This is a Journal!
So I'm gonna add some darn journal enteries. I know it's a rather large compilation of stuff for one entry, but this is from my own personal journal I wrote in wordpad for a few weeks. I'm rather inconsistent, and I should really write more. Well bam! Here.
2:13am Aug 19 2006
So I’ve been advised to keep a consecutive journal consisting of an entry every two weeks, give or take. It’s always had a soft-hearted appeal to me, but I find it somehow hard to be consistent enough to make a constant journal entry. Well, we’ll see how I do. I do want to make a autobiography for when I become a writer after all. Maybe if I organize a formula the writing process will be easier for me. Events first…
So lets see, two weeks ago. Shelby got into town, and my brother ran away to Canada. What can I say. A short time before that my old brother left for jail, ready to serve a sentence based on speeding tickets and other things he had outstanding. I don’t keep up on my brother’s lives. When my little brother begins to fight with his girlfriend on the phone I try to turn a deaf ear. It’s annoying, and it gets on my nerves. Anyways, he ran away to Canada to be with his girlfriend Marcy. I find this to be disgusting, since he cheats on her on a regular basis. Then, he drops money, so far 2500$ + to go be with her. Not bad enough that they’re on the phone twenty four seven.
My social life has taken a dive because of his presence and constant use of the phone. So, of course, when he left my social life began to rise. I was able to talk to Beau more, talk to friends and make plans, and get done important financial duties that’d been waiting for a while. I was hoping, and still am hoping, he’ll stay there. My mom’s threatened to make him get a job or find somewhere else to live if he fails out of school. I don’t see her sticking to her word, since she’s never done so in the past. I consider it weak-mindedness.
Jason being gone isn’t so bad. What I really like though is the absence of unwanted guests. God, nobody wants to deal with friends like theirs, not even them. I’m so glad that I’ve always had quality friends who are good people. At least, the ones I’ve kept have been. I consider myself to be a god judge of character, with strong perceptions of other people. Empathy has always been my strong point.
Well, anyways, I’m the god father of Zoey Gardner, my friend Beau Gardner’s daughter. I’m hoping to make the best of it and be somewhat involved in her life. Perhaps this summer I’ll go down and see them. I heard married people conversation on the phone while talking to them. It was hilarious. They were just like a married couple. Hmmm, Shelby’s grandpa died, and I was sent to deliver flowers. I was apparently off by one number, turning 110 to 1101. Welcome to the Matrix. It could’ve been fault of the cell phone, or some other factor that I dunno… (She has a Nokia phone. Nokia phones suck! They’re cheap little things…) Hmm, we weren’t able to do anything with her because of this turn of events. It’s obviously been a little hard on her, but she’s taking it okay… kinda. She wanted me to bring alcohol, though I’m the one who suggested to bring it in the first place. Her desire was to see what getting drunk was like. Like all things of this nature it was fun at first, then ended up going downhill once she got nauseous. She was okay, but we called her husband to pick her up, at Casey’s suggestion. Her husband was upset, since we woke him up at 3 am. I totally would be upset in his shoes too.
Oh, but two days earlier Casey, Joe, and I went to watch movies at her house. We stopped at Denny’s and I paid with my newly active credit card. It settled a little bit of the debt I owe them. We didn’t get to watch movies, but the next day we invited Shelby over too and watched some movies. It was fun, since I brought root beer and ice cream.
Hmm, well, that about settles the events. I need to correct my mistake I made on those flowers. That shouldn’t be too hard.
Sept 10, 2007 2:38 AM
- Man creates the illusion of wisdom through words; The illusion of greatness through actions, but when the day is over a man is just a man.
- With every facet of life a suitable balance must be achieved.
Sept 11, 2007 11:20 PM
It’s been about 3 or 4 weeks since my last entry. Bah, talk about stretching it. Well, at least I’m making entries. Lets see what’s been going on. The first half of my absence was spent playing games with my friends Tanner and Beau. Through this time I’ve been growing closer to them. It’s funny; when we play games we grow closer together, especially when using the function of teamspeak. A simple program that allows you to communicate via microphone and speakers. They do see me in a bright light.
In my current group I’m sorta seen as the joker, the prankster, and perhaps not all that bright by the majority of the group. The other half know me for a man of good character and judgment. In my small gaming group I’m known as an intelligent, humorous, and leader sort of character. It’s a nice change, though admittedly I should be spending more time with my current group.
It was entertaining to play old games like Starcraft and Warcraft III with them. In that time I’ve decided that moving in with Beau would be a better option than living here and attending college in an environment that’s less than motivating. It’ll also allow me to pay my debts off and save up for college since I’ll be getting cheap rent. I wish I could move by plane, but I need my car. I really hate driving though…
My worries are that I’ll be moving in with a married couple and a small child. Hopefully this’ll allow me to learn to be better with infants and I’ll make myself a better person.
