FIC - Shipwrecked - Lost... but found (3/3)
Title: Shipwrecked - Lost... but found (3/3)
Author/Artist: Wheelie47
Beta: Valenti1965 - thanks for your support and encouragement, Louise!
Rating: NC17 (eventually)
Disclaimer: Don't own the boys!
Characters/Pairings: Van and Jake (JANSIS)
Word Count: approx 10,500 (in total)
Warnings: A little bit of angst.
Summary: Van and Jake are shipwrecked on a desert island. Told from Jake’s POV.
Author’s Notes: There are no significant others in this fic; Van and Jake are both single.
Link to Master Post and art: Here!
Original Prompt: #12 - "Castaway" inspired. They are shipwrecked on a desert island.
Written for Summerfest 2013 over on nukebigbang
Chapter 3
As soon as Van’s calls died away and Jake realized that the man wasn’t going to come racing down the beach after him, he slowed his pace a little.
The moonlight was just strong enough for him to pick his way along the shore, his bare feet kicking at the sand in frustration and annoyance with himself as he walked.
What had he been thinking?!
Oh, that’s right! He hadn’t been thinking. Not with his brain, anyway.
Why would he think that Van would want him? The blonde had never shown any interest in him in that way before.
They were - and always would be - friends. Nothing more… nothing less.
That was until just when Jake had fucked it all up.
Could they even be friends again after this?
Jake knew he couldn’t stay out here in the dark all night. He had to go back to the fire and the shelter… and face Van eventually.
But right now he just wanted to stay here alone and avoid thinking about the look of complete and utter shock on Van’s face.
Where now? What would happen next?
Lost in his thoughts and not really paying attention to where he was walking, Jake suddenly found himself stepping onto the sharp rocks at the far end of the beach.
“Shit!”
Jake squinted in the moonlight and he could just about make out the reflective slivery surfaces of a collection of rock pools. But something didn’t seem right. The surfaces looked like they were moving.
Taking a cautious step closer, Jake realized he was actually seeing a writhing mass of snakes, performing an intricate dance around one another.
Had the kraits come onto the beach to mate?
Fascinated, Jake momentarily forgot his earlier fear and took another step closer to get a better look. He realized too late that the movement brought him into close contact with a pair of writhing snakes right by his left foot.
He froze in panic.
What should he do? Should he keep still, hoping they would ignore him? Or should he try to take a step backward?
Suddenly Jake felt a hand grip his shoulder, pulling him backward. At the same time he became aware of an intense heat flashing past his ankle.
Looking down, he saw a burning torching being aimed at the snakes, making them slither away from the flame.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Silbermann! What is it with you and snakes?!” Van asked as he pulled Jake toward him and off of the rocks.
“Come on,” Van continued as he released his hold on Jake and turned back toward their camp.
Neither man talked or even looked at each other as they walked, side-by-side, back along the beach and Jake felt the tension between them.
When they finally reached the circle of light created by the fire, Van gestured for Jake to sit.
Nervously wondering where this was going, Jake sat crossed legged on the sand, his bare feet peeking out from under his knees.
Van took the snake from off the spit over the fire, picking at the burnt bits. “Want some?” he asked and Jake could hear there was a nervous edge to Van’s voice.
Jake shook his head, risking a quick look up at the blonde before dropping his gaze again. “Not really hungry. Thanks though,” he added as an afterthought.
“Yeah, maybe later. It doesn’t look that appealing,” Van chuckled uneasily as he stuck the end of the wooden spit into the sand.
He sat down in front of Jake, his posture mirroring Jake’s right down to tucking his bare feet under his knees.
Jake looked over at the man sat opposite him, avoiding eye contact but concentrating instead on just how close their knees were from touching. Almost… but not quite. He had the sudden urge to reach out and let his fingers wander over the bare flesh of Van’s ankle. He could almost imagine how the skin would feel against his fingers as they explored further up under Van’s pant leg, curling around his lower leg and brushing against the soft dusting of hair.
He clenched his fists tightly to stop himself responding to the need.
“You never asked me.” Van’s statement cut through Jake’s thoughts and his head shot up at the words.
“I… I’m sorry, Van. I shouldn’t have kissed you without asking. That was wrong. It’s just that I…”
Van held up his hand. “You know what, Jake? You’re right, you shouldn’t have. But that’s not what I meant.”
“Then what?” What the hell was the other man talking about?
“You never asked me why I came back,” Van explained as he looked intently at Jake.
“Came back where?” Jake was utterly confused.
“To New York. You never asked me why I came back to New York.”
Jake shrugged. He’d never asked Van why he’d come back, Jake had just been happy that he had. Having Van in the same State and not on the other side of the country at least made it easier for Jake to see him. But seeing the blonde again also made him painfully aware of how much he wanted the other man. At least when they’d had the whole country in-between them, Jake hadn’t been regularly reminded of wanting what he couldn’t have. But that hadn’t stopped his thoughts from tormenting him with ‘what if’ scenarios of him and Van together.
He let out a small sigh and dropped his gaze again. “I just figured it was for work… and maybe to be closer to your family.” Jake knew how much being close to his family meant to Van but oh how he wished Van had come back because of him.
In his heart, Jake knew he hadn’t asked because he didn’t want to hear that he wasn’t the reason.
“Ask me.”
“Huh?” He didn’t want to play this game.
Van reached out and pressed his fingers to the underside of Jake’s chin, applying gentle pressure to get him to raise his head again.
“Ask me, Jake. Ask me why I came back to New York,” Van commanded, not letting go of his hold on Jake.
