Check out this bad ass picture of my grandmother
AWESOME QUIZ
Before I start: For vasco_de_gamma
Fell in love: 5 with that girl in my first grade class. It was then that the teacher, that BIG FAT BITCH started telling my foster parents that I was missing milestones in my 'development' (whatever that means) and we were seperated FOREVA. For 12 years my little bus drove past her house and I could see her coming out to go to the bus or later to get into her boyfriends car but the JOKES ON HER!!! HAAAA she married that guy and their kid got the Downs. IN YOUR PRETTY FACE!!!!!
Lost your virginity: 22, with that Haitian aide at my first group home. She would do some kind of voodoo ritual in my room after all the other people went to bed. I mean, I got all crippled up but I'm not dumb I mean, I technically am dumb because I don't speak but I'm not stupid is what I mean. She would do it in there because I can't talk good and wouldn't tell anybody. One day she just got on top of me and when I 'finished' she got up and squated over a little doll that looked like the house manager. I wasn't sure what it meant at the time, but that bitchy house manager got pregnant and went out on disability about a week later. Then it was a PARTY!
Lost someone close to you: First DAy: Come back Mom and Dad!
Drank alcohol: 24, The haitian ladies from my group home all started hanging out in my room and during onbe of the rituals they do they would pour 151 in my mouth and set it on FIRE! I fooled them though, I'd just start swallowing it before they could light it, you know how like when people can exhale they can blow out matches or a lighter on somebody who's trying to light a smoke? like that! it was so funny!! but then one of them stabbed me. Haitians.
Smoked weed: Being that I have crippled little lungs I can't ever smoke anything.
Got your heart broken: 24, literally, the haitian lady stabbed me and just nicked my heart. THAT WAS CLOSE! But seriously, when I was 21 we had this super hot volunteer girl come to the house to play music and stuff with me and she was the love of my life until I was 26 when she just stopped coming. I called her a bunch of times but when I finally gotr in touch with her she 'apparently' was high or something and she was like, I never want you to call me all day everyday anymore and I never want to see you hanging around outside by the busstop across thge street from my house all the time anymore. Damn....
Got arrested: 28, I was at a protest supporting civil rights and the man got all uppity with me. I had to regulate butt you know how the man is... he always gets his.
Smoked a cigarette: can't do it, got a crippled set of little crackly lungs's
Broken a bone: I had to have my ribs cracked open a bunch of times for operations. I broke my foot once when I ran it over with my wheelchair (I know, right!) and one time I got hit by an ambulance and broke most of the bones in my face.
Got cheated on: If you fall in love with a stripper while she's giving you a lap dance and then you, you know, in your adult diaper and then she immediately leaves and lap dances with other guys AFTER she makes you, you know, in your adult diaper is that like she cheated on you? Because that's the closest thing I ever had to a 'girlfriend'. Wanna laugh? I'm in a wheelchair MAN!
Rode the city bus: 18, travel training with my group home.
Went to a concert: I don't get to go to concerts. I'm in a WHEELCHAIR!
Met someone famous: 17, Muhammed Ali comes to our pancake breakffast every year except that these last 4 years he didn't come and for 5 years before that he stopped eating with us because he can't feed himself anymore. How DOES IT FEEL, CHAMP??? you stupid muslim traitor!!!!! COWARD!
Got your first cell phone: 32. I don't know why, I can't open it and even if I could I can't touch the buttons. I can't voice activate it because I only make one sound and plus no one ever calls me anyway.
Got a Myspace: Friendster baby! 33 WHEELCHAIR
Snuck out of the house: That would be almost impossible. I'd be lucky if somebody remembered to come and get me if there was a fire up in here.
Got your own digital camera: I point you to the cell phone explanationp. Wanna laugh and make fun of my typos? Go Ahead! I type with a stick attached to a hat on my head!
HAHAHAHA! GO AHEAD AND LAUGH nOW! IN YOUR FACE!!!
First time you got drunk: 24. Haitians, rum, sacrifice, fire, et c.
Read Harry Potter: I don't know who that is.
Travelled across the ocean: NEVER!!! I'M IN A WHEELCHAIR!!!!!!
Wore a toga: I wear a hospital gown all the time.
Travelled out of state: Never!!!! My wheelchair runs out of juice after about 9 miles so, i'm kind of limited in my travel plans.
Shopped at Abercrombie : Is that the mall? I go to the mall on Thursdays with my day program. We sit in the food court but we bring our lunches. YEa, it's great. Since mine is pureed and needs to be heated up and there's NOT ONE MICROWAVE at the FOOD COURT that anyone who works for me can ASK IF WE CAN USE I usually just refuse to eat that cold shit. But since I can't talk they think I'm just having trouble trying to eat so they try to 'help' me and push it into my mouth and I wind up with green pureed chicked and vegetables all over my mouth and face and shirt or jacket and then I have to sit there and listen to those assholes complain about what a difficult feeder I am. And the hot highschool girls coming out of Abercrombies look like they might puke when they see me. Then I go home and get showered and put right to sleep and If I could move my arms I would 'hate-jerk' those girls but, instead I just get angrier and angrier until I have a seizure and pass out.
Went to Disney World: Maybe someday, if the mak-a-wish people ever respond to my emails.
Went on a date: I'm IN A WHEELCHAIR!!!! HOW CAN I GO ON A DATE>>>>!!!?!?!?!?!?
How old are you now: 36, and loving it! My life expectancy was only 35 so... IT'S ALMOST OVER!!!!!!
