10.5 hours until school starts
I've been so moody today. I've gone from being happy and actually feeling good about myself, to being bored, to feeling like no guy could ever truly care about me, to feeling depressed, to feeling hyper, to feeling moved, to feeling the tears in the back of my throat yet again. Those were all my feelings of the day, and now all of the sudden I feel so alone. I just need to remember what Caitlin said to me today on the phone, the most inspiring words I've heard in a long time, and that's that God never gives us more than we can handle. It may seem like everything sucks right now..but soon you'll realize that those things in your life that you thought sucked turned out to just be a stepping stone, making you stronger. Soon you'll see why you had to go through the things you did. If you get your heartbroken, that's God showing you that you aren't meant to be with that person--you're meant for better. If you're ignored, that's so when everything in your life is happy--you'll appreciate it more. I've learned that in my life. But more than anything, as I sit here, I don't want everything to go back to the way it was. I don't want to go back to not feeling good about myself, I don't wanna go back to the feeling that nobody could ever truly love me. I thought I changed this summer for the better, and on the first day of school more than any other day of the year, I don't want to go back into that dark hole that I left school in. I want to be who I was this whole summer.