Well, that was the first half. It’s been rather uneventful. Thus I lead into the later half. Andrea came down for a few days. The 4th through the 8th. I was assigned to pick her up. However, for the last month or more her and I were nitpicking and carefully fighting with each other. The main fight was that there was this misunderstanding between one another and a large divide between us that seemed unnecessary. This fight stemmed from my discontent that she wouldn’t initiate conversation with me. After settling our arguments, about a week before her arrival, we probably both anticipated meeting face to face.
Joe and Casey made arrangements to get the ticket without my consent, approval, and without notifying me. Honestly though it didn’t upset me. It just seemed inconsiderate that they’d wait two days to tell me they got the ticket. They left me out of the whole groups plans.
Casey was assigned to go with me, which was a good idea anyways. We shoulda planned to leave half an hour earlier though. I underestimated the time it’d take to get there. And Casey thought that the traffic would be bad. However, I’ve driven through Denver plenty of times and there’s only a few key times when traffic is bad. I knew we weren’t going into Denver at one of those key times. Casey was right that we shoulda left earlier but she didn’t say anything about leaving before 11:00am.
Anyways, we were half an hour late. Poor Andrea had been waiting half an hour for us. She wasn’t upset though, which is good. She gave Casey a big hug, and then she gave me a medium hug. She mentioned my hair and talked about some of the interesting things that had been happening with her. I mainly listened and went along a little ways ahead, still in earshot. We got into the car and drove off, and Casey and Andrea talked. It was nice that Andrea was acknowledging me more than usual, and helped put me at ease. It was always awkward when she ignored me. It also helped that she looked like a hobo when we met her. So, I didn’t feel as attracted to her. The trip was off to a good start at least. I dropped them off after getting “Dirge of Cerberus” from the video game store and proceeded home.
I talked to Joe, and then we all made plans to go watch movies at Joe’s house. We got to watch Andrea’s cool movie “Kamikaze Girls” which was a lot like “Kung Fu Hustle” but of a different genre, drama. I’ll probably buy it some time. We then spent a little more time together, hanging around, before we headed home again.
The next day we decided to go Laser Tagging. Andrea actually looked attractive, and we headed to Quasar’s with Casey’s brother and the rest of the gang. We played some games of Lazer tag, having a good time while doing it. It was pretty fun, and Casey’s brother took first. I remember on the second match me and Andrea had a face off moment going as we stood on opposite sides of a wall waiting for the other to make the first move. I got her and went off. Later her and Joe sandwiched me in and I had no where to go, so I had to retreat after getting shot. At the end of the round her and I faced off at the end of the arena and at the last second our lasers turned off. We high fived and left. Afterwards we got some Chinese and watched Advent Children. We also watched the opening to Dirge of Cerberus. Then we went home.
Me and Andrea were definitely getting along better this time around. The next day we went to the pool at Joe’s apartment. We had a good time swimming around, playing marco polo and chicken. We also raced and went to the sauna. She seemed pretty content and open, being the one talking for a good majority of the time in the sauna. Then, we went to chilli’s to eat. We had a good time, and good food. Then we went back to Joe’s and just hung out. Me and Andrea seemed to be getting along well, which was certainly different than the awkward, far away rift we usually have between us.
We then headed home. If there was more room I probably coulda spent the night, but I think it was for the better that I went home. They rented Monty Python and got to watch that. I still haven’t seen all of it, just bits and pieces. I suppose I’ll get to watch it with Val when I see her for the first time. I then picked them up, and we talked a little bit on the trip to Denver while Casey slept in the back seat. We were both at ease. We had to use the toll E470 to save time. She got there right on time, I’d say, without a minute to spare. We then said our goodbyes, took our parting pictures, and hugged. So, something happened out of the blue. She gave Casey a big, sad hug. Then we hugged. I figured it’d be a short hug cause she still had checking in to do. Well, I hugged her for a little bit, then let go. She was still holding on. So I put my arms back around her and returned her hug, which felt pretty big and fairly long. We let go at the same time, though it was the second time for me. Her and I said something at the same time. Undoubtedly, our message was the same. It’d be a while before we saw each other again. I felt pretty good about everything, and all the entire way the trip had gone. Her and I had said the same thing at the same time on more than one occasion, and she laughed at a few of the jokes I made. While I definitely felt a little more reserved and kept what I said in check, I still felt relaxed and natural around her.
I think our friendship will be more at ease and on stronger ground from here on out. I met Paul as well. He took over leadership some time after we were all scatted and I had left. It was pretty natural meeting him for the first time. Seemed like he was just a new element in the group. He definitely has the role of leader established for himself. I suppose if I want to take the leadership I’ll have to deal with a power struggle and exert my wants a bit more. It’ll be new to me, but damnit I should take that role. It’s what I was born to do.
