(no subject)
I'm like depressed. I want to move somewhere. Or maybe not. I don't even know what I'm feeling right now, it's super weird for me.
I went home last week, and it was a really nice break. I want those more often and for longer periods of time. I'm alone here, for good. Josh and I are officially done. Like no, off/on thing. I think maybe that's what's fueling my depression, even though I know it's for the best. Even if we haven't really been together for a really long time, he was always there as my blanket. It's a good thing though, it's just a lot harder than I make it seem. Especially when I'm sitting at home alone in my bed with no one to just randomly call. It's okay though, it's a good thing. I guess I keep telling myself that, even though I'm crying right now. I'm trying to go out and hang out with the friends I have here. I have this problem where I agree to hang out and then totally bail because I like being in the comfort of my apt with my baby Mils. I went out a couple times this weekend though, but it just didn't feel like it does when I'm with my friends from home. God, I need to grow up.
I went home last week, and it was a really nice break. I want those more often and for longer periods of time. I'm alone here, for good. Josh and I are officially done. Like no, off/on thing. I think maybe that's what's fueling my depression, even though I know it's for the best. Even if we haven't really been together for a really long time, he was always there as my blanket. It's a good thing though, it's just a lot harder than I make it seem. Especially when I'm sitting at home alone in my bed with no one to just randomly call. It's okay though, it's a good thing. I guess I keep telling myself that, even though I'm crying right now. I'm trying to go out and hang out with the friends I have here. I have this problem where I agree to hang out and then totally bail because I like being in the comfort of my apt with my baby Mils. I went out a couple times this weekend though, but it just didn't feel like it does when I'm with my friends from home. God, I need to grow up.