so its only been forever..
i never update anymore.
this journal use to be my escape.
i use to look forward to venting in this thing.
now i never even think about updating. now im so caught
up in other stupid stuff. and i vent to other people now. or
atleast i attempt to vent to other people. but usually these other people
are working and dont answer there phones, and they dont call me back, and im really
just getting sick of it. i guess i should have listened to people when they told me that i
am relying on her too much to be my outlet. i denied it. but now i am coming to realize that in reality i am relying on her too much. i mean, she is the only person now that i can talk to about absolutly anything going on in my life, she is the only person that i have told some things that i would never imagine telling anyone,she is the only person though that never answers the phone when i call her, never returns my calls, and when she does answer the phone she is on her way to work or on a delivery or shes about to watch a movie or shes with friends, so either way, we only talk for 5 minutes at most. and im tired of it. not her. i love her to death, and she has already done so much for me in my life, but this is getting to be ridiculous..i am done trying. if she calls me, then i will talk to her, but i am not going to keep attempting to call her. i am wasting my time throughout the day trying to plan my schedule around times when she is supposivly not working so i think oh i can call her then. but then i do and she doesnt answer anyways. whatever.
what i say is true. you did bring out the best in me.
but i cant wait around for you to keeo that part of me out. i have to do it on my own. i am still discovering who i am, and i cant make these acts a part of me.
this journal use to be my escape.
i use to look forward to venting in this thing.
now i never even think about updating. now im so caught
up in other stupid stuff. and i vent to other people now. or
atleast i attempt to vent to other people. but usually these other people
are working and dont answer there phones, and they dont call me back, and im really
just getting sick of it. i guess i should have listened to people when they told me that i
am relying on her too much to be my outlet. i denied it. but now i am coming to realize that in reality i am relying on her too much. i mean, she is the only person now that i can talk to about absolutly anything going on in my life, she is the only person that i have told some things that i would never imagine telling anyone,she is the only person though that never answers the phone when i call her, never returns my calls, and when she does answer the phone she is on her way to work or on a delivery or shes about to watch a movie or shes with friends, so either way, we only talk for 5 minutes at most. and im tired of it. not her. i love her to death, and she has already done so much for me in my life, but this is getting to be ridiculous..i am done trying. if she calls me, then i will talk to her, but i am not going to keep attempting to call her. i am wasting my time throughout the day trying to plan my schedule around times when she is supposivly not working so i think oh i can call her then. but then i do and she doesnt answer anyways. whatever.
what i say is true. you did bring out the best in me.
but i cant wait around for you to keeo that part of me out. i have to do it on my own. i am still discovering who i am, and i cant make these acts a part of me.