Paul’s okay. Not as funny. Goten acts like a fricken yes man ass kisser around him. He slams on Beau, though Beau does mess up from time to time. Beau is okay, needs to work on a few things. He can be too sensitive, and too emotional. He can make you angry with his inconsideration. Goten’s okay, he’s just has an unsteady personality that changes constantly. He’s also distant from time to time.
Dee’s kinda fallen off the radar. He’s not well liked either. His personality and certain traits about him make him a person of questionable motives. Other than that, time goes by. My family gets on my nerves, and I try to ignore them. In the next few days I’ll be figuring out my court times and getting my warrant and reckless driving ticket figured out. Who knows how that’ll go. My hope is that it goes well. Then, I’ll be off to the convention (NDK) and then to Omaha. I’ll be sure to write more in the upcoming weeks.
September 25, 2006 1:05 AM
Hmm, well nothings really been happening. Makes me wonder why I’m entering in anything. Still it’s good to run down the things in life as they come. Two weeks from now I’ll be writing down hopefully a slew of info. I have packing to do to start off. I have to tell both Shelby and Andrea I’ll be moving, though the impact they’ll feel will most likely be minimal. I will hopefully be spending more time with Casey and Joe before the two weeks have passed. I can’t believe I’m moving, and at the same time is feels so real to me.
I would be lying if I said it didn’t feel like it was some far ways off. Two weeks seems like a long stretch of time to me. I never got my ticket taken care of. This is because it sounds like it’s only jurisdiction is within it‘s own county. I know inside I shouldn’t close my eyes to it, but I don’t have a ton of faith in the speeding ticket system because of a ridiculous judge.
I’ve been assigned to do volunteer work in NDK. I’ll probably go ahead and do it, but ask for reduced hours. It kind of came unexpectedly. Also I’m going to get my labret pierced and hair lightened. This should work out well I hope. I want to look good, as I always have.
While I live with Beau I’m hoping I can become more active and work off each other to become better people. Hell, maybe I’ll even take up meditation. I should get in contact with Deidre and work out spending some time with her before I go. I would at least like to tell her I’m leaving. If I stay disciplined while I live with Beau it’ll prove two things. One, that my current environment is highly destructive to my character, and two that I can be a great person.
Mish wants to spend time with me before I leave. I really dunno how I feel about this. I’m glad I can make friends with her, as I do want to follow Casanova’s power with women. But I don’t feel comfortable around her, nor do I feel a connection to her. Perhaps it’s my job to find a connection. Who knows.
Tomorrow I start on my road to glory. I’ll do more there than I did here, and I’ll be the person I want to be. I want it to be easy, I really do. If it’s hard then I’m not as strong as I thought I was. If this isn’t easy then the things that are trully hard will crush me utterly. Guess we’ll see. Fresh start, right?
On that note what else can I say. I’m excited about the convention. I’m looking forward to moving. What adventurers will I find? I’m sure I’ll make the most of it. Hmmm, it’s funny, but love seems to play no part in my heart. Sure, dating is nice and all, but I don’t have to follow it like so many others. It’s certainly not the end all.
Perhaps I’ll wrote more things. I’ll finish my stories, and create masterpieces for once. I know I’m intelligent, capable and talented enough to become something so amazing and so great. I just need to do it. Hmmm, what else can I say? The drive will be long, but you know what, I’ll have my cats with me.
Oh, I need to talk to the state vet about getting my breeders license and breeding cats. I’m certainly looking forward to it. I guess I’ll write a blog soon as well. Hmm, I’ve been getting into Dee’s personal logs. There’s a lot of lame stuff in there. I suppose it’s worth my time to look through though. Well, my next entry will be just before the move. Till then, adieu.
Oct 03, 2006 11am
The events since the last post have been rather eventful. Lets see. I went clothes shopping with Deidre and Scott, picking up some new duds. I look great in them, and I love my new look. It was fun hanging around with them. We had a big hang out at my house, and it was fun until my mom screwed things up being an idiot. You have to wonder if she did it on purpose, or if she’s truly that stupid.
Anyways, continuing on. I then planned out the course of my week. There wasn’t much to it really. Infact I hardly remember any of it. I did spend a lot of money getting stuff though, like cat supplies and hygiene product. But other than that there wasn’t much else.
I went to Shae’s house with Joe and Casey on Friday. We had a good time looking at things in walmart and later going to the park, but a cop caught us out there and got me for my warrant. He was a good guy. One of the few nice cops still doing his job. I was booked and went to jail, though. Went in around 3am and got out around 1pm. Joe bailed me out with the others.
