Lenalee, and Kro-Chan could be pretty annoying in their own ways (then again so could he, but most of the time it was on purpose) but it was fun being on his first long term mission with them (too bad Yu wasn't there then, it was always fun antagonizing him). He even discovered that he likes art thanks to Allen. Of course it was at the younger boy's expense (pity he couldn't find the permanent marker he was looking for back then).
It's no big deal he's holding onto these insignificant moments, the ones that will never even become ink, is what he remembers telling himself.
Catch: 28
His heart felt very heavy that one day in China. The first time it started to feel slightly down was when he saw Allen's face after Anita had informed them of Cross's likely death. But that had gone away when Allen proclaimed his faith otherwise. The second time was when he tried to go after the akuma holding Allen captive but failed to do so. The third time was when he saw, nothing. No corpse, no goodbye. Just a video and a card; it had felt surreal like he just disappeared rather then died at first; he told Lenalee to move on, it's nothing new, moving on is exactly what a bookman does in life. His mind told him to commit this to memory in the recording of the prophesized one. Something weird in his chest told him he can't move on from this, that it hurts so much that for the first time Gramps can't chase away his confusion with his logic. Nothing comes back; it always leaves and turns its back on you. It's best to do the same.
Catch: 29
He stands corrected. For when he saw the smug Noah again in person he found out for the first time he couldn't turn his back on something that was gone. He has never hated any one person before; sure he didn't have a high opinion of humanity and could get miffed when someone got in the way of something he wanted for himself. But when he saw that cruel smile from the dark man all he could think of was Allen's smile instead and how the world and more importantly himself were torn away from something that was so genuine and good to them.
He knows he's not an irrational person, everything he does he has to think why he would do it and it has to make sense or else what's the point in wasting your precious time. It's stupid to just act out of extreme emotion over something you can't bring back by attacking another. But right then and there Lavi was sure he was never more proud to act more stupid.
Catch 30:
He stands corrected again. Allen seems to like knocking him off balance in all directions by proving he did not turn his back on them by coming back into their lives like that. Course then Allen just had to get sucked into a black hole along with Lenalee as soon as he got back. He thought his hair would start turning grey if that kept up.
Oh well, by that point he thinks a part of him was starting to willingly resign to insanity as before he knew he had been the fist to jump in after them. Somehow he thinks Allen and the others are to blame for that.
He thinks maybe if they all manage to survive he'll personally go out and get some permanent markers for them all.
Catch 31: Brilliance
Bak was a scientist, a brilliant one at that. He could understand mathematics and formulas of any kind with ease and explain it to others in a reasonable enough way for even the most scientific challenged mind could comprehend what he was saying. He was proud of himself and of how his awesome mind could understand and get others to understand his brilliance.
But when he watched a young boy who banished his humanity and took to heart what Bak himself had said without meaning to. Bak never had felt so foolish or regretful of his understanding or what it did to others like he did at that moment with wetness running down face as he felt the self declared weapon march away with determination to fight alone against a despised being that he alone loved.
Bak never used the word weapon concerning people during his explanations ever again.
Catch 32: Tragically Mistaken
Ten year old Kanda stared. It was his first day at the Order and the first person to talk to him after settling down was a little Chinese girl. Normally he'd react somehow, but somewhere his masculinity took a bruise and disabled him from doing nothing more then standing there staring with his mouth slightly open as he stared at the smiling girl who held out her hand. When he did not respond to her she slightly lowered her hand and look liked she was trying not to look too worried.
"Whats wrong miss? Did I say something?"
Finally his natural instincts kicked in and by now he would have slaughtered the 'foe' that had, attacked him (he refused to say wounded) but this was a girl. He had been taught (or rather beaten) better then to kill a girl over an insult. So with gritted teeth and as much control he could muster, he yelled at her.
"I am not a girl!"
It was the girls turn to stand stock still as realization dawned on her.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I saw the long hair and thought…"
Kanda didn't let her finish and replied "its fine" before turning around to hide his growing red from embarrassment face and stomped off to his room. Trying to ignore the chuckling from nearby bystanders who had witnessed the whole exchange, they only grew in volume as he boy tried to but failed to send death glares to anyone who dared mock him in his current state.