Jake thought he saw a flash of something in Van’s eyes. A something that made him sit up a little straighter and pay more attention.
“Why?” he murmured, his voice barely audible. A part of him was desperate to know the answer but another part of him was preparing to shield himself against the pain of the reply.
“Don’t you know?”
“Tell me, Van.” Jake leaned in closer, letting his chin sink further into Van’s touch.
He watched Van swallow hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, before opening his mouth to reply. Jake saw the word form on the blonde’s supple bow-shaped lips more than he actually heard the whispered sound itself.
“You.”
Dazed, Jake couldn’t believe what he thought he’d heard. He? He was the reason Van had come back?
Holding his breath, he nodded for Van to continue.
The blonde gave a quick nervous smile before opening his mouth to speak again. “I thought being in L.A. - the distance between us - would help with… with the…” he gulped, “… want. But it didn’t. The only thing I could think about when I wasn’t working was you. I had to come back, Jake. Had to be around you. But when I saw you again. When I saw your face.” Van paused to trace his fingers along Jake’s jaw, making him shiver at the touch. “It was too much… wanting you but knowing I couldn’t have you. I couldn’t concentrate on anything else.”
“But you agreed to come away with me?” Jake was confused.
Van shrugged with a wry smile. “What can I say? My head doesn’t always know what’s good for me. Either that or you can be very persuasive!”
“You never said anything. Never gave me any idea you felt the same.”
“Why do you think I acted so crazy when I thought you almost died? But neither did you.” Van shot back. “And I always thought you were straight. What would’ve been the point?”
“I never said I was. Not completely.”
“You never said you weren’t! And what does that even mean?!”
Jake opened his mouth to shoot back a response but then snapped it shut. He wanted Van and Van wanted him. Why were they wasting time arguing when they could be doing other things?
“We’re pretty dumb, aren’t we?” He moved closer to Van.
“The dumbest!” Van agreed with a vigorous nod and a wide grin as he mirrored Jake’s movement.
“Um, Van?” Jake asked with a murmur when they were barely inches apart. His hand came up to caress the other man’s cheek.
“Huh?”
“Can I kiss you now?”
“You fucking well better!” Van exclaimed just seconds before his lips were on Jake’s.
It occurred to Jake - somewhere at the back of his mind - that technically it was Van that was kissing him. But he didn’t care, not enough to stop anyway. Just as long as Van kept those lips on his.
Because, damn, this guy knew how to use his mouth!
This was nothing like the kisses they had shared as Luke and Noah.
This was an open-mouthed, clashing of teeth and battling of tongues kind of kiss that had the both of them pulling apart and gasping for breath before taking a needy look at each other and immediately diving back in for more.
Jake couldn’t keep his hands of Van. They roamed everywhere; grasping in his hair, spreading over his back and down to the curve of his ass before coming back up and cupping the side of his face, tilting Van’s head for a better angle. And then they began the cycle all over again. It was as if they had a will of their own and were making up for lost time, mapping out every part of Van they could reach.
But Jake wasn’t on his own. Van matched him with his own equally wandering hands.
Hands that Jake desperately wanted to feel on a certain part of his anatomy. A part of his anatomy that was increasingly sitting up and taking notice, begging Jake for attention.
“Van! Want you… want this,” Jake groaned against Van’s lips as he pushed the man backward onto the sand.
Without a moment’s hesitation, not even stopping to admire the sight of a kissed- flushed Van stretched out in front of him, Jake draped his long body over Van’s.
Their hips and groins seemed to fit together perfectly and Jake gasped to feel the semi-hardness of Van’s cock against his own. The heat of it through the material of his shorts had him shifting his hands to Van’s hips, holding him in place as he ground his hips downward and his mouth sought out those full lips again.
“Jake!” Van gasped and pushed up against his chest.
Was Van putting the brakes on?
He lifted up onto his arms, putting a sliver of a distance between their bodies to look down at the blonde. “Van? What’s wrong?”
Van grimaced slightly in pain as his hand moved to his side. “Nothing. It’s just this position kinda hurts a little.”
“Shit! Sorry.” Jake immediately shifted and carefully rolled them so he was now on his back in the sand.
“Better. Much better.” Van grinned at him before leaning down and kissing him hard, hands moving to fist in his hair.
Hmmm! So Van likes to be in control? Figures! But Jake really didn’t care. There was always next time. Or the time after that. It was all good… as long as he got to do this with Van.
He groaned loudly as one of Van’s hands released its hold in his hair, trailed down his torso - pausing to tweak a nipple hard - and palmed his hard-on, making Jake buck his hips up against Van.
Van pulled back, his teeth tugging on Jake’s bottom lip sensuously before letting it spring free. He sat back on his heels and looked down at Jake, cocking his head to stare at him intently as his fingers slipped underneath the open folds of Jake’s shirt to caress his taut muscled torso through the material of his tight white T-shirt.
“Have you ever done this before? With a guy, I mean?” he asked a little breathlessly.
“Van!” Jake whined. They were stopping again?! Jake swore to God he might just have to get up and kick something in frustration. “You want to do this now?!”
“Have you?”
Jake dropped his head back onto the sand and groaned loudly, his hands falling from Van’s hips to fling out in exasperation. “Yes… once or twice.” He certainly wasn’t going to tell Van that the guys he found himself wanting to hook up with of late were all of a certain type - blonde and with a dimpled smile.
Van placed both hands on Jake’s chest and leaned down closer. “How many times is that exactly? Just twice or more?”
