Weaving 4/8?
Story: Weaving
Author: wmr
wendymr
Sequel to: Broken Threads (Series: Tapestry)
Characters: Tenth Doctor, Jack Harkness, Rose Tyler; Team Torchwood and other characters in minor roles
Rated: PG13
Disclaimer: None of them are mine, and that's a good thing ;)
Spoilers: DW: S3 and VotD; TW: pretty much all of S2, though this is completely AU.
Summary: She's back, and it should be just as it was before, the three of them... but can you ever really go back?
As before, my thanks to
dark_aegis and
kae_nine for BRing and reassurance. This is a sequel to Broken Threads, as noted, and might not make a lot of sense without it. So sorry for the very long delay between chapters! RL has been interfering in very many ways, but normal service should resume now.
Chapter 1: Transmission Complete l Chapter 2: Minefields l Chapter 3: Papering Over Cracks
Chapter 4: Secrets and Lies
They’re a great team, they really are. A crack team, like he told Dinn. He knows Jack and Rose succeeded with the mother-ship, because the security system winked off shortly after he and Dinn got to the processing plant. It’s a cleverly-built plant, he’ll give its devisors that, but it’s not clever enough for him. He recognises the process and knows immediately what’ll reverse it.
Ten minutes’ work and he’s done it. The nutrients will be released back into the atmosphere and the planet will be safe for the Zinaris once more. It’s too late for those who’ve already died, of course, but the rest should be fine.
“Come on.” He pats Dinn on the shoulder. “Mission accomplished. I’ve got friends to find, and you’ve got a planet to reclaim.”
“Thank you, Doctor-sir,” Dinn says, bowing slightly. “What of the invaders, though? I don’t wish to impose further, but they may simply reverse your changes once we have left.”
He shakes his head. “Think they’d find that just a little hard to do.” Grinning, he adds, “I’m cleverer than them. Just a touch. Well, a lot. Put a deadlock-seal on the controls. Hardwired it, and then set a tripwire around the entire thing. No-one’s going to get even close to the controls.”
“I think your friend Rose-ma’am was right,” Dinn says, looking rather too admiring for the Doctor’s liking. Oh, he really does hate being hero-worshipped. “There is none better than you.”
Flattery, though, isn’t so bad. He gives a bashful smile. “I do my best.” But Dinn’s right; they still have to send the invaders home with their tails between their legs. Metaphorically speaking, anyway. Unless they actually do have tails.
Jack and Rose aren’t at the rendezvous-point. Odd; he’d have expected them to be back by now. They can’t be far, though, so he sets out to meet them, making long strides across the sandy terrain, sweeping the area with his gaze. More dead Zinaris, of course. But Dinn’s taking off his breathing apparatus now - he watches the Zinari carefully, ready to leap into action if he starts struggling for breath - and nodding in pleased approval. “It is good.”
“Well, of course it is,” he answers, a little absently as he’s searching for Jack and Rose. “You had me, hadn’t you?”
About fifty yards ahead, there’s something... what? He breaks into a run. A vehicle of some sort, and what looks like people on the ground. No, two people on the ground, and someone else kneeling. Someone with blonde hair... oh, no, no, no...
His gaze passes over one supine figure and ignores it; unknown human male, deceased. The other - oh, hell, it’s Jack, and Rose is next to him, bending over him, tears streaming down her face as she touches him.
No. Oh, no. No, she can’t have found out like this. But she has. Oh, Rose.
“Rose,” he calls, and she turns, looking up at him with swollen, wet eyes.
“Doctor. Jack’s... Jack’s dead.” She swallows, choking back a sob. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
She’s sorry for him, that much is clear. Sorry for his pain, never mind her own so-obvious grief. The anguish in her voice stabs at him, and he curses himself and Jack for not telling her. No matter how much neither of them wanted to explain, it would’ve been better than making her suffer like this.
“Rose. Rose, come here.” He holds a hand out to her, but she ignores it. “Come here,” he repeats. “Leave him.
She sobs, and the grief in her eyes cuts through him. “He’s... he’s dead, Doctor!”
