(no subject)
the new job is going ok. not great but ok. good people but the money is midline at best. i am just use to making so much more money and not having to work nearly as hard for it.
last night i went out with every one from work for a 21 birthday party. i felt old but ended up having a really good time. B makes me feel at ease when she is around. she has a great since of humor and very easy personality. J ended up joining me after some proding. it was good to be in a social situation with him again in adult space at that. there will never be a time in my life that i dont love him. i am also trying to come to terms with the fact that i will also always be drawn to him. i wish there was a way we could have made things work! after so many years of beating each other into submition its just not meant to be. its a sad fact. i find so much comfort in his friendship. i dread and look forward to the day he falls in love again. he deserves to have a woman who rocks his world. i wonder if i will ever stop wishing it was me?
off to clean my condo.
last night i went out with every one from work for a 21 birthday party. i felt old but ended up having a really good time. B makes me feel at ease when she is around. she has a great since of humor and very easy personality. J ended up joining me after some proding. it was good to be in a social situation with him again in adult space at that. there will never be a time in my life that i dont love him. i am also trying to come to terms with the fact that i will also always be drawn to him. i wish there was a way we could have made things work! after so many years of beating each other into submition its just not meant to be. its a sad fact. i find so much comfort in his friendship. i dread and look forward to the day he falls in love again. he deserves to have a woman who rocks his world. i wonder if i will ever stop wishing it was me?
off to clean my condo.