Running on sleep deprivation
I just got up at like 11 this morning, which was because I couldn’t get to sleep for anything last night. It was so horrible. I went to bed at 12:30, didn’t get to sleep till 1:30, woke up again at 3, didn’t get to sleep till 5. So now I’m tired outta my mind, which hopefully will wear off by the concert tonight. Everything that I don’t think anything of in the daylight is magnified ten times at night. With everything I thought about, I probably could’ve written my life story. The whole house was dead silent, but inside, my mind was screaming. I kept on thinking to myself that no guy could ever truly like me. And the weird thing is, the time where I can feel it deep inside my heart is right after I found out that I have a date to homecoming. But yet I still felt that horrible feeling about myself that I just wish would go away. I’m going with Sean Puscas to our homecoming. He asked me last night when I was telling him about mine and Sieg’s little trying on dresses extravaganza, lol. But it’s just hard because I’ve never had a date to homecoming before. I had a date to prom, but I guess I’ve always thought of homecoming as the friends dance, and prom as the date dance. And so it made me really sad because being with my friends at dances is more fun than anything else. So I made Sean promise that he would hang out with my friends at the dance before I told him yes, lol. Because my friends mean more than anything to me.
It’s weird that I could feel so horrible as I was trying to get to sleep when I had such a good day. Until 4, my day kinda sucked and I was stressed out and depressed. I was stressed out because I wanted Laura’s party to be perfect, all I wanted was for her to be happy. I was sad because Kyle was sad. When any of my friends are sad, I feel horrible too. I probably feel worse when my friends are sad than when I myself is sad. And I just felt horrible that I couldn’t make him feel better. Then at 4 I went to Laura’s party. Margaret, Chris, Sieg, Alex Meyers, and obviously Laura, and I showed up…even though that was only about half of the people I invited but hey. It was really fun though. Margaret bought herself vanilla lotion because it reminds her of the good times we’ve had in religion class getting high offa lotion. So as we were standing in front of Bravo, she puts the lotion up to her nose as accidentally squeezes it, getting it all over her face. I love you Margaret, lmao. We went to American Eagle…and Margaret told Chris he should wear the “I’m a keeper” shirt. That would be amazing, lmao. The guy who worked there wouldn’t let me take a picture of the lovely Laura in the store. What a booger!! LOL. I mean seriously…we were 15, 16, and 17 year olds in high school taking goofy pictures in a store-it’s not like we’re gonna sell their ideas or something. I also saw Jenna Milosch-who I haven’t seen since like freshmen year! That made me smile!!! Then Laura, Chris, Sieg, Margaret, Alex, and I went to Bravo, and for some reason all of us had this fetish with playing with our cell phones at the dinner table, lol. I was calling Caitlin to tell her that Margaret was gonna be late to color guard practice (even though Margaret didn’t want me to…but hey we all voted that she was gonna stay, and she lost, lol…even though she decided to leave all of us anyway), Margaret was calling some secret person that she wouldn’t tell us (we all made fun of her and said it was some secret boyfriend, and Margaret says, “Yeah, I have so many of them!” haha), and Sieg was calling Eric to yell at him for not showing up. That was a fun time :P! It was so funny because the second Margaret left, I decided to call her. Sieg was on the phone with Eric at the time, and so we both gave her our phones to say hi at the same time. So there Laura was with a phone against each ear, lmao. And it cracked me up so hard when Chris was trying to open up my cell phone with his thumb and ended up flinging it across the table instead, lmao. Also, Laura got a free gelato for her birthday! *WOO*! After we got done eating we had a helluva time getting the money ready (we had so much change it was insane) but somehow we forgot to leave a tip. I thought for sure we did because I heard Chris and Alex Meyers talking about giving the tip (because none of us had any ones). But when Laura, Sieg, and I went to the bathroom, the waitress actually followed us in there (talk about an evasion of space, lol) and totally stared down Laura and Sieg telling them how they didn’t leave her a tip. We should’ve just said, “Oh I’m sorry, we were just about to go leave you a tip, but since you just stalked us into the bathroom, maybe we won’t anymore.” LOL.
We went to Persian afterwards, and we all looked at the pretty shoes. Laura and I have the same tendency not to wear heels. I’m sorry but I’m just not graceful. I’ll only wear heels if I can sit down the whole time while wearing them. Gosh it’s painful to be beautiful, lol. And then Chris has to listen to mine and Sieg’s conversation about our boobs. Didn’t you just love listening to that, Chris? HAHA. Thank you Sieg for saying that you would give me half of yours, lmao. Sieg and I tried on homecoming dresses, and we shared the same dressing room-ooh baby don’t ya wish you were there JK LMAO. Sieg looked beautiful in all the dresses she tried on :oD! I tried on this black one that I really didn’t think I was gonna like. But Sieg predicted that I would come back and buy it before I even tried it on. And she was right-it really did look nice (and thank you Chris for approving, LOL). First of all, it had padding in the top (thank the Lord, hahaha) and it has this big slit up the side (oooh baby!). So I’m thinking about getting that and wearing pink accessories. Sieg was SO sweet last night online, and when I told her I was thinking about buying that dress, she told me that today she’s gonna buy me a pink flower to go in my hair for homecoming. Awww!!