Words That Stabbed Me
I experienced my first "bully" when I was 4 years old in pre-k. I've always been a shy, quiet, nerd. I guess that's the typical target for bullies in general. At 4 years old I didn't know my life would become a journey of darkness and storms. I enclosed myself at a very young age and never even tried to defend myself (except on occasions). The sad thing, is that I've not only been bullied by classmates, but by teachers too. In second grade I was mistreated by my teacher who for unknown reasons disliked me and always made it seem like I was the "bad girl in class" despite the fact that I didn't talk to anyone.
My fourth grade was the worse and I will never forget it. The entire classroom tormented me; picked on me; and bullied me. They'd throw balls at me in Gym class and teachers would just laugh. They'd play jokes on me that involved the entire class's admiration of their successful pranks. Worst of all, they'd laughed at me because I didn't know English very well. I remember when my teacher was trying to teach me a math word-problem and was asking me questions in front of the whole class. I didn't understand her because I didn't know what many of those words meant. She got frustrated and starting yelling at me while the entire class broke down in laughter. That incident has made me hate math and to this day I'm horrible at it! My worse fear to date is taking math in a class room where professor pick on people to answer the questions. Therefore, I've taken all of my College math courses online.
My mistake was that I never defended myself and I never understood that I could do something about it. I was young, immature, and weak. I probably still hold these aspects, but the environment I'm in doesn't allow me to show it.
When I tried to tell adults about my situation; as I recall clearly, I'd usually get responses such as: "ignore them", "you're too sensitive they're just playing with you!", "or defend yourself and they will stop." I tried all three. I tried ignoring my bullies, but they never stopped. They'd pushed me, pull my hair, hit me, and call me all sorts of names. They'd also make fun of the way I look. I tried laughing with them and trying not to take it seriously, they'd just kept calling me "stupid" and taunted me more. I tried defending myself and they'd all gang up on me. Lastly, I tried telling my teachers and all they did was tell them to stop, which they never did.
I hit depression when I was 13. I became suicidal and tried taking my life away twice. I always had the same talk with my parents, since I was 4 years old, and nothing ever happened about the situation. I was still suffering.
I'm now 21 years old and in College. I Thank God everyday that I'm not in Elementary, Middle, or High School. I Thank God that I don't have to deal with bullies in College as much. I still get picked on every now and then, but at least I don't have to face them every single day. & it's not as hard.
I Thank God that people are now taking it seriously. I hear on the radio, tv, and online all the time. Bullying is bad and I feel sorry for the people who took there lives away because of it. I know what they were feeling. I also understand the people who had shoot outs at their schools, I also know how they felt. I had thoughts of shooting at my schools too.
I'm glad it's not as bad anymore, but bullying has affected my life immensely.
My fourth grade was the worse and I will never forget it. The entire classroom tormented me; picked on me; and bullied me. They'd throw balls at me in Gym class and teachers would just laugh. They'd play jokes on me that involved the entire class's admiration of their successful pranks. Worst of all, they'd laughed at me because I didn't know English very well. I remember when my teacher was trying to teach me a math word-problem and was asking me questions in front of the whole class. I didn't understand her because I didn't know what many of those words meant. She got frustrated and starting yelling at me while the entire class broke down in laughter. That incident has made me hate math and to this day I'm horrible at it! My worse fear to date is taking math in a class room where professor pick on people to answer the questions. Therefore, I've taken all of my College math courses online.
My mistake was that I never defended myself and I never understood that I could do something about it. I was young, immature, and weak. I probably still hold these aspects, but the environment I'm in doesn't allow me to show it.
When I tried to tell adults about my situation; as I recall clearly, I'd usually get responses such as: "ignore them", "you're too sensitive they're just playing with you!", "or defend yourself and they will stop." I tried all three. I tried ignoring my bullies, but they never stopped. They'd pushed me, pull my hair, hit me, and call me all sorts of names. They'd also make fun of the way I look. I tried laughing with them and trying not to take it seriously, they'd just kept calling me "stupid" and taunted me more. I tried defending myself and they'd all gang up on me. Lastly, I tried telling my teachers and all they did was tell them to stop, which they never did.
I hit depression when I was 13. I became suicidal and tried taking my life away twice. I always had the same talk with my parents, since I was 4 years old, and nothing ever happened about the situation. I was still suffering.
I'm now 21 years old and in College. I Thank God everyday that I'm not in Elementary, Middle, or High School. I Thank God that I don't have to deal with bullies in College as much. I still get picked on every now and then, but at least I don't have to face them every single day. & it's not as hard.
I Thank God that people are now taking it seriously. I hear on the radio, tv, and online all the time. Bullying is bad and I feel sorry for the people who took there lives away because of it. I know what they were feeling. I also understand the people who had shoot outs at their schools, I also know how they felt. I had thoughts of shooting at my schools too.
I'm glad it's not as bad anymore, but bullying has affected my life immensely.