A month later a timid knocking was heard at his door before he opened it to reveal the same girl. Before he could question her she stopped him with her watery eyes and almost scared voice asked "Please, can I stay here for a bit, please I need to hide, just until he's gone." Kanda would have said no, but from looking at her desperate appearance that was so different from her content smiling one and knowing she was a fellow comrade made something in him open the door for her and with relief she darted in quickly to the place that would become her sanctuary from her fears many times after.
Kanda waited, even though he knew it was pointless. The man that Lenalee thought of as a nightmare was here, but this time she wouldn't come. She was somewhere he was not allowed to go, tied away to a bed with still bleeding wrists and probably with he same dazed expression of hopelessness the first time he discovered her with before running to get medical help to save her life.
He stepped away from the door and climbed into bed. Holding mugen tightly in his arms he chanted that he was a destroyer, not anyone's savior through out the night until he finally fell asleep.
Catch 33: Too late
It's too late he realizes.
He knows this well as he stares down at his once charge, remembering only the little pathetic boy dressed in blood that his both the boy's own and not from years back in place.
"When Mana…said he loved me, did he mean me? Or…? Which was it…?"
No, Cross realizes then, as he tries to offer the truth he deep down never wanted to tell, and Cross has lied many times in his life, both to others and to himself, he wishes; he doesn't know. Maybe for something different; maybe he had done different, he can never be Mana for Allen and he had and never will try. He never wanted to know or show care for the boy he knew was death in masquerade. But maybe, as he crouches down and pulls the boy into him as if shielding him from the world that had become just the more twisted and sad for the boy, he could have given something. Something he had held back.
He's giving it now as he adds warmth to the cold, but it's too little to late as this new change of warmth is too new to completely melt away hardness in the young boys being right away. To say and make him think much more, yes Allen, no matter what you are precious and worth something, whether the world needs you are not. But it can't be helped; because he has to go now, and must believe that what he has done and left behind will be enough for Allen.
As Cross feels Judgment slip away from his owner ship and his face suddenly naked with out his ever present mask. He decides it's too late for him, but what he has left behind, he hopes won't be too late for Allen.
Catch 34: Duty
Reever, for a lack of better words, could be exasperated to no ends by a certain Supervisor, be it from spending the entire day chasing him down all to have him sign a one simple paper to protecting exorcists and innocent bystanders from the mad man's diabolical inventions. It that and many other duties that apparently he had been volunteered for by his comrades, without his permission no less. Which at his core he had accepted, despite all the grief it gave him, because he was a responsible man and someone had to look after all the lunatics (he after all considered the only normal being in the entire Order - Another responsibility he had to bare).
But there was one duty that was offered to him that he under no circumstance would ever accept.
"If I die, I'm giving Lenalee to you." It had been early in the morning, the rest of the science division were either knocked out from exhaustion or too absorbed and far away in their own work to pay attention. Komui had said that with such simple ness it had taken Reever several moments to even process what he had said and even more to recover from the shock he felt from hearing what he thought he heard. Komui just continued to inspect and work with a broken golem, ignoring everything else as if he had said nothing out of the ordinary.
"What…?" Reever's sleep deprived mind wished Komui wouldn't chose the most tiring nights (then again every night since he got a job here had been tiring) to suddenly over stimulate him like this. It really couldn't be healthy for him.
"I trust you more then anyone, if anyone can take care of Lenalee in my place…it's you, only you."
It took Reever longer then it should to close his gaping mouth before pressing his lips together in a frown and bringing his oiled covered hand up to rub his aching temples.
"You know I can't do that."
"Of course you can, I just gave you my blessing."
