ridiculous
i'm obsessive; i really do think i am.
we have been broken up longer then we ever were together; and i can't drown out these thoughts or remove the weight from my chest. i desperately wish to have him back with me, because he is the only one who respected me, and treated me the way that i needed to be. i had never had someone like that before.
i have tried to date since then, but it's not the same. i cannot regain the same connection i had with him with anyone else. maybe i don't want him anymore, maybe it is the idea of him i am so infatuated with. the idea of someone taking care of me, helping me. understanding my goals, and believeing i would reach them.
that small blot on my past was the greatest of my short lifetime. and i'm afraid i will never regain that comfort again. good god how pathetic am i.