Jake craned his neck up to stare at Van. “Are you jealous, Van? Jealous of guys you don’t even know? Oh my god! You are, aren’t you?”
The other man looked away, not able to meet his gaze. “No! Maybe. Yes,” he almost mumbled the last word.
Jake was shocked but kind of amazed that Van felt that way… that he could create such a feeling in the other man. He reached out and gently but insistently applied pressure to the side of Van’s face to get him to face forward again.
“The past - neither mine nor yours - matters now, Van. It’s what happens here and now that’s important. That… and the future.” As he spoke quietly and sincerely he brought his other hand up to cover Van’s chest over his heart.
Van stared back at him and nodded slowly; Jake’s words appearing to sink in.
“Now stop being a fucking idiot and kiss me again already!” He moved his hand to behind Van’s neck and pulled him eagerly down, grinning as the other man came easily.
Their mouths moved hungrily against each other and stubble rasped against stubble.
Within breathless seconds both men were rutting against each other, seeking friction.
Jake traced both his hands over Van’s back, right to the curve of his ass and pressed down hard. The movement seemed to kick the other man into overdrive, making him writhe against Jake.
“Fuck, Jake. You’re making me so hard… so fucking hard. Feel what you’re doing to me.” He rotated his hips and bit down on Jake’s chin.
Through the haze of his lust, Jake couldn’t help but chuckle. Van was a talker. Who knew?!
The chuckle died on his lips when Van’s hand slid between their bodies and down to Jake’s shorts, fumbling with his zip before freeing his aching cock.
The feel of Van’s hand on his bare flesh as the man’s long and slim fingers curled around his girth had Jake groaning loudly and arching up off the sand.
Van’s free hand slipped into his shorts and pulled his balls free too, massaging them against his palm.
“Fuck, Van!”
“Like that? Do you like what I’m doing to you, Jake?” Van smirked down at Jake who was watching him through half-lidded eyes.
He could only nod, open-mouthed, as Van moved awkwardly down his body, trying not to let go of his hold on Jake while favoring his injured side.
When he reached his destination, Van glanced up the length of Jake’s torso and held his gaze as he opened his mouth to engulf the tip of Jake’s cock.
Jake wanted to watch… so fucking much. But the feel of Van’s tongue as it flicked its way around his leaking tip and the moist heat of Van’s mouth surrounding him had Jake’s eyelids fluttering closed in ecstasy. And when the man moved to lick down his shaft, Jake’s hands couldn’t help but come up to fist in the blonde hair, tugging slightly and making Van hum around his length.
As much as Jake wanted Van to continue, he knew that if he did this would all be over way too soon and he hadn’t even had the chance to see or touch Van yet.
“Van!” Jake whispered urgently as he opened his eyes and pulled harder on the man’s hair. “You have to stop!”
Van looked up at him, a questioning frown forming on his face. He let his jaw slacken and Jake dropped from his mouth with a loud pop.
“What’s wrong?”
Jake had to swallow hard to find his voice before speaking as he was fixated by Van’s slick and stretched lips. “Nothing. Just need you up here.” His hands moved to Van’s shoulders and he tugged the man upward until he sat with his knees either side of Jake’s chest.
When Van sat back on his heels, he trapped Jake’s hard and sensitive cock between his clothed ass cheeks, making Jake moan and buck his hips at the feel of the rough material against his bare skin.
The movement brought Van’s groin closer to Jake and his fingers reached out to fumble at the zipper. “Ha!” he puffed out a breath of satisfaction when he finally released Van’s hard-on.
The groan of approval from above as he eagerly took Van’s length in his hand made him look up and he found himself staring into darkened orbs full of want and need.
“Take me in your mouth, Jake.”
Jake didn’t need asking twice. He’d been imagining this moment for such a long time now.
He opened his jaw and stretched his lips over Van’s cock, flicking his tongue around the crown. Oh yeah! This was definitely something he wanted to do with Van again and again… and everything else too. He wanted it all.
Using his tongue, lips and - where his mouth couldn’t reach - his hand, he soon had the blonde groaning and bucking wildly into his mouth and he had to bring his other hand up to grasp Van’s hip to slow him down a little.
Soon Van’s rhythm began to stutter and jerk a little before Jake felt him pull back, grasping him by the shoulder.
It was his turn to look at the other man and question why they were stopping.
“Want… want to come together,” Van gasped in reply.
The blonde pulled himself free and scooted back down Jake’s torso, creating an intense friction over his cock, making him groan out loud.
Jake looked on, his breath coming in short gasps, as Van sensuously licked his palm before lining his cock up against the underside of Jake’s. His gaze never left Jake’s as he curled his fist around their flesh, his fingers stretching to accommodate the girth.
Jake could feel every vein and ridge of Van’s cock against his own sensitive flesh. The feel of Van working his hand on his cock and the friction of their hardened lengths sliding together was mind-blowing and closed in on Jake until his world consisted of only that sensation and the erotic, open-mouthed look on Van’s face.
He simply had to touch the other man. Reaching between them, he curled his own fingers over Van’s, matching every twist and pull.
The movement seemed to kick Van up another gear. He leaned forward and captured Jake’s lips in a hungry and hard kiss.
“Come with me, Jake. Come now!” Van murmured against Jake’s kiss-slicked lips.
And that was it; he couldn’t resist the breathless command. Jake jerked his hips upward one last time as the white heat of his climax overwhelmed him.
Later - much later - they would laugh in embarrassment at how quickly they had come in a fumble of hands and eager mouths. But that didn’t matter right now. The opportunity to explore each other’s bodies and what they liked would come in time.