"No, that's not what I meant…." Crud, he felt so tired. He hadn't eaten or drunken anything in the last nine hours, they were still behind on fixing both Kanda's and Lavi's innocence equipment, and this topic wasn't making him feel any better. He wasn't feeling to in control of himself and he could only imagine how Komui was feeling as this was the first time in two days he had seen the man standing still after the whole invasion of the crazy Noah and new akuma fiasco. Not to mention Tapps recent death hadn't done much for his or the others moral. And here Komui was talking about his own death as if it was the same as losing just anybody, when it was no where close to that. The whole thing Komui was bringing up now of all times was just unfair; normally he could deal fine, but not now.
"No, no one can have your blessing Komui. If you died Lenalee would find and go where ever it is you'd go without rest and either bring you back or stay with you for all eternity. Bloody crap, I and a full list of people I could name off the bat would probably be following her lead every second of the way and stampeding over anyone who got in the way. So don't leave her in my or anyone else's care, because only you can have this duty. No one else is allowed, and I'll be dammed if I let myself or anyone else tries to take it like the way you suggested."
Reever was too tired to feel embarrassment or anything else he could feel from his outburst of emotion. He didn't even know if he had yelled or talked in the same exasperated tone he always used with the man. All his growing foggier by the minute mind could process was the thoughtful shocked expression on the other man's face as he gave Reever his (not often given in the work place) undivided attention. Well, it didn't matter he felt satisfaction from that. So with a simple nod and a nod numb but smartly returned nod back to him both man continued with their work.
The next day Komui was missing from work. Lenalee had stopped any search for him, claiming he was napping and saying that her Brother had said it had been all Reever's idea to take better watch of his health. With a smile and a light peck on his cheek the girl in a simple tone had given Reever her Komui with her blessing. With a groan he could only nod with obedience and feel as though a leash had been tightened on him.
Lenalee was just too down right scary to deny, and some how he knew he had already resigned himself to being Komui's babysitter/mother hen for all eternity to come.
Catch 35: Performance
Cross puffed out a smoky cloud as he watched his fool of an apprentice puff his face in furious rebellion as his stare did not back down from Cross's (which always both amused and irritated him; no way he'd ever say impressed).
Earlier in a bar before they had been chased out like foxes in a hound hunt, all Cross did was turn around for one second and all hell broke lose. The twelve year old brat had lost his temper and punched a drunk (so hard Cross swore he saw over five bloody broken teeth) square in the jaw for not leaving a young waitress alone (who was an idiot in Cross's mind since a young defenseless thing like that was only asking for trouble when surrounding herself with hyenas like these - but she was pretty, anyway).
Of course his foolish pupil couldn't understand what he had done wrong, angrily claiming the man had deserved it and feeling no remorse for his actions. Cross could only sigh at how Allen had completely missed the point. Well he'll fix that.
"Idiot, you turned a non-violent situation violent all because you couldn't control that lousy mouth of yours. You could have easily manipulated situation into your favor by distracting that simple bastard without having to cause a bar fight off the bat. You only did more harm to yourself in the end."
When Allen opened his mouth to argue again Cross puffed out another cloud out his parched lips, suddenly reminding him that he had left an already paid for wine bottle behind when the bar owner had raised a lead pipe to crash down on anyone (mainly himself and Allen) who dared disturb his work at all. Cross felt his annoyances grow even more from this revelation as he glared down at the now coughing boy; it was time for another valuable lesson to be learned.
Eight hours later Cross had returned to the bar (a different one from before, Cross learned early on to never mess with a bar owner head on yourself) to pick up Allen, who earlier he had ordered to stay put and cause no one any injuries no matter what until he returned, leaving Timcampy as a witness for him. He had also made sure to stir the hornet's nest enough by leaving false evidence of his false location to some of the more the muscle build debt chasers that had been on his tail for a while. When he had walked through the door, to his interest the boy in question, covered in bruises along with torn clothing, was involved in leading a drinking competition, pouring liquor into the empty cups as the now stupefied red faced men looked like they were about either topple over themselves or fight to the death with their competitor. Seemingly completely forgetting why they were even there as Allen had inched himself away from their growing heated argument and to Cross when he finally spotted him from Tim's reaction.