If she won’t come to him, he’ll just have to come to her. He drops to one knee beside her, wrapping an arm tightly around her shoulders. She resists for a moment, then leans into him, and that feels so familiar. Better.
“He’ll be fine, Rose. Promise. Just give him a minute. And let go of him, all right? He’ll need room to breathe.”
She pulls back, staring at him through her tears, and it’s obvious that she thinks he’s insane. “Doctor, didn’t you hear me? That bloke over there shot him. He’s dead!”
That’s when he notices the gun in her other hand. “Ah. And you shot him?” What is it with companions and guns? But he should have expected it. She was with Torchwood in her universe, after all.
“He shot Jack!” she chokes out, and she’s not looking at him at all, just staring down at Jack’s still face, his unbreathing form. He’s watching too, even if most of his attention’s on Rose. Any second now, Jack’s going to come back. He should already have revived, really. Bit slow this time, isn’t he?
Again, he tries to pull her back from Jack a bit, to give him room. “Come on, Rose. Leave him. He’ll be fine. Jack can’t-”
And there it is, at last. “Aaah!” The harsh cry of Jack dragging air into his lungs, the sound that never fails to tear at his gut while at the same time making him sag with sheer relief.
Rose’s eyes are wide in disbelief as Jack drags himself into a sitting position and looks at the two of them. “Strictly speaking, Doctor, and I know you appreciate the difference, I can die. I just can’t stay dead.”
***
He was dead. There’s no doubt in her mind about that. Besides, the bullet in his chest and massive blood-loss, plus complete absence of breathing or heartbeat, were proof enough even if she’d doubted it. She’s been out in the field enough, too, to have seen people killed. Jack was dead.
And now he’s sitting up, alive, going on about being able to die but not staying dead. What the hell’s going on?
They’re looking at her now, the two of them, just like guilty schoolboys. They’ve got a secret - and she knows better than to believe that this is the only secret they’ve been hiding - and they don’t know how to begin the explanation they know damn well she wants.
First things first. Gripping Jack by the shoulders, holding him still, she studies him. Complexion normal. Breathing normal. She presses her hand against his chest; heartbeat normal.
“The bullet-hole’s sealed up. You’ll probably find the bullet lying somewhere inside my shirt,” Jack tells her, his tone wry. “I’m sorry, Rose. I should’ve told you. I never wanted you to find out this way.”
Find out what? He can’t die. Or - right, yes, he can, but then he’s alive again. How?
A cough from the Doctor makes her turn, cutting her off before asking the questions she’s bursting to fire at Jack. He’s standing, holding out hands to both of them. “Hate to interrupt, and I know Rose is probably desperate for an explanation, but, you know, invasion to be stopped?”
He’s right, of course. She lets herself be pulled up as Jack says, “Yeah, right, forgot. We neutralised the mother-ship, but there’s obviously more of them around.”
“Yeah, and if someone hadn’t gone and killed him over there we might have got some answers,” the Doctor retorts. She’s about to defend herself, but before she can speak he’s tugging her into his arms, into a warm, comforting hug. “I’m sorry. Should’ve told you about Jack before.”
“Yeah, you both should,” she agrees. “An’ I’m expecting a full explanation later.” The explanation she’s beginning to suspect she can figure out.
Jack squeezes her shoulder. “You’ll get one. Okay, let’s get to work.”
The Doctor’s released her and he’s already bending over the body. “This should help.” He holds up a device rather like Jack’s little teleport receiver, the one he had back in 1941. “Should help us locate the rest of them.”
“You don’t think they’re all in the mother-ship?” she asks, dragging her gaze away from Jack’s bloodstained shirt. Later. Time for that later.
“Might be. Can’t take the chance, though.”
As it turns out, there’s an angry, confused group surrounding the mother-ship, trying to get inside and unable to understand their failure. One shot fired into the air by Jack gets their attention, despite the Doctor’s irritated look.
“You’re wondering what’s going on,” the Doctor says calmly, though with a note of steel in his voice that she remembers very well. “Simple. You’ve lost. Your processing plant is out of action. Your mother-ship is disabled. The Zinaris are safe from you.” He rocks back on his heels. “In short, this planet is defended.”
