giving up
well I might be quiting my job today. i don't want to quit, but things aren't getting any better. In point of fact the situation is getting steadily worse and I can't take it anymore.
ok backstory time. A few months ago my old manager hired this guy Aaron and it started out alright. He did is job, kept his head down and everything was gravy. Then he tried to get me fired. His drawer came up $200 short and he told my then-manager that I took it. Which is fucking bullshit and I'm still pissed about that. In blaming me he saved his ass and put mine in the hot seat. And it also put my promotion on hold. Nothing ever came of it. It couldn't be proven either way which one of us took it but everybody knows that he did. At the time I had been there just over a year and everybody was pissed at him for trying to unload that on me.
After that mess my promotion was actually back on track, assistant manager here I come. He then put up another road block in my way. He told my manager that I had vandalized the store by messing with the signs outside to say something obscene. Which I did not do. Anybody who knows me knows that I wouldn't do something that juvenile, especially at my job. Another semi-investigation insued and it was found that some teenagers had done in on third shift. I wasn't even at the damn store when it happened. My promotion got put on hold again. After a few weeks it was put back on track yet again.
After that he started reporting to my new manager every time I did anything even slightly in the gray area. When that didn't get me fired he started reporting lies about me. Every time he works with me he acts all nice and pretends like everything is good between us. Then the next day he tells my manager all this shit that I supposedly did.
Now I have had this job for a year and a half, and I have been putting up with this shit for months now. I am stressed the fuck out. Not just because of his shit that I have to put up with everyday that I work, and I mean every fucking day that I work.
My personal life is also very stressful. I don't mind stress but my stress level has been so high for so long that it is effecting me negatively. I hardly eat anymore and when I do its heads or tails if I don't puke. My hair is falling out. My sleeping is all fucked up. It has become to where it is not unusual for me to be up between 30-40 hours at a time and when I do sleep its for maybe 4 hours. I'm getting headaches everyday. As for the whole injury thing, hairpin trigger. I've been clean on that for about a year and a half, longer I think, and it is becoming ever more difficult to keep that part of me restrained.
I don't really have fun anymore because of all the bullshit I have to put up with in all areas of my life. My smiles are fake and my laughter is hollow. I can't keep it up much longer and if I have to quit my job then I will do it. Honestly I don't want to quit my job. Its not that good of a job but I still want to keep it.
I have had several talks with my manager about this little welp of a human being. Today I am having another talk with her. I hate to say it, but if I don't like what I hear today and see actual results over the next couple of weeks, I will be giving her my notice and get another job.
Yay stress.
-Meagan