“Oops!” A breathless and flushed Van exclaimed with a giggle when he looked down and saw the mess they had made over each other.
Jake couldn’t help but chuckle in response. He felt light - lighter and happier than he had in a long time. Shrugging out of his shirt, he used the edge to clean them up as best he could. He would wash it out in the morning.
Van kissed Jake’s spent cock before gently tucking him back into his shorts.
Jake gently, almost reverently, returned the gesture and pulled the blonde down on top of him for another kiss - a sweeter, slower kiss this time.
He pouted a little when Van slipped out of his embrace and pulled on his shoulder to get him to turn on his side. But the smile returned to his lips as the blonde scooted in behind him and brought his arm around to rest his hand flat on Jake’s stomach.
Jake could hear and feel the change in Van’s breathing. “Hey,” he murmured as he nudged back against Van. “We should take turns in keeping watch. You know, just in case some of those snakes move further down the beach or if there are other little surprises lying in wait for us?” They really had no idea what was on the rest of the island.
“’K,” Van mumbled, his head nodding lazily against Jake’s back. “Just need a little nap first.”
A few minutes couldn’t hurt, surely? A nap sounded so good. Jake knew also that the two of them should talk… about a lot of things… but his own eyelids seemed to be closing of their own accord and it did feel kinda nice to be lying here in Van’s arms. He brought his own hand up to cover Van’s, interlocking their fingers.
Jake was on the very cusp of sleep when Van murmured against the skin of his neck. “I love you, Jake.”
He had wanted to hear those words fall from Van’s lips for such a long time now. His smile widened into a happy grin just as a contented sleep claimed him.
~~~~~
When Jake came to, something didn’t feel right. Yes, Van was still snuggled up against his back and breathing deeply, small snores escaping his lips occasionally. But there was too much light filtering through his closed eyelids and it was way too hot, even for a South Pacific night.
Opening his eyes and jerking upright, Jake found himself squinting against the morning sun as he looked out across the beach. They had slept the whole night! Looking quickly about him, he discovered there was nothing amiss. They hadn’t been attacked or crept up on in the night; the fire going out was about the only bad thing to have happened.
“Jake!” Van moaned, pulling on Jake’s hip. “Come back down. Come back to sleep.”
Relieved that everything was OK, he shrugged and lay back down next to Van.
The man’s arm immediately came back around Jake’s hip, fingers dipping under the hem of his white T-shirt and tracing meaningless patterns in the trail of hair leading down to his shorts.
“Mmm… better.”
Jake scooted back into Van’s chest. “We’ve slept all night. We should have been taking it in turns to keep watch.”
Van huffed against Jake’s neck. “I was keeping watch! I was watching your back. And a mighty fine back it is too.” He chuckled at his own joke.
Jake rolled his eyes and groaned as he turned to face Van.
“Now that is an even better view. I’d much rather keep watch on that.” Van grinned as he gently scratched his fingers across the dark stubble on Jake’s jaw.
“Jerk!” But Jake couldn’t help grinning back at Van when he saw the man’s half-awake eyes gazing at him lovingly.
He brushed an errant strand of Van’s hair behind his ear before leaning in for a kiss.
As the blonde brought his hands to cup his face and deepen the kiss, Jake thought he heard something off in the distance.
He pulled back far enough to look at Van. “What was that?”
Van shrugged. “I didn’t hear anything. Probably just birds or something.” He pulled Jake back toward him.
There it was again.
“That wasn’t birds. That was an outboard motor!” Jake exclaimed as he struggled to his feet.
Shading his eyes against the sun, he saw it. There was a small boat some distance off the shore.
Jake pulled Van to his feet, careful of his injured side. “It’s a boat, Van! We’re saved!”
Letting go of the other man, he scrambled to the survival kit, rummaging around for a flare.
Jake set off the flare and both men began waving and shouting.
“She’s turning, Van. She’s seen us!” He grasped the blonde by the shoulders. “Everything’s gonna be OK.”
Jake pressed a quick kiss to Van’s lips before turning and watching the boat motor closer to the shore.
When he turned back to face the other man, he was surprised to see that he’d turned his back on the boat and had his arms folded protectively across himself.
Jake laid a hand on Van’s back and was shocked to see him flinch and pull away. “What is it?”
“Is everything gonna be OK, Jake?” Van asked without turning around. “Did you mean everything last night? Or was it… like… any port in a storm?”
Anger flared in Jake. Did Van think last night meant nothing to him? “Is that what you think of me?”
He took a step closer and grasped Van’s shoulder, turning him roughly around.
Jake was about to fire off another angry question but was stopped in his tracks by the genuine look of worry and fear on Van’s face. His thought processes played openly across his face. Jake knew Van was thinking about what would happen now - when they returned to their lives in New York. Jake had to admit he was a little nervous too but he was determined and knew what he wanted - a life with Van… or the chance of one, at least.
He pulled the man to him, hugging him tightly and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I swear to you, Van, I meant every single thing last night. I wouldn’t change it for the world… except for the snakes, maybe. ”
Jake leant back in the embrace but only far enough to look into the green-flecked hazel. “I love you, Van. Have for a long time now. I should have told you that last night. You have to believe me. We’ll make it work, OK?”
Van must’ve seen something in Jake’s eyes that convinced him because he nodded slowly, a smile spreading across his lips.
Jake smiled back and released his hold on the blonde.
As they both turned to face the oncoming boat and their future, Jake reached down and slid his palm against Van’s, interlacing their fingers and giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.