One man, older than the rest, with thinning grey hair and a face she can only describe as thuggish, steps forward. “Who by? You three? You haven’t got a chance.”
“You wanna bet?” Jack drawls. “You have no idea what you’re up against.” He moves so that he’s nose to nose with the thug. “Your technology’s useless against us. So are your combat skills. Missing one of your little army? Let’s just say he met with an accident back there.” He jerks his thumb over his shoulder. “He tried to kill me. Just so you know, that’s not even possible. Now, you’ve got two choices. Leave this planet quietly, or we’ll make you leave.”
“I’ll take a third chance, thanks,” the thug retorts, shoving at Jack. “Noticed you’re outnumbered?”
The Doctor’s fiddling with his sonic screwdriver. “Sorry. Think you’ll find your weapons have malfunctioned.”
There’s the sound of multiple muted clicks as each one of them tries their guns, only to find them useless. That’s one thing about advanced weaponry. Full of electronics, and much easier to mess with than standard chambers and bullets.
Rose moves quickly, getting behind the thug, and restrains him by twisting one arm up his back and gripping the other hard at the wrist. He tries to kick out, but she’s too fast, too well-trained to let him get away with it. “Changed your mind yet?”
“Now, Rose, no need to break his arm,” the Doctor chides, sounding highly amused. “Well, unless he’s rude to you, I suppose.”
The thug starts to spit out something that’s obviously going to be insulting. She twists his arm a little higher and he abruptly stops. After that, it’s easy and within ten minutes they’re all back on the mother-ship and ready to leave.
“And don’t come back!” Jack shouts as they’re sliding the doors shut.
It feels just like old times. The three of them have saved the day again. Now, all they have to do is find Dinn, who went back to check on some other Zinaris who took shelter, bring him up to date and then it’ll be their turn to leave.
On the way to find Dinn, she asks the question that’s been tearing at her. “Did I do it?”
“Do what?” The Doctor sounds genuinely confused. Typical. He’s the master of jumping from topic to topic; he should be better able to keep up.
“Jack. This thing that means he doesn’t stay dead. Is it cause of what I did with the Time Vortex?”
The Doctor’s face is a picture, and she doesn’t know whether to be amused or insulted. Obviously, it never occurred to him that her tiny little human brain might have put two and two together. After a second or two, his jaw snaps back into place. “Yes! Yes. Right, yes, that’s what happened. You resurrected him with the power of the Vortex, but you couldn’t control it. You made him immortal. He can’t die. Ever.”
She did that? Eyes wide, she stares at Jack. Jack the risk-taker, the bloke who’s almost died one way or another dozens of times since his first dramatic, almost suicidal gesture in teleporting the German bomb onto his ship. He can’t stay dead?
“Jack, that’s...” Impulsively, she hugs him. “That’s great! Isn’t it?”
It’s only when the two of them look at each other, then pointedly avoid her gaze, that she realises she’s said something very, very wrong.
***
All the reasons why it’s far from great are hovering on his tongue. He could open his mouth and they’d all come out, all the years he’s lived, the deaths he’s died, the people he’s outlived and mourned. Worse still, the future he’s facing, of being alive beyond the end of the universe itself.
One thing stops him. She did it, gave him life, for one reason only: because she loves him. Yes, she got it wrong and this is the result, but she did it for love. That’s worth a lot of forgiveness, and a different approach to letting her understand the consequences of what she did.
The Doctor’s speaking before Jack can stop him, though. “Great? You really think it’s great, Rose? Have you even thought about what it means? Jack’s immortal. He’s a fixed point in time.”
And if you say ‘wrong’, Doctor, I will hit you, the way I should have back on Malcassiro. His fists clench and his jaw goes rigid.
“Fixed, Rose! Constant. Always there. Always. Imagine that! Not just hundreds of years. Not just thousands, or even millions. Not even billions. What happens when everything’s gone, Rose, when the universe finally collapses in on itself? He’s still here, that’s what. Still alive, constantly dying and reviving until he’s swallowed up by the last black hole. That’s what it means.”
