The Incredible Shrinking Closet
I was talking to a work colleague on Thursday of last week. She knew I was going to a party with some friends who were driving down from Sydney for the occasion, and she asked what kind of a party it was.
For a couple of seconds I froze. What to say? Playing this with a dead bat (a cricket term for you non sporty types) wold have been easy enough, but this was someone I trusted, and I felt comfortable with her knowing about my secret life (or at least about the existence of my secret life.) Besides, lying is a lot of work for me.
I know there is always a risk that goes with telling people that you're kinky. There are plenty of people I know and whom I consider to be friends who I wouldn't tell because I'm not sufficiently confident they would understand. I still believe that people are becoming more understanding about kink, but the risk is high if you happen to tell someone who isn't.
Additionally, I know that there are additional risks that come with telling work associates. I'm not doing anything that would compromise my job, and given the work relationship between the two of us I would be safe even if she did find it offensive. (We're in entirely different offices and employed through.) Still, professional problems could result, and I don't want to be known as "the kinky wierdo" around the workplace.
But this is a friend of mine outside of work too, and spinning out a convenient lie would mean I was holding something back from someone I trust. I do that with some people. It's a judgement call. It's a calculated risk.
So having thought all of that in the space of three or four seconds. I prefaced things by saying this wasn't something to be spoken of to anyone else, and simply said that the party I was going to was going to have a lot of kinky people there and that I had some kinky friends. No details about the various sordid things I've done, just a little disclosure.
Apparently she has some kinky friends of her own in Melbourne and is kink friendly.
So far everyone I have told has been fine. Of course, I've not told that many people. I've been quite choosy about who I talk to about kink. One day I may misread someone, but that day hasn't come yet.
For a couple of seconds I froze. What to say? Playing this with a dead bat (a cricket term for you non sporty types) wold have been easy enough, but this was someone I trusted, and I felt comfortable with her knowing about my secret life (or at least about the existence of my secret life.) Besides, lying is a lot of work for me.
I know there is always a risk that goes with telling people that you're kinky. There are plenty of people I know and whom I consider to be friends who I wouldn't tell because I'm not sufficiently confident they would understand. I still believe that people are becoming more understanding about kink, but the risk is high if you happen to tell someone who isn't.
Additionally, I know that there are additional risks that come with telling work associates. I'm not doing anything that would compromise my job, and given the work relationship between the two of us I would be safe even if she did find it offensive. (We're in entirely different offices and employed through.) Still, professional problems could result, and I don't want to be known as "the kinky wierdo" around the workplace.
But this is a friend of mine outside of work too, and spinning out a convenient lie would mean I was holding something back from someone I trust. I do that with some people. It's a judgement call. It's a calculated risk.
So having thought all of that in the space of three or four seconds. I prefaced things by saying this wasn't something to be spoken of to anyone else, and simply said that the party I was going to was going to have a lot of kinky people there and that I had some kinky friends. No details about the various sordid things I've done, just a little disclosure.
Apparently she has some kinky friends of her own in Melbourne and is kink friendly.
So far everyone I have told has been fine. Of course, I've not told that many people. I've been quite choosy about who I talk to about kink. One day I may misread someone, but that day hasn't come yet.