the break up
Yesterday I broke up with Mike. I'm not sure I've ever felt this way before. I still talk to him more than I do to any one else. So it's hardly a break up. I feel like we're still emotionally entwined. The only difference is that I kissed him on the cheek when he left after lunch today instead of on the mouth. It's weird. He even humped my leg once (if you know Mike, that's normal). I don't even remember being single. What do we do now? I feel like I need to go out and make out with a stranger, even though when I was single I hardly ever did that. It just doesn't feel official. We were best friends before dating so going back to best friends should be the natural progression. Right? Maybe a break-up party, where I invite all my single friends and we talk about how much better off I am? Maybe if we had those sort of things for breaking up with your first love people may get over them better. Like w/ graduation, we could have a ceremony, with a 3rd party asking us if this is what we really want, and then a cordial hand shake, followed by exchanging cardboard boxes filled with everything we need to give back. Then a small child could hang himself from the ceiling, in reverence to cupid making a mistake.
But really, I think I just needed a big blow out fight to make it feel done. I actually had to dump him twice. The first time I did was in between two throw up sessions, his not mine. He had too much to drink. This was at 6 am. Then at 2pm, after going to the computer lab to do a project, I came back to my room, where he was still sleeping, I had to dump him again. So, I broke his heart twice. But nicely. I didn't yell or throw anything. I just said, "I don't think we should date anymore." He left at 4pm. I know there are gaps missing but I'll keep them to myself b/c I don't want to disrespect him.
But really, I think I just needed a big blow out fight to make it feel done. I actually had to dump him twice. The first time I did was in between two throw up sessions, his not mine. He had too much to drink. This was at 6 am. Then at 2pm, after going to the computer lab to do a project, I came back to my room, where he was still sleeping, I had to dump him again. So, I broke his heart twice. But nicely. I didn't yell or throw anything. I just said, "I don't think we should date anymore." He left at 4pm. I know there are gaps missing but I'll keep them to myself b/c I don't want to disrespect him.