danger
i'm thinking about a million things right now. i was wondering if there was anyone that i could call up and say, can i come cry at your house? hayley's probably my closest friend, but i don't know if i would cry at her house. we just laugh together. then i thought about matt and ashley, who now live in nashville, but i could probably cry with them except in the time it takes to drive to their house i might be through crying. yeah, the reason for all of this is probably because yesterday i was thinging how easy it would be to just kell yself and then i wouldn't have the think anymore. just overdose on whatever's in the medicine cabinet. but then people would be sad, and it might not kill me and that would really suck. plus, i woun't get to get married and have five kids. and then i thought about living somewhere else. rebecca did when she lived in verginia, she stayed with her youth minister. maybe with vonda. brian's gone and she could use some company. plus, then i'd be really close to hayley. what i really want right now is a boyfriend. and i need to go see matt sometime soon. and krissy. i'm glad we haven't moved too many times because then i would spend all my time with old friends. i'm torn between wanting to be in college already or being a freshman again. i think this in-between thing is killing me. one or the other.