At least the drama is over for now
I gave her a hug on the stairs tonight and she said stop kissing up to me I still don't want to go out with you. Then I said something like "never? but you said it wasn't forever." And then I went downstairs and she went up and I sent her a text that said "makea me cry." And then she came downstairs and said "you're not crying." And I said not anymore. Well to make a long conversation short (really just because my memory sucks)...she asked if I wanted the truth and I said yeah. And she said she can't see herself with me for the rest of her life. I said but just 2 months ago you wanted to get married. She said she thinks she just liked the thought of it but didn't really want to. And her mom and aunt asked if we were gonna get married and if she can see herself with me for the rest of her life. And apparently she couldn't. She said "but I still love you." I said no you don't otherwise you'd want to be with me. Then she asked if she could tell me something without me getting mad and she said she still loves Herby (her ex) but that she's not with him either. I said then you don't love him. I said everyone always leaves me. And I said something about my last ex, can't remember what, but I said "actually we weren't even going out, it was like you and me are now...with each other, but not going out." Also she said the reason she didn't say it was over for good was because she was afraid I was going to take everything away from her, cause everything's in my name, and I said no I'm not going to, I only said that before because I was mad. So I cried on her shoulder and she said it hurt her too because she knows how sad it made me and to just ask Sam (or was it Christen) how much she cried. She said she would move out if I wanted her to and I said no I don't want to be alone. And she asked if that's all it was that I didn't want to be alone and I just shook my head no, didn't really know what to say, plus hard to talk when crying. She said she doesn't want to be with anybody and I said so you're not ready to settle down so then why'd you buy a house. Anyway we agreed we'd stay living together and if we found somebody else, to tell the other person and that she'd move out. She said that her feelings might change in the future but that she doesn't know. "This is where the story ends."