Back from ashland
God knows why I'm posting now, I'm sooo insane and if there was such a thing as a daytime hangover, I would have it now. it''s 1 36 in the fucking morning and I'm out of my mind. (Dollface, you know who you are, I don't know if you'll read this, but if you do, I'm sorry if that was so strange and i want us to be friends forever and ever. Nothing should get in the way of that.) It was strange today. after seeing her, I visited my friend and had awkward-ish, seductive sex. And afterwards, it seemed he wanted some words to solidify us. months ago, I would have died for some kind of confirmation between us. a tap or a kiss or a hug, signifying something. but today I gave him a hesitant kiss. I know now I'm just using him for some kind of confirmation of caring, love, feeling. I don't love him any more then he cares for me, probably less. I just go there became he wants me enough to let me stay, he puts up with me drunk, complaining, and still wants to kiss me in the end. I know I'm a horrible person. if he loved me i would never do this to him. but I have nobody right now that I really have a chance with, or care enough for to drop him. If I thought that I had a shot at someone I really cared for, then it would be different,but...
Anyways, my week was interesting. Ashland was somewhat eventful. I smoked, somewhat regrettably. I was just so depressed and lonely at the time it bottled up and I took it out on some nicotine, the poor victim. I had some laughter, saw some semi-naked people, had to lick some strange places, ate at good resturants, played water-chicken. All in all amusing. my friend asked out a girl!!! that was the secret!!!! I'm so proud of him! he's usually the shyest kid in the world. I want to make him join the pimp club. joy! I feel so loved after that trip. I thought I might be really loner-like and seclude myself fromm the world, but I didn't! I was happy social Kali. be proud. I sort of wish I had stayed, just to experience the love at school and stuff. but I don't regret going. I must ask, anyone who went to the MSI concert on wednesday? how was it? was it sexy? whoever made out with jimmy urine gets extra points!!! must know details! was it happy/sad/insane? God I feel so bubble like. in my own little world. enter it and I will love you forever.
Anyways, my week was interesting. Ashland was somewhat eventful. I smoked, somewhat regrettably. I was just so depressed and lonely at the time it bottled up and I took it out on some nicotine, the poor victim. I had some laughter, saw some semi-naked people, had to lick some strange places, ate at good resturants, played water-chicken. All in all amusing. my friend asked out a girl!!! that was the secret!!!! I'm so proud of him! he's usually the shyest kid in the world. I want to make him join the pimp club. joy! I feel so loved after that trip. I thought I might be really loner-like and seclude myself fromm the world, but I didn't! I was happy social Kali. be proud. I sort of wish I had stayed, just to experience the love at school and stuff. but I don't regret going. I must ask, anyone who went to the MSI concert on wednesday? how was it? was it sexy? whoever made out with jimmy urine gets extra points!!! must know details! was it happy/sad/insane? God I feel so bubble like. in my own little world. enter it and I will love you forever.