It was funny some of their reactions and oddly enough the others were concerned more about not spending time with me rather than I’m going to jail. Well anyways we planned out what we were going to do for the con and all that good stuff. I’ll be doing volunteer stuff, though, so I gotta figure out what I’m going to do. I’m pretty sure I’ll just go ahead and volunteer. Couldn’t hurt, that’s for sure. I’ll get a free T-Shirt out of it at least. I know I’ll have to ask for some things off though, which I should do soon.
Hmmm, other than that things have been normal. Nothing too big to report. I just need to get to packing and filling out things. I have court date on the 10th, the date I should have been leaving. Well hopefully it’ll go well. I never should have taken the advice of my Mom’s boyfriend though, that’s for sure. It’s my fault though.
Oct 18, 2006 10:42
I just realized the convention came and passed and I haven’t made an entry here. Well lets see. I went to the convention on the 6th. There were two rooms and we ended up splitting in a unfair fashion to me and Joe. It worked out in the end though when we stayed with the other party we were more familiar with. There were five girls in the room. Shae, Melissa, Casie, Shae and Cassandra. Melissa was very attractive.
Basically the convention didn’t feel as good as it once did. I dunno why either. I’m thinking I just need new company and to meet new people in order to really enjoy the convention. I felt like I could have immersed in the people around me more. I should’ve done more than I did. Well, anyways, it wasn’t so bad. I got a nice taste of volunteering and found it passed the time. Next year, though, I’m going in costume. I’m going to make sure of that. None of this street clothes stuff.
I enjoyed the rave this year more than I did last year. The dance was about even, all things considered. I didn’t do karaoke though, which honestly made me sad because I did it so often the last two years. I really want to try a new crowd, and am hoping my Colby friends come with me. So, in short, I plan on making next year’s con better than the last.
The final week was a bit of a pull around before leaving. Beau said he wasn’t going to Colby, then says he was, and Goten seemed confused about everything as though he hadn’t paid attention at all. This caused me to unnecessarily stay at one of my friends for the night and then spend two days in a bed with no coverings.
I finally left and took my cats and whatnot with me. They acted up throughout the ride until half way through when they just slept. I spent time with Goten at the shop and just played some games with him. It was entertaining enough, and then we went to get Beau the next night.
We got Beau and had to go out in the Country. It was very rough, and the dirt roads were mud. So we had a lot of trouble getting around. Finally we got to Goten’s mom’s house and got what we needed and went back. It took us two or three hours, and we almost got stuck on more than one occasion. The next day we spent time in Colby and I got a really really bad haircut. We bumped into Tanner Glad and we went to the China buffet to eat. It was a pretty good time.
Later we went to hang out with Dee and Michelle. I didn’t realized how attractive Michelle was until I saw her. It’s funny because Dee is all into her, and he does so well because he’s not shy around her.
Anyways, it went well and we had a good time together. I do need to ask her a few things which shouldn’t be a problem. I don’t doubt that Dee’ll be occupying a lot of her free time when he can.
Hmmm. We then went home, slept, and me and Beau left to Sharon Springs and I just slept while my cats frittered. It’s been pretty uneventful since then. So, I’m just gonna go to sleep.
Before I go I do want to say one thing. I do feel a little depressed about leaving. But that’s simply the inevitable.
Dec 19, 2006 8:44 AM
My last entry was before my departure, a few good months ago. However I have recent entries in my Myspace Blog, which I should transfer over here. Well, life has simply gone on. I’ve felt depressed for a good week, and then I see Andrea’s picture and a feeling comes over me. That feeling was sort of a revelation. I realized that perhaps I’m living too much in the ethereal, connected to a phantom that isn’t completely there. There’s a presence in my mind that I feel strongly towards, that I desire more than anything. This phantom, while have a similar, overlapping mind and body to Andrea is not her. Much of it is added to, and therefore is a spiritual presence of it’s own, comprised of many of Andrea’s features. By keeping this in mind, I can recognize Andrea not as a greater entity, but rather as an equal. Sometimes mulling over these things, though, places me back in a position to forget.
I’ve decided here forth that I shall aspire forth to reach my goals in life. I feel I’ve already made a few of those steps in the last twenty four hours by pushing myself harder, and father. I believe that it was instilled in my at a early age, by some one or something unknown to me, to become a great person. I’ve never really had a super hero, all my super heroes were created in my imagination, set by standards I had set myself. How I’ve grown the way I have is beyond me.
I believe it has set me apart in many ways, but at the same time it has created something inside me that will last forever. This part of me will allow me to become a great person in my life, one who will never give up or settle for less. I hope though that this beginning doesn’t meet a short end in the time that follows this entry. I hope that I go strong and push forward. This is for myself, and for no one else. I know if I want to be with Andrea or someone equal in my mind to her than I must reach a level of greatness not found in many others. Greatness in character as much as status. This is something I want, and is for no single person other than myself. People like Andrea exist, and they come and go, though sparingly. I must make myself a great person if I am to fall in love with one.