Everything was going to be OK.
The End
Author/Artist: Wheelie47
Beta: Valenti1965 - thanks for your support and encouragement, Louise!
Rating: NC17 (eventually)
Disclaimer: Don't own the boys!
Characters/Pairings: Van and Jake (JANSIS)
Word Count: approx 10,500 (in total)
Warnings: A little bit of angst.
Summary: Van and Jake are shipwrecked on a desert island. Told from Jake’s POV.
Author’s Notes: There are no significant others in this fic; Van and Jake are both single.
Link to Master Post and art: Here!
Original Prompt: #12 - "Castaway" inspired. They are shipwrecked on a desert island.
Written for Summerfest 2013 over on nukebigbang
Chapter 3
As soon as Van’s calls died away and Jake realized that the man wasn’t going to come racing down the beach after him, he slowed his pace a little.
The moonlight was just strong enough for him to pick his way along the shore, his bare feet kicking at the sand in frustration and annoyance with himself as he walked.
What had he been thinking?!
Oh, that’s right! He hadn’t been thinking. Not with his brain, anyway.
Why would he think that Van would want him? The blonde had never shown any interest in him in that way before.
They were - and always would be - friends. Nothing more… nothing less.
That was until just when Jake had fucked it all up.
Could they even be friends again after this?
Jake knew he couldn’t stay out here in the dark all night. He had to go back to the fire and the shelter… and face Van eventually.
But right now he just wanted to stay here alone and avoid thinking about the look of complete and utter shock on Van’s face.
Where now? What would happen next?
Lost in his thoughts and not really paying attention to where he was walking, Jake suddenly found himself stepping onto the sharp rocks at the far end of the beach.
“Shit!”
Jake squinted in the moonlight and he could just about make out the reflective slivery surfaces of a collection of rock pools. But something didn’t seem right. The surfaces looked like they were moving.
Taking a cautious step closer, Jake realized he was actually seeing a writhing mass of snakes, performing an intricate dance around one another.
Had the kraits come onto the beach to mate?
Fascinated, Jake momentarily forgot his earlier fear and took another step closer to get a better look. He realized too late that the movement brought him into close contact with a pair of writhing snakes right by his left foot.
He froze in panic.
What should he do? Should he keep still, hoping they would ignore him? Or should he try to take a step backward?
Suddenly Jake felt a hand grip his shoulder, pulling him backward. At the same time he became aware of an intense heat flashing past his ankle.
Looking down, he saw a burning torching being aimed at the snakes, making them slither away from the flame.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Silbermann! What is it with you and snakes?!” Van asked as he pulled Jake toward him and off of the rocks.
“Come on,” Van continued as he released his hold on Jake and turned back toward their camp.
Neither man talked or even looked at each other as they walked, side-by-side, back along the beach and Jake felt the tension between them.
When they finally reached the circle of light created by the fire, Van gestured for Jake to sit.
Nervously wondering where this was going, Jake sat crossed legged on the sand, his bare feet peeking out from under his knees.
Van took the snake from off the spit over the fire, picking at the burnt bits. “Want some?” he asked and Jake could hear there was a nervous edge to Van’s voice.
Jake shook his head, risking a quick look up at the blonde before dropping his gaze again. “Not really hungry. Thanks though,” he added as an afterthought.
“Yeah, maybe later. It doesn’t look that appealing,” Van chuckled uneasily as he stuck the end of the wooden spit into the sand.
He sat down in front of Jake, his posture mirroring Jake’s right down to tucking his bare feet under his knees.
Jake looked over at the man sat opposite him, avoiding eye contact but concentrating instead on just how close their knees were from touching. Almost… but not quite. He had the sudden urge to reach out and let his fingers wander over the bare flesh of Van’s ankle. He could almost imagine how the skin would feel against his fingers as they explored further up under Van’s pant leg, curling around his lower leg and brushing against the soft dusting of hair.
He clenched his fists tightly to stop himself responding to the need.
“You never asked me.” Van’s statement cut through Jake’s thoughts and his head shot up at the words.
“I… I’m sorry, Van. I shouldn’t have kissed you without asking. That was wrong. It’s just that I…”
Van held up his hand. “You know what, Jake? You’re right, you shouldn’t have. But that’s not what I meant.”
“Then what?” What the hell was the other man talking about?
“You never asked me why I came back,” Van explained as he looked intently at Jake.
“Came back where?” Jake was utterly confused.
“To New York. You never asked me why I came back to New York.”
Jake shrugged. He’d never asked Van why he’d come back, Jake had just been happy that he had. Having Van in the same State and not on the other side of the country at least made it easier for Jake to see him. But seeing the blonde again also made him painfully aware of how much he wanted the other man. At least when they’d had the whole country in-between them, Jake hadn’t been regularly reminded of wanting what he couldn’t have. But that hadn’t stopped his thoughts from tormenting him with ‘what if’ scenarios of him and Van together.
He let out a small sigh and dropped his gaze again. “I just figured it was for work… and maybe to be closer to your family.” Jake knew how much being close to his family meant to Van but oh how he wished Van had come back because of him.
In his heart, Jake knew he hadn’t asked because he didn’t want to hear that he wasn’t the reason.
“Ask me.”
“Huh?” He didn’t want to play this game.
Van reached out and pressed his fingers to the underside of Jake’s chin, applying gentle pressure to get him to raise his head again.
“Ask me, Jake. Ask me why I came back to New York,” Van commanded, not letting go of his hold on Jake.