The Doctor’s breathing heavily, and he breaks away suddenly, hands shoved deep into his trouser pockets, coat flapping at his heels as he walks.
Rose swings around to stare at him, face ghostly pale, eyes wide. “Is he right? Is that what I did to you?”
He exhales slowly. This really isn’t how he wanted her to find out. “Yeah. That’s about it.”
“Oh, god.” She’s breathing heavily, and she swallows a couple of times before speaking again. “I’m sorry, Jack. I had no idea... I’m so sorry.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t blame you. How could I? You didn’t know what you were doing. It’s not like you intended to turn me into the man who can never die.”
“Still, I’m sorry.” Walking alongside him, she’s giving him occasional glances, and her eyes are troubled. “But how do you know for sure? I mean, coming back from being killed’s one thing, but what about dying of old age?”
Before he can answer, the Doctor’s spun on his heel. Continuing to walk - backwards - he says, “Ask him how old he is,” then immediately turns his back on the two of them again.
“How old?” she demands instantly, now looking as if she’s waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Jack shrugs. “Hard to remember exactly - my life’s not exactly been linear. Best guess? Hundred and seventy-six.”
“Oh, my god. How?”
He explains about making his own way to Earth after being left behind on Satellite Five. “You mean...” Now the shock’s wearing off, and she looks appalled. “You lived through all those years waiting for the Doctor? How did you stop people finding out? How did you stay sane?”
“Long story. Bottom line, Torchwood found me not long after I got to Cardiff in the 1870s. They... persuaded me that it was in my best interests to work for them. Didn’t like a lot of their methods, but once I found out their main mission was to defend the country against the Doctor it was an offer I couldn’t refuse. So I stuck around, worked against them from the inside and tried to make sure they didn’t succeed. I was pretty successful for the most part. Until he decided to walk right into the middle of Torchwood One.”
“All that time on your own. Oh, Jack. I wish we’d known you weren’t dead. We’d never have left you behind.”
Oh, shit. And there’s the other shoe. He can’t answer immediately. Instead, he stares at the Doctor’s back. His lover’s giving every appearance of ignoring this conversation, but he knows very well the Doctor’s listening to every word. So far, he’s done plenty to blame Rose, but this is one thing that’s not her fault.
As if he can read Jack’s mind - and who knows, sometimes - the Doctor swings around again. “I knew,” he admits, his voice quiet. “I left him behind.” At Rose’s exclamation, the Doctor continues. “He’s a fixed point, Rose. Unchanged by time, always there, a constant. I’m a Time Lord, and to me that’s... wrong.”
Jack’s fists clench, but he makes himself stay silent as the Doctor carries on with his explanation, the anger he displayed earlier now completely gone. “He’s... it’s hard to explain. It’s a little like being in the same room with something you’re allergic to or that makes you feel sick. I’ve got used to it now, of course, but then... I didn’t know what to do and I ran.”
“That’s...” Rose’s voice is shaking. “What I did is bad, an’ I’d do anything to put it right if I could. But I didn’t know what I’d done, not until now. You - you knew what you were doin’, Doctor. You jus’ left him there, all alone, not knowing what’d happened to him. You abandoned him and he had no idea why.”
“Rose.” Jack reaches for her before the Doctor can speak. Gripping her shoulders tightly, he says, “Yeah. He did. But we’ve talked about it. It’s over and done with, far as I’m concerned. It’s okay.”
By the way her lips tighten, it’s clear that she’s not. She glances at the Doctor, and there’s no doubt at all that he’s going to be getting a piece of her mind later. Now, she says, “There’s got to be a way to undo it, right?”
“No.” Finally, the Doctor’s come back to stand beside them. “What you did, Rose, it’s permanent. Even I can’t change it. Jack’s just going to live and live and live.”
“Right.” She chews her lip. “What if I do it again? Look into the Heart of the TARDIS? Could I make him normal again?”
“No!” the Doctor exclaims immediately. “You can’t take that risk. And, before you argue, it’s not just a risk to you. It’s the TARDIS as well - and Jack. You didn’t know what you were doing last time. You don’t have any idea how to control the Time Vortex. Even I’d struggle, and I’m a Time Lord.”