2:13am Aug 19 2006
So I’ve been advised to keep a consecutive journal consisting of an entry every two weeks, give or take. It’s always had a soft-hearted appeal to me, but I find it somehow hard to be consistent enough to make a constant journal entry. Well, we’ll see how I do. I do want to make a autobiography for when I become a writer after all. Maybe if I organize a formula the writing process will be easier for me. Events first…
So lets see, two weeks ago. Shelby got into town, and my brother ran away to Canada. What can I say. A short time before that my old brother left for jail, ready to serve a sentence based on speeding tickets and other things he had outstanding. I don’t keep up on my brother’s lives. When my little brother begins to fight with his girlfriend on the phone I try to turn a deaf ear. It’s annoying, and it gets on my nerves. Anyways, he ran away to Canada to be with his girlfriend Marcy. I find this to be disgusting, since he cheats on her on a regular basis. Then, he drops money, so far 2500$ + to go be with her. Not bad enough that they’re on the phone twenty four seven.
My social life has taken a dive because of his presence and constant use of the phone. So, of course, when he left my social life began to rise. I was able to talk to Beau more, talk to friends and make plans, and get done important financial duties that’d been waiting for a while. I was hoping, and still am hoping, he’ll stay there. My mom’s threatened to make him get a job or find somewhere else to live if he fails out of school. I don’t see her sticking to her word, since she’s never done so in the past. I consider it weak-mindedness.
Jason being gone isn’t so bad. What I really like though is the absence of unwanted guests. God, nobody wants to deal with friends like theirs, not even them. I’m so glad that I’ve always had quality friends who are good people. At least, the ones I’ve kept have been. I consider myself to be a god judge of character, with strong perceptions of other people. Empathy has always been my strong point.
Well, anyways, I’m the god father of Zoey Gardner, my friend Beau Gardner’s daughter. I’m hoping to make the best of it and be somewhat involved in her life. Perhaps this summer I’ll go down and see them. I heard married people conversation on the phone while talking to them. It was hilarious. They were just like a married couple. Hmmm, Shelby’s grandpa died, and I was sent to deliver flowers. I was apparently off by one number, turning 110 to 1101. Welcome to the Matrix. It could’ve been fault of the cell phone, or some other factor that I dunno… (She has a Nokia phone. Nokia phones suck! They’re cheap little things…) Hmm, we weren’t able to do anything with her because of this turn of events. It’s obviously been a little hard on her, but she’s taking it okay… kinda. She wanted me to bring alcohol, though I’m the one who suggested to bring it in the first place. Her desire was to see what getting drunk was like. Like all things of this nature it was fun at first, then ended up going downhill once she got nauseous. She was okay, but we called her husband to pick her up, at Casey’s suggestion. Her husband was upset, since we woke him up at 3 am. I totally would be upset in his shoes too.
Oh, but two days earlier Casey, Joe, and I went to watch movies at her house. We stopped at Denny’s and I paid with my newly active credit card. It settled a little bit of the debt I owe them. We didn’t get to watch movies, but the next day we invited Shelby over too and watched some movies. It was fun, since I brought root beer and ice cream.
Hmm, well, that about settles the events. I need to correct my mistake I made on those flowers. That shouldn’t be too hard.
Sept 10, 2007 2:38 AM
- Man creates the illusion of wisdom through words; The illusion of greatness through actions, but when the day is over a man is just a man.
- With every facet of life a suitable balance must be achieved.
Sept 11, 2007 11:20 PM
It’s been about 3 or 4 weeks since my last entry. Bah, talk about stretching it. Well, at least I’m making entries. Lets see what’s been going on. The first half of my absence was spent playing games with my friends Tanner and Beau. Through this time I’ve been growing closer to them. It’s funny; when we play games we grow closer together, especially when using the function of teamspeak. A simple program that allows you to communicate via microphone and speakers. They do see me in a bright light.
In my current group I’m sorta seen as the joker, the prankster, and perhaps not all that bright by the majority of the group. The other half know me for a man of good character and judgment. In my small gaming group I’m known as an intelligent, humorous, and leader sort of character. It’s a nice change, though admittedly I should be spending more time with my current group.
It was entertaining to play old games like Starcraft and Warcraft III with them. In that time I’ve decided that moving in with Beau would be a better option than living here and attending college in an environment that’s less than motivating. It’ll also allow me to pay my debts off and save up for college since I’ll be getting cheap rent. I wish I could move by plane, but I need my car. I really hate driving though…
My worries are that I’ll be moving in with a married couple and a small child. Hopefully this’ll allow me to learn to be better with infants and I’ll make myself a better person.