Jake thought he saw a flash of something in Van’s eyes. A something that made him sit up a little straighter and pay more attention.
“Why?” he murmured, his voice barely audible. A part of him was desperate to know the answer but another part of him was preparing to shield himself against the pain of the reply.
“Don’t you know?”
“Tell me, Van.” Jake leaned in closer, letting his chin sink further into Van’s touch.
He watched Van swallow hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, before opening his mouth to reply. Jake saw the word form on the blonde’s supple bow-shaped lips more than he actually heard the whispered sound itself.
“You.”
Dazed, Jake couldn’t believe what he thought he’d heard. He? He was the reason Van had come back?
Holding his breath, he nodded for Van to continue.
The blonde gave a quick nervous smile before opening his mouth to speak again. “I thought being in L.A. - the distance between us - would help with… with the…” he gulped, “… want. But it didn’t. The only thing I could think about when I wasn’t working was you. I had to come back, Jake. Had to be around you. But when I saw you again. When I saw your face.” Van paused to trace his fingers along Jake’s jaw, making him shiver at the touch. “It was too much… wanting you but knowing I couldn’t have you. I couldn’t concentrate on anything else.”
“But you agreed to come away with me?” Jake was confused.
Van shrugged with a wry smile. “What can I say? My head doesn’t always know what’s good for me. Either that or you can be very persuasive!”
“You never said anything. Never gave me any idea you felt the same.”
“Why do you think I acted so crazy when I thought you almost died? But neither did you.” Van shot back. “And I always thought you were straight. What would’ve been the point?”
“I never said I was. Not completely.”
“You never said you weren’t! And what does that even mean?!”
Jake opened his mouth to shoot back a response but then snapped it shut. He wanted Van and Van wanted him. Why were they wasting time arguing when they could be doing other things?
“We’re pretty dumb, aren’t we?” He moved closer to Van.
“The dumbest!” Van agreed with a vigorous nod and a wide grin as he mirrored Jake’s movement.
“Um, Van?” Jake asked with a murmur when they were barely inches apart. His hand came up to caress the other man’s cheek.
“Huh?”
“Can I kiss you now?”
“You fucking well better!” Van exclaimed just seconds before his lips were on Jake’s.
It occurred to Jake - somewhere at the back of his mind - that technically it was Van that was kissing him. But he didn’t care, not enough to stop anyway. Just as long as Van kept those lips on his.
Because, damn, this guy knew how to use his mouth!
This was nothing like the kisses they had shared as Luke and Noah.
This was an open-mouthed, clashing of teeth and battling of tongues kind of kiss that had the both of them pulling apart and gasping for breath before taking a needy look at each other and immediately diving back in for more.
Jake couldn’t keep his hands of Van. They roamed everywhere; grasping in his hair, spreading over his back and down to the curve of his ass before coming back up and cupping the side of his face, tilting Van’s head for a better angle. And then they began the cycle all over again. It was as if they had a will of their own and were making up for lost time, mapping out every part of Van they could reach.
But Jake wasn’t on his own. Van matched him with his own equally wandering hands.
Hands that Jake desperately wanted to feel on a certain part of his anatomy. A part of his anatomy that was increasingly sitting up and taking notice, begging Jake for attention.
“Van! Want you… want this,” Jake groaned against Van’s lips as he pushed the man backward onto the sand.
Without a moment’s hesitation, not even stopping to admire the sight of a kissed- flushed Van stretched out in front of him, Jake draped his long body over Van’s.
Their hips and groins seemed to fit together perfectly and Jake gasped to feel the semi-hardness of Van’s cock against his own. The heat of it through the material of his shorts had him shifting his hands to Van’s hips, holding him in place as he ground his hips downward and his mouth sought out those full lips again.
“Jake!” Van gasped and pushed up against his chest.
Was Van putting the brakes on?
He lifted up onto his arms, putting a sliver of a distance between their bodies to look down at the blonde. “Van? What’s wrong?”
Van grimaced slightly in pain as his hand moved to his side. “Nothing. It’s just this position kinda hurts a little.”
“Shit! Sorry.” Jake immediately shifted and carefully rolled them so he was now on his back in the sand.
“Better. Much better.” Van grinned at him before leaning down and kissing him hard, hands moving to fist in his hair.
Hmmm! So Van likes to be in control? Figures! But Jake really didn’t care. There was always next time. Or the time after that. It was all good… as long as he got to do this with Van.
He groaned loudly as one of Van’s hands released its hold in his hair, trailed down his torso - pausing to tweak a nipple hard - and palmed his hard-on, making Jake buck his hips up against Van.
Van pulled back, his teeth tugging on Jake’s bottom lip sensuously before letting it spring free. He sat back on his heels and looked down at Jake, cocking his head to stare at him intently as his fingers slipped underneath the open folds of Jake’s shirt to caress his taut muscled torso through the material of his tight white T-shirt.
“Have you ever done this before? With a guy, I mean?” he asked a little breathlessly.
“Van!” Jake whined. They were stopping again?! Jake swore to God he might just have to get up and kick something in frustration. “You want to do this now?!”
“Have you?”
Jake dropped his head back onto the sand and groaned loudly, his hands falling from Van’s hips to fling out in exasperation. “Yes… once or twice.” He certainly wasn’t going to tell Van that the guys he found himself wanting to hook up with of late were all of a certain type - blonde and with a dimpled smile.
Van placed both hands on Jake’s chest and leaned down closer. “How many times is that exactly? Just twice or more?”