“And there’s him,” Jack adds, jerking his head towards the Doctor. “That’s how he died - taking the Vortex from you on Satellite Five.”
***
What?
She killed the Doctor?
“Jack.” The Doctor sounds angry. Her gaze shoots to him; he’s giving Jack a furious glare.
“She had a right to know,” Jack says, and his jaw’s tight.
“Both of you! I killed you,” she whispers, facing the Doctor. “An’ because of me Jack’s gonna...” She breaks free of Jack’s grip. “Sorry’s not good enough, I know. I’ll leave as soon as we get back to Earth, all right?”
There’s nothing else she can do, after all, is there? Not after this. How could they possibly forgive her for all that? How can she forgive herself? It’s all right for Jack to say that she didn’t know what she was doing, but he’s the one who’s paying the price. And the Doctor already paid it, by dying.
Of course she doesn’t want to go, but she’s not stupid, either. Nor is she still naïve enough to believe any more that she deserves to be forgiven just because she says sorry. He forgave her a terrible mistake once before, but then she was little more than a kid. Now, she knows how to take responsibility for her actions, and accept that sometimes there is no way back.
But the Doctor’s shaking his head. “No. No, it’s not all right.” His voice is firm. “Not unless you want to leave - and not because of this. Rose.” His voice softens, and he holds out a hand to her. Slowly, she takes it, meeting his gaze. His eyes say it all; he really doesn’t want her to go. Even with the guilt eating away at her gut, she still can’t help feeling relieved.
“I don’t want to.” She holds his gaze, telling him silently that she’s sorry. “I just...” Breaking off, she shakes her head. The way he’s looking at her tells her he understands. Almost for the first time since she came back, it feels like she’s come home.
“Jack’s right. We should have told you all this sooner, and not like this.” Again, the Doctor shoots Jack a glance.
“Yeah.” Jack steps closer, reaching for her free hand but waiting for her to take it. “Shouldn’t have just said it like that. And nor should you, Doctor.”
She takes Jack’s hand; the way he’s looking at her says he means it, too. He isn’t just trying to be nice because he feels he should. “I needed to know,” she tells them, deliberately assertive. “Don’t care whether you were protecting me or what. I did it, so I should take the consequences.”
“Makes you braver than me,” the Doctor says with a lop-sided smile. “I ran, remember? And when Jack finally caught up with me I ran again.”
“You shouldn’t have,” she points out, but it’s clear from the way he’s looking at both of them that he knows it. “You won’t do it again, right?”
“Nah.” The Doctor grins. “And you won’t go playing around with the TARDIS again, right?”
“What do I have to not do again?” Jack asks, sounding plaintive.
“Maybe try not to get killed?” Rolling his eyes, the Doctor cuffs Jack lightly across his upper arm. “You might not stay dead, but spare a thought for people who have to watch you.”
“Hey, I thought I made a kinda pretty corpse!” Jack protests. It’s an outrageous comment, but that’s Jack all over, and it lightens the mood, making them all laugh.
The Doctor tugs lightly on her hand, and they start walking again. “What you did, Rose... you were trying to help. You saved my life, and you saved what was left of the Earth, and the universe, from the Daleks. Half a million of them, there were. You destroyed them all. You think that’s not worth a life of mine? I was going to die anyway. Dying to save you...” He smiles. “I think that was a better cause.”
She’d have gladly died for him; it’s obvious, though, that he didn’t want that. “I’m glad I saved you. Both of you. I just wish-”
“Stop it.” Jack’s hand tightens around hers. “You know what? I’m glad. Not just that you brought me back to life, and I’ll always be grateful for that. Cause if you hadn’t I’d have missed out on so much.” She doesn’t miss the swift glance, barely a flicker of his eyes, that he gives the Doctor. Right. Yes, that’s new since Satellite Five, of course. “I’ve died something like fourteen hundred times since then, and don’t ask how I keep count. A lot of them were meaningless. But a lot weren’t. Because of you, I’ve been able to save the lives of a lot of people I love. And, hey, it hurts a bit, but I wake up fine. They wouldn’t have.”