Well, that was the first half. It’s been rather uneventful. Thus I lead into the later half. Andrea came down for a few days. The 4th through the 8th. I was assigned to pick her up. However, for the last month or more her and I were nitpicking and carefully fighting with each other. The main fight was that there was this misunderstanding between one another and a large divide between us that seemed unnecessary. This fight stemmed from my discontent that she wouldn’t initiate conversation with me. After settling our arguments, about a week before her arrival, we probably both anticipated meeting face to face.
Joe and Casey made arrangements to get the ticket without my consent, approval, and without notifying me. Honestly though it didn’t upset me. It just seemed inconsiderate that they’d wait two days to tell me they got the ticket. They left me out of the whole groups plans.
Casey was assigned to go with me, which was a good idea anyways. We shoulda planned to leave half an hour earlier though. I underestimated the time it’d take to get there. And Casey thought that the traffic would be bad. However, I’ve driven through Denver plenty of times and there’s only a few key times when traffic is bad. I knew we weren’t going into Denver at one of those key times. Casey was right that we shoulda left earlier but she didn’t say anything about leaving before 11:00am.
Anyways, we were half an hour late. Poor Andrea had been waiting half an hour for us. She wasn’t upset though, which is good. She gave Casey a big hug, and then she gave me a medium hug. She mentioned my hair and talked about some of the interesting things that had been happening with her. I mainly listened and went along a little ways ahead, still in earshot. We got into the car and drove off, and Casey and Andrea talked. It was nice that Andrea was acknowledging me more than usual, and helped put me at ease. It was always awkward when she ignored me. It also helped that she looked like a hobo when we met her. So, I didn’t feel as attracted to her. The trip was off to a good start at least. I dropped them off after getting “Dirge of Cerberus” from the video game store and proceeded home.
I talked to Joe, and then we all made plans to go watch movies at Joe’s house. We got to watch Andrea’s cool movie “Kamikaze Girls” which was a lot like “Kung Fu Hustle” but of a different genre, drama. I’ll probably buy it some time. We then spent a little more time together, hanging around, before we headed home again.
The next day we decided to go Laser Tagging. Andrea actually looked attractive, and we headed to Quasar’s with Casey’s brother and the rest of the gang. We played some games of Lazer tag, having a good time while doing it. It was pretty fun, and Casey’s brother took first. I remember on the second match me and Andrea had a face off moment going as we stood on opposite sides of a wall waiting for the other to make the first move. I got her and went off. Later her and Joe sandwiched me in and I had no where to go, so I had to retreat after getting shot. At the end of the round her and I faced off at the end of the arena and at the last second our lasers turned off. We high fived and left. Afterwards we got some Chinese and watched Advent Children. We also watched the opening to Dirge of Cerberus. Then we went home.
Me and Andrea were definitely getting along better this time around. The next day we went to the pool at Joe’s apartment. We had a good time swimming around, playing marco polo and chicken. We also raced and went to the sauna. She seemed pretty content and open, being the one talking for a good majority of the time in the sauna. Then, we went to chilli’s to eat. We had a good time, and good food. Then we went back to Joe’s and just hung out. Me and Andrea seemed to be getting along well, which was certainly different than the awkward, far away rift we usually have between us.
We then headed home. If there was more room I probably coulda spent the night, but I think it was for the better that I went home. They rented Monty Python and got to watch that. I still haven’t seen all of it, just bits and pieces. I suppose I’ll get to watch it with Val when I see her for the first time. I then picked them up, and we talked a little bit on the trip to Denver while Casey slept in the back seat. We were both at ease. We had to use the toll E470 to save time. She got there right on time, I’d say, without a minute to spare. We then said our goodbyes, took our parting pictures, and hugged. So, something happened out of the blue. She gave Casey a big, sad hug. Then we hugged. I figured it’d be a short hug cause she still had checking in to do. Well, I hugged her for a little bit, then let go. She was still holding on. So I put my arms back around her and returned her hug, which felt pretty big and fairly long. We let go at the same time, though it was the second time for me. Her and I said something at the same time. Undoubtedly, our message was the same. It’d be a while before we saw each other again. I felt pretty good about everything, and all the entire way the trip had gone. Her and I had said the same thing at the same time on more than one occasion, and she laughed at a few of the jokes I made. While I definitely felt a little more reserved and kept what I said in check, I still felt relaxed and natural around her.
I think our friendship will be more at ease and on stronger ground from here on out. I met Paul as well. He took over leadership some time after we were all scatted and I had left. It was pretty natural meeting him for the first time. Seemed like he was just a new element in the group. He definitely has the role of leader established for himself. I suppose if I want to take the leadership I’ll have to deal with a power struggle and exert my wants a bit more. It’ll be new to me, but damnit I should take that role. It’s what I was born to do.
