A little venting for myself
just an update on my life is all.
I've been pretty busy working two jobs that have me on the brinks of death.I"ve finally decided to give up one for the time being.I can't do this plus i have a few health problems which i need to deal with.I barely eat and i'm about 130.I"ve had lots of personal drama,but i just feel like everything is coming to place.Today was my last day and got off early from work at my job.NEED TIME OFF!
My apt looks like my mother's old place now wtf.I go away to larammie's for the weekend and omg she felt the need to decorate..........THE WHOLE FUCKING PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!(lmfao i don't know why i'm complaining really. In the whole fucking time i've been at my new place,i haven't bought much furniture or even decorated any of my walls.lol)well my mommy has been having some money problems. I've taken her in for the time being which means sister is also here.oh god in a way it's annoying like hell,but it feels good to not be alone all the time.plus she cooks for me hahahaha.k moving on this is retarded.
My love life has taken a huge turn.For the longest time,Jamie was all i could ever think of and dream of being with,but it's all there was....dreaming.She lives too far away and as much as it hurt at first to let go,i just felt like it was best for both of us.I think it was hurting both of us more to keep it going.It had gotten to the point whereshe would be in tears alot because it wasn't a realization.i love jamie,but i love her too much for her to be hurting because we aren't together.I just want her to be happy and if she finds it with another guy there,at least she is happy.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OH OH This month marks my 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY on being clean. I have not done a fucking drug in one year.I feel accomplished and content with myself. I honestly thought i wouldn't make it and i would just give in like i always had,but just...wow.I'm in awe of myself i guess *brig fat grin. I need to treat myself to a milkshake or something.NO ONE has even realised it's been one yr now;not even my mother or sister.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm seeing a special someone right now. Her name is Laramie and she is an amazing person and has opened my eyes again to things i had kept locked in.She just makes me feel fluttery and special.if any of you have ever read my journal or even talked to me,you would know that i'm not one to think this,but when i'm with her,i feel like i am.I am a little skeptic ...just a little i have to admmit. i don't even know why i do this to myself. I usually end up being in 3 month relationships because the person tends to get overly jealous or starts to bore me.She hasn't bored me yet,but ok IT'S embarking on 3 month territory aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.lol i'm such a retard.It's going great so i should shut the fuck up to myself.I love this girl;she makes me eat hahaha.
picture update lol
for those of you wondering who Laramie is.....
LMFAO
*MAUHS*
I've been pretty busy working two jobs that have me on the brinks of death.I"ve finally decided to give up one for the time being.I can't do this plus i have a few health problems which i need to deal with.I barely eat and i'm about 130.I"ve had lots of personal drama,but i just feel like everything is coming to place.Today was my last day and got off early from work at my job.NEED TIME OFF!
My apt looks like my mother's old place now wtf.I go away to larammie's for the weekend and omg she felt the need to decorate..........THE WHOLE FUCKING PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!(lmfao i don't know why i'm complaining really. In the whole fucking time i've been at my new place,i haven't bought much furniture or even decorated any of my walls.lol)well my mommy has been having some money problems. I've taken her in for the time being which means sister is also here.oh god in a way it's annoying like hell,but it feels good to not be alone all the time.plus she cooks for me hahahaha.k moving on this is retarded.
My love life has taken a huge turn.For the longest time,Jamie was all i could ever think of and dream of being with,but it's all there was....dreaming.She lives too far away and as much as it hurt at first to let go,i just felt like it was best for both of us.I think it was hurting both of us more to keep it going.It had gotten to the point whereshe would be in tears alot because it wasn't a realization.i love jamie,but i love her too much for her to be hurting because we aren't together.I just want her to be happy and if she finds it with another guy there,at least she is happy.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OH OH This month marks my 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY on being clean. I have not done a fucking drug in one year.I feel accomplished and content with myself. I honestly thought i wouldn't make it and i would just give in like i always had,but just...wow.I'm in awe of myself i guess *brig fat grin. I need to treat myself to a milkshake or something.NO ONE has even realised it's been one yr now;not even my mother or sister.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm seeing a special someone right now. Her name is Laramie and she is an amazing person and has opened my eyes again to things i had kept locked in.She just makes me feel fluttery and special.if any of you have ever read my journal or even talked to me,you would know that i'm not one to think this,but when i'm with her,i feel like i am.I am a little skeptic ...just a little i have to admmit. i don't even know why i do this to myself. I usually end up being in 3 month relationships because the person tends to get overly jealous or starts to bore me.She hasn't bored me yet,but ok IT'S embarking on 3 month territory aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.lol i'm such a retard.It's going great so i should shut the fuck up to myself.I love this girl;she makes me eat hahaha.
picture update lol
for those of you wondering who Laramie is.....
LMFAO
*MAUHS*