“But what about the future?” she has to ask.
Jack shrugs. “Who knows what’s gonna happen? Even the Doctor doesn’t, for all he sees all those timelines in his head. Maybe I’ll get crushed in the last black hole, or maybe one of these days whatever’s inside me will run out at last and I’ll die for good. All that matters is right now I’m here with two of the people I love most in the universe.” He swings around in front of the two of them, then leans in and kisses her hard before doing the same to the Doctor.
“Okay, let’s go talk to Dinn and then we can get out of here.” Jack breaks into a run, dragging the two of them along behind him.
The Doctor stumbles, Jack laughs and suddenly they’re all laughing as they run, hand in hand. Just like old times.
***
Oh, it was just like old times there for a bit. Felt good. Really good. Jack and Rose and him, the old team, running - even if it wasn’t for their lives for a change - and laughing and saving planets and getting back to the TARDIS in time for tea.
It’s good that she knows everything. Definitely a mistake not to tell her sooner.
This is the best time they’ve had since she came back. Drinking tea, swapping more stories about the last couple of years - well, stories he’s happy to tell, anyway, laughing and teasing.
For once, Rose doesn’t disappear off to bed far too early, and when she does go she hugs both of them. Jack, of course, being Jack, kisses her with exaggerated enthusiasm, making her laugh and swipe at his arm. As he wraps his own arms around her, hugging her close, it’s so tempting to emulate Jack, but - oh, why does even a simple gesture have to be so full of potential for complications?
Yes, he could kiss her, and it would be brilliant. But there’s the question of how it’d be interpreted. Jack does it so casually, so naturally, that she accepts it as he intends: friendship and teasing. To Jack, that kind of kiss means about the same as a hug. If he kissed her, it wouldn’t be casual at all, because he doesn’t do that sort of thing, does he? And anyway, it wouldn’t be the same as a hug. Far from it, which is why he never did it before.
And there’s that whole I love you thing that they’ve never talked about. So if he kissed her, she’d read far more into it, and she’d be right, and that would be...
Complicated. Very complicated.
Because there’s Jack, and he’s committed himself there, and he means it. He won’t push Jack aside now that Rose is back. And that’d be the danger, wouldn’t it? Jack’s made clear he would share, but Rose wouldn’t. She never did like it when anyone else got too close to him.
So he just hugs her tight and holds on as long as he dares, then lets her leave, and when Jack takes his hand and leads him out of the room and to their bedroom he pushes Rose from his mind and concentrates on his partner.
Later, when Jack’s asleep, he disentangles himself, dresses and heads for the console room again. It’s more habit now than anything else, because he hasn’t found anything at all, but he’s still checking the integrity of the universe whenever his companions are asleep. And every time he finds no damage the more he’s reassured.
All’s peaceful. Everything’s safe; nothing’s calling out for his attention as they spin through the Vortex, his ship quiet as his companions rest.
Though... There is something, but it’s inside the TARDIS. Something’s wrong.
***
tbc
Author: wmr
wendymr
Sequel to: Broken Threads (Series: Tapestry)
Characters: Tenth Doctor, Jack Harkness, Rose Tyler; Team Torchwood and other characters in minor roles
Rated: PG13
Disclaimer: None of them are mine, and that's a good thing ;)
Spoilers: DW: S3 and VotD; TW: pretty much all of S2, though this is completely AU.
Summary: She's back, and it should be just as it was before, the three of them... but can you ever really go back?
As before, my thanks to
dark_aegis and
kae_nine for BRing and reassurance. This is a sequel to Broken Threads, as noted, and might not make a lot of sense without it. So sorry for the very long delay between chapters! RL has been interfering in very many ways, but normal service should resume now.
Chapter 1: Transmission Complete l Chapter 2: Minefields l Chapter 3: Papering Over Cracks
Chapter 4: Secrets and Lies
They’re a great team, they really are. A crack team, like he told Dinn. He knows Jack and Rose succeeded with the mother-ship, because the security system winked off shortly after he and Dinn got to the processing plant. It’s a cleverly-built plant, he’ll give its devisors that, but it’s not clever enough for him. He recognises the process and knows immediately what’ll reverse it.
