Oct 06, 2005 08:10
Whats up gurrrllll??
Okay, this is all for you.
Im not sure what i want to say, or how im going to say it, but theres things i need to say. first of all, i love you more than anything, and i miss you so fucking much. i still consider you my best friend, even though its been so long. i still think about you every single day, and ive spent so many days sitting alone, crying, wondering where everything went wrong. I remember the day when we reliazed that Sydney and Addie moved on, and we swore that we'd NEVER EVER do that to each other. we swore that we'd always stick it out through anything, no matter what else comes along.
i was crying to my mom about you on saturday, and all she said was that if we were true friends nothing could come between us, not even a year of not talking. then i said something about megan and how i hated that she took my place, and she said that you were just trying to see if there was somekind of better friendship out there, but if we really are best, best friends like we say, no one can take that from us and we'll be back to the way we were like nothing ever happened. thats what i want more than anything else right now. fuck everything else that happens in my life... all i want is my best friend back, and our friendship to be as close as it was before, which i know we can do.
i know we live far from each other and whatever, but when i get my car, ill spend every dollar i get on gas money to come see you as much as i possibly can. annddd youll have a car too!! i can stay at your house every weekend/break/days we dont have school at your house like i used to, and we can have our every once in a while weekends in lake orion.
i need to work on not getting so jealous, because thats one of the biggest things that hurt us. i just dont want to loose you ever again, because this whole situation killed me.
i know we can do this, jaclyn. i want this more than anything, and ill do whatever it takes to be "Jaclyn and Emily" again. i love being known as 'jaclyns best friend' whenever im in berkley. i want that title back!! :/ I miss all of our exciting and hilarious times we used to have, and i want to have more of them. those were the things i lived for, and i want to start living again...
i love you jaclyn, and i miss you more than words could ever express. i know you miss me too, so we gotta make this work. that really sweet apartment we always talked about is still waiting for us, so we have to work at this!! just think of it... our apartment.. huuukas, bings, 40'z, boy sleep overs, anddd girl sleep overs ;) haha. but seriosly, we have to do that still. your the only person id be able to live with, so i need you!!!! haha. maybe some day we'll find SIMON, and he'll move in too! haha.
I LOVE YOU.