One size fits all...
I'm sitting here,
tired....
yet so buzzed I am immovable.
hoping for something wonderful miracle to happen but it never does
and yet nothing could ever wreak salvation on me.
nothing could make my day brighter then to sit here unmoving,
tremulous with worry...
maybe fear of some distant untouchable future
maybe worry that my life is lost between the lines of my thoughts
my thoughts lost between the cracks of time, slowly drifting,
so easily leaving my head, so hard to return.
wishing I could write cold dark like the night with bright lights slowly singing me to sleep,
androgynous angels whistling tunes of beautiful life changing notes into my ears, waiting for my ill-kept secrets to pour into their willing ears. A tiger bellows with fury and I dribble out of my last bottle of liquor, melting onto the floor, drop, drop, I tiptoe away with my sanity, so easily spent on sex appeal and madness. so tired, so confused at why my life seems to disappear like houdini, whispering, cursing, hoping for something more then this shell, so fragile, and it echos with the sound of a thousand voices the voices of wind blowing through the trees, the earth in my toes, the waves pouring, fire roaring , a mantle a heart somewhere to start instead of ending where I always do, curled up in the sand, my hair messy and thick, feet sore, dress stained, and nowhere nearer to home.
my body is attempting to slink... trying to attract my shadow to come nearer and nearer. don't leave me! I cry, but it has better things to do then listen to the misery of a girl lost in her dress, lost in the torrent of sweat, tears, badly-applied makeup clinging to her skin like it is the last sin to be left naked, without a mask of black and white and stories. we all put on so many masks, and I wish I could tear down the borders we have so carefully set up. see each desire so loud in our heads exposed, our fears, hopes and dreams, all out for everyone to see. I would like to see us then, our melodrama and fragile smiles so easily swept aside. those mean and nice, young and old, privileged and poor, hopeless and perfect , all inhibitions and questions and faces suddenly more transparent then the air. freedom has costs worth paying, the tact so carefully set up by society would be worth letting go of, if we could let go of all the lies.
Dancing in the Shadows
So would I be without the badly applied words, what can I say to you when there is nothing to say. just whisper comforting phrases that you do not mean, keep whispering them, because I do not want to be left alone with you and the truth. maybe I'm attempting to attach myself to the shred of decency that does not exist between us, the shred of hope that there is something else then this moment of me in your arms, looking at the ceiling, trying not to cry tears of ecstasy and loneliness, and you, no doubt waiting for an excuse to kick me out of your bed, so that you are left alone to cuddle the stains, satisfied. how bitter, satisfaction. revenge is supposed to be sweet... so next time I see you out THERE, dancing the dance of the urban socialite, I can grit my teeth, and think of you pathetic, pleading wanting needing something other than what is so regrettably yours, and I will smile, and think of honey.
tired....
yet so buzzed I am immovable.
hoping for something wonderful miracle to happen but it never does
and yet nothing could ever wreak salvation on me.
nothing could make my day brighter then to sit here unmoving,
tremulous with worry...
maybe fear of some distant untouchable future
maybe worry that my life is lost between the lines of my thoughts
my thoughts lost between the cracks of time, slowly drifting,
so easily leaving my head, so hard to return.
wishing I could write cold dark like the night with bright lights slowly singing me to sleep,
androgynous angels whistling tunes of beautiful life changing notes into my ears, waiting for my ill-kept secrets to pour into their willing ears. A tiger bellows with fury and I dribble out of my last bottle of liquor, melting onto the floor, drop, drop, I tiptoe away with my sanity, so easily spent on sex appeal and madness. so tired, so confused at why my life seems to disappear like houdini, whispering, cursing, hoping for something more then this shell, so fragile, and it echos with the sound of a thousand voices the voices of wind blowing through the trees, the earth in my toes, the waves pouring, fire roaring , a mantle a heart somewhere to start instead of ending where I always do, curled up in the sand, my hair messy and thick, feet sore, dress stained, and nowhere nearer to home.
my body is attempting to slink... trying to attract my shadow to come nearer and nearer. don't leave me! I cry, but it has better things to do then listen to the misery of a girl lost in her dress, lost in the torrent of sweat, tears, badly-applied makeup clinging to her skin like it is the last sin to be left naked, without a mask of black and white and stories. we all put on so many masks, and I wish I could tear down the borders we have so carefully set up. see each desire so loud in our heads exposed, our fears, hopes and dreams, all out for everyone to see. I would like to see us then, our melodrama and fragile smiles so easily swept aside. those mean and nice, young and old, privileged and poor, hopeless and perfect , all inhibitions and questions and faces suddenly more transparent then the air. freedom has costs worth paying, the tact so carefully set up by society would be worth letting go of, if we could let go of all the lies.
Dancing in the Shadows
So would I be without the badly applied words, what can I say to you when there is nothing to say. just whisper comforting phrases that you do not mean, keep whispering them, because I do not want to be left alone with you and the truth. maybe I'm attempting to attach myself to the shred of decency that does not exist between us, the shred of hope that there is something else then this moment of me in your arms, looking at the ceiling, trying not to cry tears of ecstasy and loneliness, and you, no doubt waiting for an excuse to kick me out of your bed, so that you are left alone to cuddle the stains, satisfied. how bitter, satisfaction. revenge is supposed to be sweet... so next time I see you out THERE, dancing the dance of the urban socialite, I can grit my teeth, and think of you pathetic, pleading wanting needing something other than what is so regrettably yours, and I will smile, and think of honey.