Jake craned his neck up to stare at Van. “Are you jealous, Van? Jealous of guys you don’t even know? Oh my god! You are, aren’t you?”
The other man looked away, not able to meet his gaze. “No! Maybe. Yes,” he almost mumbled the last word.
Jake was shocked but kind of amazed that Van felt that way… that he could create such a feeling in the other man. He reached out and gently but insistently applied pressure to the side of Van’s face to get him to face forward again.
“The past - neither mine nor yours - matters now, Van. It’s what happens here and now that’s important. That… and the future.” As he spoke quietly and sincerely he brought his other hand up to cover Van’s chest over his heart.
Van stared back at him and nodded slowly; Jake’s words appearing to sink in.
“Now stop being a fucking idiot and kiss me again already!” He moved his hand to behind Van’s neck and pulled him eagerly down, grinning as the other man came easily.
Their mouths moved hungrily against each other and stubble rasped against stubble.
Within breathless seconds both men were rutting against each other, seeking friction.
Jake traced both his hands over Van’s back, right to the curve of his ass and pressed down hard. The movement seemed to kick the other man into overdrive, making him writhe against Jake.
“Fuck, Jake. You’re making me so hard… so fucking hard. Feel what you’re doing to me.” He rotated his hips and bit down on Jake’s chin.
Through the haze of his lust, Jake couldn’t help but chuckle. Van was a talker. Who knew?!
The chuckle died on his lips when Van’s hand slid between their bodies and down to Jake’s shorts, fumbling with his zip before freeing his aching cock.
The feel of Van’s hand on his bare flesh as the man’s long and slim fingers curled around his girth had Jake groaning loudly and arching up off the sand.
Van’s free hand slipped into his shorts and pulled his balls free too, massaging them against his palm.
“Fuck, Van!”
“Like that? Do you like what I’m doing to you, Jake?” Van smirked down at Jake who was watching him through half-lidded eyes.
He could only nod, open-mouthed, as Van moved awkwardly down his body, trying not to let go of his hold on Jake while favoring his injured side.
When he reached his destination, Van glanced up the length of Jake’s torso and held his gaze as he opened his mouth to engulf the tip of Jake’s cock.
Jake wanted to watch… so fucking much. But the feel of Van’s tongue as it flicked its way around his leaking tip and the moist heat of Van’s mouth surrounding him had Jake’s eyelids fluttering closed in ecstasy. And when the man moved to lick down his shaft, Jake’s hands couldn’t help but come up to fist in the blonde hair, tugging slightly and making Van hum around his length.
As much as Jake wanted Van to continue, he knew that if he did this would all be over way too soon and he hadn’t even had the chance to see or touch Van yet.
“Van!” Jake whispered urgently as he opened his eyes and pulled harder on the man’s hair. “You have to stop!”
Van looked up at him, a questioning frown forming on his face. He let his jaw slacken and Jake dropped from his mouth with a loud pop.
“What’s wrong?”
Jake had to swallow hard to find his voice before speaking as he was fixated by Van’s slick and stretched lips. “Nothing. Just need you up here.” His hands moved to Van’s shoulders and he tugged the man upward until he sat with his knees either side of Jake’s chest.
When Van sat back on his heels, he trapped Jake’s hard and sensitive cock between his clothed ass cheeks, making Jake moan and buck his hips at the feel of the rough material against his bare skin.
The movement brought Van’s groin closer to Jake and his fingers reached out to fumble at the zipper. “Ha!” he puffed out a breath of satisfaction when he finally released Van’s hard-on.
The groan of approval from above as he eagerly took Van’s length in his hand made him look up and he found himself staring into darkened orbs full of want and need.
“Take me in your mouth, Jake.”
Jake didn’t need asking twice. He’d been imagining this moment for such a long time now.
He opened his jaw and stretched his lips over Van’s cock, flicking his tongue around the crown. Oh yeah! This was definitely something he wanted to do with Van again and again… and everything else too. He wanted it all.
Using his tongue, lips and - where his mouth couldn’t reach - his hand, he soon had the blonde groaning and bucking wildly into his mouth and he had to bring his other hand up to grasp Van’s hip to slow him down a little.
Soon Van’s rhythm began to stutter and jerk a little before Jake felt him pull back, grasping him by the shoulder.
It was his turn to look at the other man and question why they were stopping.
“Want… want to come together,” Van gasped in reply.
The blonde pulled himself free and scooted back down Jake’s torso, creating an intense friction over his cock, making him groan out loud.
Jake looked on, his breath coming in short gasps, as Van sensuously licked his palm before lining his cock up against the underside of Jake’s. His gaze never left Jake’s as he curled his fist around their flesh, his fingers stretching to accommodate the girth.
Jake could feel every vein and ridge of Van’s cock against his own sensitive flesh. The feel of Van working his hand on his cock and the friction of their hardened lengths sliding together was mind-blowing and closed in on Jake until his world consisted of only that sensation and the erotic, open-mouthed look on Van’s face.
He simply had to touch the other man. Reaching between them, he curled his own fingers over Van’s, matching every twist and pull.
The movement seemed to kick Van up another gear. He leaned forward and captured Jake’s lips in a hungry and hard kiss.
“Come with me, Jake. Come now!” Van murmured against Jake’s kiss-slicked lips.
And that was it; he couldn’t resist the breathless command. Jake jerked his hips upward one last time as the white heat of his climax overwhelmed him.
Later - much later - they would laugh in embarrassment at how quickly they had come in a fumble of hands and eager mouths. But that didn’t matter right now. The opportunity to explore each other’s bodies and what they liked would come in time.