Paul’s okay. Not as funny. Goten acts like a fricken yes man ass kisser around him. He slams on Beau, though Beau does mess up from time to time. Beau is okay, needs to work on a few things. He can be too sensitive, and too emotional. He can make you angry with his inconsideration. Goten’s okay, he’s just has an unsteady personality that changes constantly. He’s also distant from time to time.
Dee’s kinda fallen off the radar. He’s not well liked either. His personality and certain traits about him make him a person of questionable motives. Other than that, time goes by. My family gets on my nerves, and I try to ignore them. In the next few days I’ll be figuring out my court times and getting my warrant and reckless driving ticket figured out. Who knows how that’ll go. My hope is that it goes well. Then, I’ll be off to the convention (NDK) and then to Omaha. I’ll be sure to write more in the upcoming weeks.
September 25, 2006 1:05 AM
Hmm, well nothings really been happening. Makes me wonder why I’m entering in anything. Still it’s good to run down the things in life as they come. Two weeks from now I’ll be writing down hopefully a slew of info. I have packing to do to start off. I have to tell both Shelby and Andrea I’ll be moving, though the impact they’ll feel will most likely be minimal. I will hopefully be spending more time with Casey and Joe before the two weeks have passed. I can’t believe I’m moving, and at the same time is feels so real to me.
I would be lying if I said it didn’t feel like it was some far ways off. Two weeks seems like a long stretch of time to me. I never got my ticket taken care of. This is because it sounds like it’s only jurisdiction is within it‘s own county. I know inside I shouldn’t close my eyes to it, but I don’t have a ton of faith in the speeding ticket system because of a ridiculous judge.
I’ve been assigned to do volunteer work in NDK. I’ll probably go ahead and do it, but ask for reduced hours. It kind of came unexpectedly. Also I’m going to get my labret pierced and hair lightened. This should work out well I hope. I want to look good, as I always have.
While I live with Beau I’m hoping I can become more active and work off each other to become better people. Hell, maybe I’ll even take up meditation. I should get in contact with Deidre and work out spending some time with her before I go. I would at least like to tell her I’m leaving. If I stay disciplined while I live with Beau it’ll prove two things. One, that my current environment is highly destructive to my character, and two that I can be a great person.
Mish wants to spend time with me before I leave. I really dunno how I feel about this. I’m glad I can make friends with her, as I do want to follow Casanova’s power with women. But I don’t feel comfortable around her, nor do I feel a connection to her. Perhaps it’s my job to find a connection. Who knows.
Tomorrow I start on my road to glory. I’ll do more there than I did here, and I’ll be the person I want to be. I want it to be easy, I really do. If it’s hard then I’m not as strong as I thought I was. If this isn’t easy then the things that are trully hard will crush me utterly. Guess we’ll see. Fresh start, right?
On that note what else can I say. I’m excited about the convention. I’m looking forward to moving. What adventurers will I find? I’m sure I’ll make the most of it. Hmmm, it’s funny, but love seems to play no part in my heart. Sure, dating is nice and all, but I don’t have to follow it like so many others. It’s certainly not the end all.
Perhaps I’ll wrote more things. I’ll finish my stories, and create masterpieces for once. I know I’m intelligent, capable and talented enough to become something so amazing and so great. I just need to do it. Hmmm, what else can I say? The drive will be long, but you know what, I’ll have my cats with me.
Oh, I need to talk to the state vet about getting my breeders license and breeding cats. I’m certainly looking forward to it. I guess I’ll write a blog soon as well. Hmm, I’ve been getting into Dee’s personal logs. There’s a lot of lame stuff in there. I suppose it’s worth my time to look through though. Well, my next entry will be just before the move. Till then, adieu.
Oct 03, 2006 11am
The events since the last post have been rather eventful. Lets see. I went clothes shopping with Deidre and Scott, picking up some new duds. I look great in them, and I love my new look. It was fun hanging around with them. We had a big hang out at my house, and it was fun until my mom screwed things up being an idiot. You have to wonder if she did it on purpose, or if she’s truly that stupid.
Anyways, continuing on. I then planned out the course of my week. There wasn’t much to it really. Infact I hardly remember any of it. I did spend a lot of money getting stuff though, like cat supplies and hygiene product. But other than that there wasn’t much else.
I went to Shae’s house with Joe and Casey on Friday. We had a good time looking at things in walmart and later going to the park, but a cop caught us out there and got me for my warrant. He was a good guy. One of the few nice cops still doing his job. I was booked and went to jail, though. Went in around 3am and got out around 1pm. Joe bailed me out with the others.