As both men and boy walked off, or limped off in the latter's case to the train station. Cross gave a mental twitch and instead took the boy to nearest doctor for treatment. The kid had done well, not as good as he could have obviously from the injuries, no doubt due to his own temper. But he did fix the situation in the end using Cross's wisdom (Allen would snort at that).
That didn't mean by tomorrow he would get away from buying Cross another wine bottle, a much more expensive brand at that with his own money.
Catch 36: Impressive
Kanda wasn't the strongest, Kanda wasn't the brightest, Kanda wasn't the most pleasant to be around, or even the scariest. Overall to many he wouldn't be the most impressive person you'd meet.
But when Kanda had met his eye with such a intense look of knowing, that no one had ever given him before in all his years as an observer and flat out breathed of saying there was no tricking him to letting down his guard. That you had to earn and keep earning his trust and respect - if even that was fully possible - with much more then just a simple smile and a laugh.
Kanda definitely was not the most impressive to many, but to sixteen year old Lavi, Yu Chan was definitely the very first human in the Order he saw as impressive.
Catch 37: Terrified
Lenalee was bright, a ray of sunshine, and so cute.
She was the first person at the Order that Lavi had felt terrified of.
He realized this when she had sent a grin dripping with feral aggression at him when he was going to rudely decline another one of the young nurses attempt to bandage him. As the nurse and Lenalee were apparently friends and from his careful deduction Lenalee apparently was promising him a rather more painful experience then he was in if he did anything to upset the young nurse trainee more then he did already.
Despite his sadistic amusement from stirring the hornets nest as much as he did, he learned fairly on that Lenalee was no hornet but the all mother grizzly bear that was capable of crushing and devouring any that stood in her way from protecting her family. The only bear Lavi was comfortable with poking was the panda kind.
Extras
Catch -2: Drinking Buddies Redux
"Yeah Yu…I don't think this is going to work out anymore, you hear me?"
"What do you mean Lavi?"
A quiet, yet slightly exhausted sigh could be heard before Lavi continued. "That, that right there; at first it was funny but now it's just getting old watching you be like this. I'm not too fond of having to drag your unconscious butt all the way to your room every time we go out drinking, and you're very out of character nice attitude you get every time you get drunk pretty much freaks me out. I much prefer the grumpy idiotic comrade who screams bloody murder like a banshee nearly every time I call him Yu Chan". Lavi out of pure driven habit tensed after his confession, ready to bolt when Kanda reached for mugen. But instead, of course none of that happened. Kanda just continued to sway gently back and forth in his chair with a slightly red and far out look on his face; staring straight ahead as if he was looking pass Lavi instead of at him.
"Why thank you for the concern Lavi…but I don't think I understand what you mean, I'm not drunk…are you sure…your…not the one…who's not…fine?"
Lavi winced harder from hearing the overly (for Kanda) nice and polite way of speaking that was directed at him then from watching Kanda's head thud painfully against the table the next moment.
Next night out Lavi, who desperately wanted a break for his poor back from carrying the Japanese home from the last time, steered Kanda (who could strangely remember everything that happened during his drunk mode except for when his attitude did a 180, go figure) toward Jerry for some Soba instead. Kanda suspicious for the change, never the less was not one to pass up anytime to eat his favorite dish and started eating. Lavi was happy, since now he didn't have to whether a drunk Kanda again, and a murderous Yu was usually better then a sweet dazed one (well to those who know him anyway, since really it would feel like the universe had been broken).
Though for old time sake, Lavi spiked Kanda's soba with some of the liquor he had been drinking. That trick had earned him a black eye, because of course if there was any dish that one could sense any foul tampering with, it was precious soba for Kanda.
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Notes* For Catch 14 I do not take credit for that wine quote. Many years ago my sister told me it and it just stuck with cause I thought it was pretty.
Socola is the correct spelling for Sokaro's name, but the latter's is more common and I'm more used to it for now.
For Catch -2 in the novels when Kanda drinks liquor he becomes passive (Well to Lavi, Allen still gets the same treatment, Lol).