Ten minutes’ work and he’s done it. The nutrients will be released back into the atmosphere and the planet will be safe for the Zinaris once more. It’s too late for those who’ve already died, of course, but the rest should be fine.
“Come on.” He pats Dinn on the shoulder. “Mission accomplished. I’ve got friends to find, and you’ve got a planet to reclaim.”
“Thank you, Doctor-sir,” Dinn says, bowing slightly. “What of the invaders, though? I don’t wish to impose further, but they may simply reverse your changes once we have left.”
He shakes his head. “Think they’d find that just a little hard to do.” Grinning, he adds, “I’m cleverer than them. Just a touch. Well, a lot. Put a deadlock-seal on the controls. Hardwired it, and then set a tripwire around the entire thing. No-one’s going to get even close to the controls.”
“I think your friend Rose-ma’am was right,” Dinn says, looking rather too admiring for the Doctor’s liking. Oh, he really does hate being hero-worshipped. “There is none better than you.”
Flattery, though, isn’t so bad. He gives a bashful smile. “I do my best.” But Dinn’s right; they still have to send the invaders home with their tails between their legs. Metaphorically speaking, anyway. Unless they actually do have tails.
Jack and Rose aren’t at the rendezvous-point. Odd; he’d have expected them to be back by now. They can’t be far, though, so he sets out to meet them, making long strides across the sandy terrain, sweeping the area with his gaze. More dead Zinaris, of course. But Dinn’s taking off his breathing apparatus now - he watches the Zinari carefully, ready to leap into action if he starts struggling for breath - and nodding in pleased approval. “It is good.”
“Well, of course it is,” he answers, a little absently as he’s searching for Jack and Rose. “You had me, hadn’t you?”
About fifty yards ahead, there’s something... what? He breaks into a run. A vehicle of some sort, and what looks like people on the ground. No, two people on the ground, and someone else kneeling. Someone with blonde hair... oh, no, no, no...
His gaze passes over one supine figure and ignores it; unknown human male, deceased. The other - oh, hell, it’s Jack, and Rose is next to him, bending over him, tears streaming down her face as she touches him.
No. Oh, no. No, she can’t have found out like this. But she has. Oh, Rose.
“Rose,” he calls, and she turns, looking up at him with swollen, wet eyes.
“Doctor. Jack’s... Jack’s dead.” She swallows, choking back a sob. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
She’s sorry for him, that much is clear. Sorry for his pain, never mind her own so-obvious grief. The anguish in her voice stabs at him, and he curses himself and Jack for not telling her. No matter how much neither of them wanted to explain, it would’ve been better than making her suffer like this.
“Rose. Rose, come here.” He holds a hand out to her, but she ignores it. “Come here,” he repeats. “Leave him.
She sobs, and the grief in her eyes cuts through him. “He’s... he’s dead, Doctor!”
If she won’t come to him, he’ll just have to come to her. He drops to one knee beside her, wrapping an arm tightly around her shoulders. She resists for a moment, then leans into him, and that feels so familiar. Better.
“He’ll be fine, Rose. Promise. Just give him a minute. And let go of him, all right? He’ll need room to breathe.”
She pulls back, staring at him through her tears, and it’s obvious that she thinks he’s insane. “Doctor, didn’t you hear me? That bloke over there shot him. He’s dead!”
That’s when he notices the gun in her other hand. “Ah. And you shot him?” What is it with companions and guns? But he should have expected it. She was with Torchwood in her universe, after all.
“He shot Jack!” she chokes out, and she’s not looking at him at all, just staring down at Jack’s still face, his unbreathing form. He’s watching too, even if most of his attention’s on Rose. Any second now, Jack’s going to come back. He should already have revived, really. Bit slow this time, isn’t he?
Again, he tries to pull her back from Jack a bit, to give him room. “Come on, Rose. Leave him. He’ll be fine. Jack can’t-”
And there it is, at last. “Aaah!” The harsh cry of Jack dragging air into his lungs, the sound that never fails to tear at his gut while at the same time making him sag with sheer relief.