It was funny some of their reactions and oddly enough the others were concerned more about not spending time with me rather than I’m going to jail. Well anyways we planned out what we were going to do for the con and all that good stuff. I’ll be doing volunteer stuff, though, so I gotta figure out what I’m going to do. I’m pretty sure I’ll just go ahead and volunteer. Couldn’t hurt, that’s for sure. I’ll get a free T-Shirt out of it at least. I know I’ll have to ask for some things off though, which I should do soon.
Hmmm, other than that things have been normal. Nothing too big to report. I just need to get to packing and filling out things. I have court date on the 10th, the date I should have been leaving. Well hopefully it’ll go well. I never should have taken the advice of my Mom’s boyfriend though, that’s for sure. It’s my fault though.
Oct 18, 2006 10:42
I just realized the convention came and passed and I haven’t made an entry here. Well lets see. I went to the convention on the 6th. There were two rooms and we ended up splitting in a unfair fashion to me and Joe. It worked out in the end though when we stayed with the other party we were more familiar with. There were five girls in the room. Shae, Melissa, Casie, Shae and Cassandra. Melissa was very attractive.
Basically the convention didn’t feel as good as it once did. I dunno why either. I’m thinking I just need new company and to meet new people in order to really enjoy the convention. I felt like I could have immersed in the people around me more. I should’ve done more than I did. Well, anyways, it wasn’t so bad. I got a nice taste of volunteering and found it passed the time. Next year, though, I’m going in costume. I’m going to make sure of that. None of this street clothes stuff.
I enjoyed the rave this year more than I did last year. The dance was about even, all things considered. I didn’t do karaoke though, which honestly made me sad because I did it so often the last two years. I really want to try a new crowd, and am hoping my Colby friends come with me. So, in short, I plan on making next year’s con better than the last.
The final week was a bit of a pull around before leaving. Beau said he wasn’t going to Colby, then says he was, and Goten seemed confused about everything as though he hadn’t paid attention at all. This caused me to unnecessarily stay at one of my friends for the night and then spend two days in a bed with no coverings.
I finally left and took my cats and whatnot with me. They acted up throughout the ride until half way through when they just slept. I spent time with Goten at the shop and just played some games with him. It was entertaining enough, and then we went to get Beau the next night.
We got Beau and had to go out in the Country. It was very rough, and the dirt roads were mud. So we had a lot of trouble getting around. Finally we got to Goten’s mom’s house and got what we needed and went back. It took us two or three hours, and we almost got stuck on more than one occasion. The next day we spent time in Colby and I got a really really bad haircut. We bumped into Tanner Glad and we went to the China buffet to eat. It was a pretty good time.
Later we went to hang out with Dee and Michelle. I didn’t realized how attractive Michelle was until I saw her. It’s funny because Dee is all into her, and he does so well because he’s not shy around her.
Anyways, it went well and we had a good time together. I do need to ask her a few things which shouldn’t be a problem. I don’t doubt that Dee’ll be occupying a lot of her free time when he can.
Hmmm. We then went home, slept, and me and Beau left to Sharon Springs and I just slept while my cats frittered. It’s been pretty uneventful since then. So, I’m just gonna go to sleep.
Before I go I do want to say one thing. I do feel a little depressed about leaving. But that’s simply the inevitable.
Dec 19, 2006 8:44 AM
My last entry was before my departure, a few good months ago. However I have recent entries in my Myspace Blog, which I should transfer over here. Well, life has simply gone on. I’ve felt depressed for a good week, and then I see Andrea’s picture and a feeling comes over me. That feeling was sort of a revelation. I realized that perhaps I’m living too much in the ethereal, connected to a phantom that isn’t completely there. There’s a presence in my mind that I feel strongly towards, that I desire more than anything. This phantom, while have a similar, overlapping mind and body to Andrea is not her. Much of it is added to, and therefore is a spiritual presence of it’s own, comprised of many of Andrea’s features. By keeping this in mind, I can recognize Andrea not as a greater entity, but rather as an equal. Sometimes mulling over these things, though, places me back in a position to forget.
I’ve decided here forth that I shall aspire forth to reach my goals in life. I feel I’ve already made a few of those steps in the last twenty four hours by pushing myself harder, and father. I believe that it was instilled in my at a early age, by some one or something unknown to me, to become a great person. I’ve never really had a super hero, all my super heroes were created in my imagination, set by standards I had set myself. How I’ve grown the way I have is beyond me.
I believe it has set me apart in many ways, but at the same time it has created something inside me that will last forever. This part of me will allow me to become a great person in my life, one who will never give up or settle for less. I hope though that this beginning doesn’t meet a short end in the time that follows this entry. I hope that I go strong and push forward. This is for myself, and for no one else. I know if I want to be with Andrea or someone equal in my mind to her than I must reach a level of greatness not found in many others. Greatness in character as much as status. This is something I want, and is for no single person other than myself. People like Andrea exist, and they come and go, though sparingly. I must make myself a great person if I am to fall in love with one.