im a fuck up
last night was long, excrutiating long. it seemed it would never end. my eyes hurt because of the tears that were shed. i dont know why i let them fall. i honestly don't know why i let everything bother me so much last night. it was just one of those nights and i had pain building up inside me.
gypsy started it with a comment.
i went out to meet eric with a q and ended up running into a and c.c.b. we all chatted up but something was said that upset me and i left. i came back for some stupid reason and i confronted the problem. apologies were made. the culprit knew they had upset me. we spoke about it and more apologies were made. i snapped at a few people and then i abruptly left.
i began walking back to my car and ran into my "pretend" fiance and he sensed i was pissed. he gave me a hug and i broke. the tears began to fall. he hugged me tight until i needed to go. he told me he was there for me. i went back to the place to find eric so i could talk and walk with him.
he never sensed i was wronged and upset. i waited for him and he did not come out. instead i ran into the culprit. we spoke some more. i wanted them to know everything will be fine and let me just have my bout of pain and hurt. once again more apologies. they asked if they could give me a hug. we did so. it was a tightly held hug that revealed we did and do have a bond. my make-up began to smear. slowly i was held tighter. from nowhere i felt their body the undeniable shake of a sob. they too were crying. we sat there holding one another, oblivious to others around us, crying.
we walked back to thier car and talked some more. in the end i finally understood everything and still understood nothing. it was all okay. i was just letting myself hurt over nothing. i knew this all would happen and i predicted long ago how it would all work out. i did leave the car upset.
...
gypsy started it with a comment.
i went out to meet eric with a q and ended up running into a and c.c.b. we all chatted up but something was said that upset me and i left. i came back for some stupid reason and i confronted the problem. apologies were made. the culprit knew they had upset me. we spoke about it and more apologies were made. i snapped at a few people and then i abruptly left.
i began walking back to my car and ran into my "pretend" fiance and he sensed i was pissed. he gave me a hug and i broke. the tears began to fall. he hugged me tight until i needed to go. he told me he was there for me. i went back to the place to find eric so i could talk and walk with him.
he never sensed i was wronged and upset. i waited for him and he did not come out. instead i ran into the culprit. we spoke some more. i wanted them to know everything will be fine and let me just have my bout of pain and hurt. once again more apologies. they asked if they could give me a hug. we did so. it was a tightly held hug that revealed we did and do have a bond. my make-up began to smear. slowly i was held tighter. from nowhere i felt their body the undeniable shake of a sob. they too were crying. we sat there holding one another, oblivious to others around us, crying.
we walked back to thier car and talked some more. in the end i finally understood everything and still understood nothing. it was all okay. i was just letting myself hurt over nothing. i knew this all would happen and i predicted long ago how it would all work out. i did leave the car upset.
...