Please Leave a Message!

[what_4th_wall]

You've reached the Bea Arthur fan club. If you love Bea or want to pay me to steal, maim, destroy, or kill for you (or all of the above), please leave a message at the pleasant automated feminine voice instructing you to leave a message. If you are Mab, please leave phone sex. If you are none of the above, you should hang up now before you leave a message and I am forced to find and kill you. Right, Todd?

"HE'S SERIOUS! OH GOD, SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP M-" BLAM!

If you would like to leave a message, please press 1 or wait for the beep. If you would like to leave a callback number...