no words..
"You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff... that idea of home is gone. You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place. " ~**Garden State**~
if i could travel back in time... i would go to January 25th, 2004. Mind you-- things weren't perfect then.. but in my mind now-- they are much closer to perfect than this very moment is.
As i think back on high school.. every year had something bad happen-- but for all of those bads-- there was good too. 2004 had some bads.. but over-all 2004 was a great year... found someone who at the time meant the world to me-- graduated high school-- went to nationals and made it into the top 4 ( which later that year was televised on ESPN)-- got into/started attending catholic-- made a whole new group of friends ( some of which have proved to be pretty amazing)-- my family was in a semi- normal state-- i was happy for who i was then
as i look back on 2006-- i have over-come SO many struggles.. who i am and how i define myself has really changed and grown into something this year-- i've had many triumphs..
but also a lot of struggles that are still on going.
i miss being ignorant to the world-- i miss living in my little dance bubble.. i miss
everything about 2004.
i hate living in the past -- and i used to so much and i really think that is something that i HAVE overcome this year..
but when i am upset
i feel like the past is the only thing that can semi-comfort me.
this christmas should be an interesting one..
Mom and Ron got our christmas tree tonight-- looks good.. but it isn't out of it's binding yet
hopefully we'll be able to put it up.
i am so tired of life being so difficult. How is it that some people on this earth have life so easy-- i know that sounds so cliche.. but it is so true. Some people live life completely ignorant.. while others.. are SO painfully aware of all that is going on around them.
i hope 2007 will prove to give me and my family a break from the hard stuff....
night
<3
if i could travel back in time... i would go to January 25th, 2004. Mind you-- things weren't perfect then.. but in my mind now-- they are much closer to perfect than this very moment is.
As i think back on high school.. every year had something bad happen-- but for all of those bads-- there was good too. 2004 had some bads.. but over-all 2004 was a great year... found someone who at the time meant the world to me-- graduated high school-- went to nationals and made it into the top 4 ( which later that year was televised on ESPN)-- got into/started attending catholic-- made a whole new group of friends ( some of which have proved to be pretty amazing)-- my family was in a semi- normal state-- i was happy for who i was then
as i look back on 2006-- i have over-come SO many struggles.. who i am and how i define myself has really changed and grown into something this year-- i've had many triumphs..
but also a lot of struggles that are still on going.
i miss being ignorant to the world-- i miss living in my little dance bubble.. i miss
everything about 2004.
i hate living in the past -- and i used to so much and i really think that is something that i HAVE overcome this year..
but when i am upset
i feel like the past is the only thing that can semi-comfort me.
this christmas should be an interesting one..
Mom and Ron got our christmas tree tonight-- looks good.. but it isn't out of it's binding yet
hopefully we'll be able to put it up.
i am so tired of life being so difficult. How is it that some people on this earth have life so easy-- i know that sounds so cliche.. but it is so true. Some people live life completely ignorant.. while others.. are SO painfully aware of all that is going on around them.
i hope 2007 will prove to give me and my family a break from the hard stuff....
night
<3