Before I start: For vasco_de_gamma
Fell in love: 5 with that girl in my first grade class. It was then that the teacher, that BIG FAT BITCH started telling my foster parents that I was missing milestones in my 'development' (whatever that means) and we were seperated FOREVA. For 12 years my little bus drove past her house and I could see her coming out to go to the bus or later to get into her boyfriends car but the JOKES ON HER!!! HAAAA she married that guy and their kid got the Downs. IN YOUR PRETTY FACE!!!!!
Lost your virginity: 22, with that Haitian aide at my first group home. She would do some kind of voodoo ritual in my room after all the other people went to bed. I mean, I got all crippled up but I'm not dumb I mean, I technically am dumb because I don't speak but I'm not stupid is what I mean. She would do it in there because I can't talk good and wouldn't tell anybody. One day she just got on top of me and when I 'finished' she got up and squated over a little doll that looked like the house manager. I wasn't sure what it meant at the time, but that bitchy house manager got pregnant and went out on disability about a week later. Then it was a PARTY!
Lost someone close to you: First DAy: Come back Mom and Dad!
Drank alcohol: 24, The haitian ladies from my group home all started hanging out in my room and during onbe of the rituals they do they would pour 151 in my mouth and set it on FIRE! I fooled them though, I'd just start swallowing it before they could light it, you know how like when people can exhale they can blow out matches or a lighter on somebody who's trying to light a smoke? like that! it was so funny!! but then one of them stabbed me. Haitians.
Smoked weed: Being that I have crippled little lungs I can't ever smoke anything.
Got your heart broken: 24, literally, the haitian lady stabbed me and just nicked my heart. THAT WAS CLOSE! But seriously, when I was 21 we had this super hot volunteer girl come to the house to play music and stuff with me and she was the love of my life until I was 26 when she just stopped coming. I called her a bunch of times but when I finally gotr in touch with her she 'apparently' was high or something and she was like, I never want you to call me all day everyday anymore and I never want to see you hanging around outside by the busstop across thge street from my house all the time anymore. Damn....
Got arrested: 28, I was at a protest supporting civil rights and the man got all uppity with me. I had to regulate butt you know how the man is... he always gets his.
Smoked a cigarette: can't do it, got a crippled set of little crackly lungs's
Broken a bone: I had to have my ribs cracked open a bunch of times for operations. I broke my foot once when I ran it over with my wheelchair (I know, right!) and one time I got hit by an ambulance and broke most of the bones in my face.
Got cheated on: If you fall in love with a stripper while she's giving you a lap dance and then you, you know, in your adult diaper and then she immediately leaves and lap dances with other guys AFTER she makes you, you know, in your adult diaper is that like she cheated on you? Because that's the closest thing I ever had to a 'girlfriend'. Wanna laugh? I'm in a wheelchair MAN!
Rode the city bus: 18, travel training with my group home.
Went to a concert: I don't get to go to concerts. I'm in a WHEELCHAIR!
Met someone famous: 17, Muhammed Ali comes to our pancake breakffast every year except that these last 4 years he didn't come and for 5 years before that he stopped eating with us because he can't feed himself anymore. How DOES IT FEEL, CHAMP??? you stupid muslim traitor!!!!! COWARD!
Got your first cell phone: 32. I don't know why, I can't open it and even if I could I can't touch the buttons. I can't voice activate it because I only make one sound and plus no one ever calls me anyway.
Got a Myspace: Friendster baby! 33 WHEELCHAIR
Snuck out of the house: That would be almost impossible. I'd be lucky if somebody remembered to come and get me if there was a fire up in here.
Got your own digital camera: I point you to the cell phone explanationp. Wanna laugh and make fun of my typos? Go Ahead! I type with a stick attached to a hat on my head!
HAHAHAHA! GO AHEAD AND LAUGH nOW! IN YOUR FACE!!!
First time you got drunk: 24. Haitians, rum, sacrifice, fire, et c.
Read Harry Potter: I don't know who that is.
Travelled across the ocean: NEVER!!! I'M IN A WHEELCHAIR!!!!!!
Wore a toga: I wear a hospital gown all the time.
Travelled out of state: Never!!!! My wheelchair runs out of juice after about 9 miles so, i'm kind of limited in my travel plans.
Shopped at Abercrombie : Is that the mall? I go to the mall on Thursdays with my day program. We sit in the food court but we bring our lunches. YEa, it's great. Since mine is pureed and needs to be heated up and there's NOT ONE MICROWAVE at the FOOD COURT that anyone who works for me can ASK IF WE CAN USE I usually just refuse to eat that cold shit. But since I can't talk they think I'm just having trouble trying to eat so they try to 'help' me and push it into my mouth and I wind up with green pureed chicked and vegetables all over my mouth and face and shirt or jacket and then I have to sit there and listen to those assholes complain about what a difficult feeder I am. And the hot highschool girls coming out of Abercrombies look like they might puke when they see me. Then I go home and get showered and put right to sleep and If I could move my arms I would 'hate-jerk' those girls but, instead I just get angrier and angrier until I have a seizure and pass out.
Went to Disney World: Maybe someday, if the mak-a-wish people ever respond to my emails.
Went on a date: I'm IN A WHEELCHAIR!!!! HOW CAN I GO ON A DATE>>>>!!!?!?!?!?!?
How old are you now: 36, and loving it! My life expectancy was only 35 so... IT'S ALMOST OVER!!!!!!