no lies, just love.
I usually hate holidays. Hate, with a capital H. Bold letters. Hate.
But this Thanksgiving, oh I don't know... I felt thankful. I felt complete. I felt like that undeniable divine energy is intervening in my life in a good way. And I don't fear the fall anymore, I don't fear hitting the ground. I don't fear much of anything anymore, because I feel at peace. I know that if these good times end, it will all be worth it. No holding back. No worries. No lies, just love.
Aside from feeling at peace, I simply had a good time.
I enjoyed visiting my grandmother in the hospital this morning, because I haven't had the chance or good-timing to see her since she's been in. It was my choice to go, too. I wanted to be there. And I sat and talked and saw her in pain, but all the time I was thankful. Thankful that she helped me grow up, because without her I would be a completely different person. She taught me to share my emotions, something my father couldn't relay to a tiny little girl. Even more, I was thankful that she was still alive, that she's getting better, that she's not even in ICU right now and she'll be getting out soon. I was happy. I was true.
I called my grandfather, something I haven't done in ages. I talked to all of the people gathered in his house, all of my family members that I sometimes forget. I talked to my little brother, my mom, Barb. It felt good. My aunt's out of prison now, she's staying with him trying to get sober. It's good.
I had a great time with his family, and surprisingly didn't feel at all uncomfortable. I had enough wine at dinner to feel, enough laughs to go around. Dinner with my family, just the same, minus the wine. We sat there and I realized how good it feels when people stare at us, even if it's in a condescending way. Luckily enough (though I wouldn't care either way), most people are mature enough to not look down upon our so-called interracial relationship. I don't view it as interracial, but some people do. Whatever. Fuck 'em.
Midnight trips to Wal-Mart for KY and batteries are fun, too. I must add, just by default, that the KY and batteries were completely unrelated purchases. KY is for fun, batteries are necessary for operating television remotes.
I just got home. I'm sleepier than I realized.
I've started my newest secret to send into post-secret. I've thought about sending in another one to nullify the first one I sent in, but it really isn't necessary other than to make me feel like I've released it.
My new one states: "When we make plans together, I feel happy. It doesn't have to be plans for the future, just plans for dinner on Saturday night. It reminds me that this isn't temporary, and I'm not scared at all."
Happy Thanksgiving.
If you can't be thankful for something real, then I'm sorry.
G'night.
But this Thanksgiving, oh I don't know... I felt thankful. I felt complete. I felt like that undeniable divine energy is intervening in my life in a good way. And I don't fear the fall anymore, I don't fear hitting the ground. I don't fear much of anything anymore, because I feel at peace. I know that if these good times end, it will all be worth it. No holding back. No worries. No lies, just love.
Aside from feeling at peace, I simply had a good time.
I enjoyed visiting my grandmother in the hospital this morning, because I haven't had the chance or good-timing to see her since she's been in. It was my choice to go, too. I wanted to be there. And I sat and talked and saw her in pain, but all the time I was thankful. Thankful that she helped me grow up, because without her I would be a completely different person. She taught me to share my emotions, something my father couldn't relay to a tiny little girl. Even more, I was thankful that she was still alive, that she's getting better, that she's not even in ICU right now and she'll be getting out soon. I was happy. I was true.
I called my grandfather, something I haven't done in ages. I talked to all of the people gathered in his house, all of my family members that I sometimes forget. I talked to my little brother, my mom, Barb. It felt good. My aunt's out of prison now, she's staying with him trying to get sober. It's good.
I had a great time with his family, and surprisingly didn't feel at all uncomfortable. I had enough wine at dinner to feel, enough laughs to go around. Dinner with my family, just the same, minus the wine. We sat there and I realized how good it feels when people stare at us, even if it's in a condescending way. Luckily enough (though I wouldn't care either way), most people are mature enough to not look down upon our so-called interracial relationship. I don't view it as interracial, but some people do. Whatever. Fuck 'em.
Midnight trips to Wal-Mart for KY and batteries are fun, too. I must add, just by default, that the KY and batteries were completely unrelated purchases. KY is for fun, batteries are necessary for operating television remotes.
I just got home. I'm sleepier than I realized.
I've started my newest secret to send into post-secret. I've thought about sending in another one to nullify the first one I sent in, but it really isn't necessary other than to make me feel like I've released it.
My new one states: "When we make plans together, I feel happy. It doesn't have to be plans for the future, just plans for dinner on Saturday night. It reminds me that this isn't temporary, and I'm not scared at all."
Happy Thanksgiving.
If you can't be thankful for something real, then I'm sorry.
G'night.