VI
Hmm... An election, huh? Well, you whippersnappers, I'll have you know old Grandpa Rome had his republic days, and he hasn't forgotten the old art of campaigning! It's time I threw my hat in the ring for... whatever it is we're voting on!
Looks like I have some pamphlets to write~
[Rome sets down to work, neatly writing up an "informational" 20-page pamphlet displaying his finer qualities and wanton hatred for the letter U.]
[The first page:]
VI REASONS YOU SHOVLD VOTE FOR ROME:
I. HE IS VERY HANDSOME
II. HE HAS EXPERIENCE IN MATTERS OF POLITICS, WARFARE, DOMESTIC POLICY, AND GETTING IT ON WITH ALL THE LADIES
III. HE IS THE GREATEST
IV. HE WILL NOT PERMIT THE GRATVITOUS EXPLODING OF POPVLAR FINE ART
V. HE ROSE VP FROM A SIMPLE AGRICVLTVRAL VILLAGE TO SPEND CENTVRIES AS THE DOMINANT RVLING POWER OF THE MEDITERRANEAN. AFTER SYSTEMATICALLY CRVSHING ALL OF HIS ENEMIES DESPITE OVERWHELMING ODDS, HE SINGLE-HANDEDLY PLANTED THE SEEDS OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION ACROSS EVROPE, AFRICA AND THE MIDDLE EAST. DESPITE HIS OWN PASSING, HIS CONTRIBVTIONS TO FIELDS RANGING FROM ART TO SCIENCE TO POLITICS SERVED AS THE FOVNDATION FOR THE MODERN WORLD AS YOV KNOW IT, AND HIS ACTIONS CONTINVE TO INFLVENCE YOV EVEN TODAY
VI. HE CAN BENCH-PRESS LIKE TWENTY ELEPHANTS
[The remaining nineteen pages are filled with nothing but Rome posing, mostly shirtless and flexing. There is literally nothing else.]
Dohohohoho~ This should be perfect! Hmm, now I just need to finish it with a snappy witticism!
VOTE ROME...
Now then, what next? Hmhmhm...
[Rome knows this needs to be important. The way he finishes this sentence will speak volumes about what kind of leader he is, about what kind of candidate he is, about what kind of man he is. "Vote Rome or Stay Home", perhaps? No, no, that's not nearly enough. What he puts here will be the defining moment of campaign; it will tell people everything there is to know about Rome. He has to go with his gut!
Seen in that light, there's really only one thing to write down.]
...OR ELSE.
[These pamphlets will now be found in all of your mailboxes. England and Germany will receive fifty each.]
Looks like I have some pamphlets to write~
[Rome sets down to work, neatly writing up an "informational" 20-page pamphlet displaying his finer qualities and wanton hatred for the letter U.]
[The first page:]
VI REASONS YOU SHOVLD VOTE FOR ROME:
I. HE IS VERY HANDSOME
II. HE HAS EXPERIENCE IN MATTERS OF POLITICS, WARFARE, DOMESTIC POLICY, AND GETTING IT ON WITH ALL THE LADIES
III. HE IS THE GREATEST
IV. HE WILL NOT PERMIT THE GRATVITOUS EXPLODING OF POPVLAR FINE ART
V. HE ROSE VP FROM A SIMPLE AGRICVLTVRAL VILLAGE TO SPEND CENTVRIES AS THE DOMINANT RVLING POWER OF THE MEDITERRANEAN. AFTER SYSTEMATICALLY CRVSHING ALL OF HIS ENEMIES DESPITE OVERWHELMING ODDS, HE SINGLE-HANDEDLY PLANTED THE SEEDS OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION ACROSS EVROPE, AFRICA AND THE MIDDLE EAST. DESPITE HIS OWN PASSING, HIS CONTRIBVTIONS TO FIELDS RANGING FROM ART TO SCIENCE TO POLITICS SERVED AS THE FOVNDATION FOR THE MODERN WORLD AS YOV KNOW IT, AND HIS ACTIONS CONTINVE TO INFLVENCE YOV EVEN TODAY
VI. HE CAN BENCH-PRESS LIKE TWENTY ELEPHANTS
[The remaining nineteen pages are filled with nothing but Rome posing, mostly shirtless and flexing. There is literally nothing else.]
Dohohohoho~ This should be perfect! Hmm, now I just need to finish it with a snappy witticism!
VOTE ROME...
Now then, what next? Hmhmhm...
[Rome knows this needs to be important. The way he finishes this sentence will speak volumes about what kind of leader he is, about what kind of candidate he is, about what kind of man he is. "Vote Rome or Stay Home", perhaps? No, no, that's not nearly enough. What he puts here will be the defining moment of campaign; it will tell people everything there is to know about Rome. He has to go with his gut!
Seen in that light, there's really only one thing to write down.]
...OR ELSE.
[These pamphlets will now be found in all of your mailboxes. England and Germany will receive fifty each.]