“Oops!” A breathless and flushed Van exclaimed with a giggle when he looked down and saw the mess they had made over each other.
Jake couldn’t help but chuckle in response. He felt light - lighter and happier than he had in a long time. Shrugging out of his shirt, he used the edge to clean them up as best he could. He would wash it out in the morning.
Van kissed Jake’s spent cock before gently tucking him back into his shorts.
Jake gently, almost reverently, returned the gesture and pulled the blonde down on top of him for another kiss - a sweeter, slower kiss this time.
He pouted a little when Van slipped out of his embrace and pulled on his shoulder to get him to turn on his side. But the smile returned to his lips as the blonde scooted in behind him and brought his arm around to rest his hand flat on Jake’s stomach.
Jake could hear and feel the change in Van’s breathing. “Hey,” he murmured as he nudged back against Van. “We should take turns in keeping watch. You know, just in case some of those snakes move further down the beach or if there are other little surprises lying in wait for us?” They really had no idea what was on the rest of the island.
“’K,” Van mumbled, his head nodding lazily against Jake’s back. “Just need a little nap first.”
A few minutes couldn’t hurt, surely? A nap sounded so good. Jake knew also that the two of them should talk… about a lot of things… but his own eyelids seemed to be closing of their own accord and it did feel kinda nice to be lying here in Van’s arms. He brought his own hand up to cover Van’s, interlocking their fingers.
Jake was on the very cusp of sleep when Van murmured against the skin of his neck. “I love you, Jake.”
He had wanted to hear those words fall from Van’s lips for such a long time now. His smile widened into a happy grin just as a contented sleep claimed him.
~~~~~
When Jake came to, something didn’t feel right. Yes, Van was still snuggled up against his back and breathing deeply, small snores escaping his lips occasionally. But there was too much light filtering through his closed eyelids and it was way too hot, even for a South Pacific night.
Opening his eyes and jerking upright, Jake found himself squinting against the morning sun as he looked out across the beach. They had slept the whole night! Looking quickly about him, he discovered there was nothing amiss. They hadn’t been attacked or crept up on in the night; the fire going out was about the only bad thing to have happened.
“Jake!” Van moaned, pulling on Jake’s hip. “Come back down. Come back to sleep.”
Relieved that everything was OK, he shrugged and lay back down next to Van.
The man’s arm immediately came back around Jake’s hip, fingers dipping under the hem of his white T-shirt and tracing meaningless patterns in the trail of hair leading down to his shorts.
“Mmm… better.”
Jake scooted back into Van’s chest. “We’ve slept all night. We should have been taking it in turns to keep watch.”
Van huffed against Jake’s neck. “I was keeping watch! I was watching your back. And a mighty fine back it is too.” He chuckled at his own joke.
Jake rolled his eyes and groaned as he turned to face Van.
“Now that is an even better view. I’d much rather keep watch on that.” Van grinned as he gently scratched his fingers across the dark stubble on Jake’s jaw.
“Jerk!” But Jake couldn’t help grinning back at Van when he saw the man’s half-awake eyes gazing at him lovingly.
He brushed an errant strand of Van’s hair behind his ear before leaning in for a kiss.
As the blonde brought his hands to cup his face and deepen the kiss, Jake thought he heard something off in the distance.
He pulled back far enough to look at Van. “What was that?”
Van shrugged. “I didn’t hear anything. Probably just birds or something.” He pulled Jake back toward him.
There it was again.
“That wasn’t birds. That was an outboard motor!” Jake exclaimed as he struggled to his feet.
Shading his eyes against the sun, he saw it. There was a small boat some distance off the shore.
Jake pulled Van to his feet, careful of his injured side. “It’s a boat, Van! We’re saved!”
Letting go of the other man, he scrambled to the survival kit, rummaging around for a flare.
Jake set off the flare and both men began waving and shouting.
“She’s turning, Van. She’s seen us!” He grasped the blonde by the shoulders. “Everything’s gonna be OK.”
Jake pressed a quick kiss to Van’s lips before turning and watching the boat motor closer to the shore.
When he turned back to face the other man, he was surprised to see that he’d turned his back on the boat and had his arms folded protectively across himself.
Jake laid a hand on Van’s back and was shocked to see him flinch and pull away. “What is it?”
“Is everything gonna be OK, Jake?” Van asked without turning around. “Did you mean everything last night? Or was it… like… any port in a storm?”
Anger flared in Jake. Did Van think last night meant nothing to him? “Is that what you think of me?”
He took a step closer and grasped Van’s shoulder, turning him roughly around.
Jake was about to fire off another angry question but was stopped in his tracks by the genuine look of worry and fear on Van’s face. His thought processes played openly across his face. Jake knew Van was thinking about what would happen now - when they returned to their lives in New York. Jake had to admit he was a little nervous too but he was determined and knew what he wanted - a life with Van… or the chance of one, at least.
He pulled the man to him, hugging him tightly and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I swear to you, Van, I meant every single thing last night. I wouldn’t change it for the world… except for the snakes, maybe. ”
Jake leant back in the embrace but only far enough to look into the green-flecked hazel. “I love you, Van. Have for a long time now. I should have told you that last night. You have to believe me. We’ll make it work, OK?”
Van must’ve seen something in Jake’s eyes that convinced him because he nodded slowly, a smile spreading across his lips.
Jake smiled back and released his hold on the blonde.
As they both turned to face the oncoming boat and their future, Jake reached down and slid his palm against Van’s, interlacing their fingers and giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.
Everything was going to be OK.
The End