Rose’s eyes are wide in disbelief as Jack drags himself into a sitting position and looks at the two of them. “Strictly speaking, Doctor, and I know you appreciate the difference, I can die. I just can’t stay dead.”
***
He was dead. There’s no doubt in her mind about that. Besides, the bullet in his chest and massive blood-loss, plus complete absence of breathing or heartbeat, were proof enough even if she’d doubted it. She’s been out in the field enough, too, to have seen people killed. Jack was dead.
And now he’s sitting up, alive, going on about being able to die but not staying dead. What the hell’s going on?
They’re looking at her now, the two of them, just like guilty schoolboys. They’ve got a secret - and she knows better than to believe that this is the only secret they’ve been hiding - and they don’t know how to begin the explanation they know damn well she wants.
First things first. Gripping Jack by the shoulders, holding him still, she studies him. Complexion normal. Breathing normal. She presses her hand against his chest; heartbeat normal.
“The bullet-hole’s sealed up. You’ll probably find the bullet lying somewhere inside my shirt,” Jack tells her, his tone wry. “I’m sorry, Rose. I should’ve told you. I never wanted you to find out this way.”
Find out what? He can’t die. Or - right, yes, he can, but then he’s alive again. How?
A cough from the Doctor makes her turn, cutting her off before asking the questions she’s bursting to fire at Jack. He’s standing, holding out hands to both of them. “Hate to interrupt, and I know Rose is probably desperate for an explanation, but, you know, invasion to be stopped?”
He’s right, of course. She lets herself be pulled up as Jack says, “Yeah, right, forgot. We neutralised the mother-ship, but there’s obviously more of them around.”
“Yeah, and if someone hadn’t gone and killed him over there we might have got some answers,” the Doctor retorts. She’s about to defend herself, but before she can speak he’s tugging her into his arms, into a warm, comforting hug. “I’m sorry. Should’ve told you about Jack before.”
“Yeah, you both should,” she agrees. “An’ I’m expecting a full explanation later.” The explanation she’s beginning to suspect she can figure out.
Jack squeezes her shoulder. “You’ll get one. Okay, let’s get to work.”
The Doctor’s released her and he’s already bending over the body. “This should help.” He holds up a device rather like Jack’s little teleport receiver, the one he had back in 1941. “Should help us locate the rest of them.”
“You don’t think they’re all in the mother-ship?” she asks, dragging her gaze away from Jack’s bloodstained shirt. Later. Time for that later.
“Might be. Can’t take the chance, though.”
As it turns out, there’s an angry, confused group surrounding the mother-ship, trying to get inside and unable to understand their failure. One shot fired into the air by Jack gets their attention, despite the Doctor’s irritated look.
“You’re wondering what’s going on,” the Doctor says calmly, though with a note of steel in his voice that she remembers very well. “Simple. You’ve lost. Your processing plant is out of action. Your mother-ship is disabled. The Zinaris are safe from you.” He rocks back on his heels. “In short, this planet is defended.”
One man, older than the rest, with thinning grey hair and a face she can only describe as thuggish, steps forward. “Who by? You three? You haven’t got a chance.”
“You wanna bet?” Jack drawls. “You have no idea what you’re up against.” He moves so that he’s nose to nose with the thug. “Your technology’s useless against us. So are your combat skills. Missing one of your little army? Let’s just say he met with an accident back there.” He jerks his thumb over his shoulder. “He tried to kill me. Just so you know, that’s not even possible. Now, you’ve got two choices. Leave this planet quietly, or we’ll make you leave.”
“I’ll take a third chance, thanks,” the thug retorts, shoving at Jack. “Noticed you’re outnumbered?”
The Doctor’s fiddling with his sonic screwdriver. “Sorry. Think you’ll find your weapons have malfunctioned.”
There’s the sound of multiple muted clicks as each one of them tries their guns, only to find them useless. That’s one thing about advanced weaponry. Full of electronics, and much easier to mess with than standard chambers and bullets.
Rose moves quickly, getting behind the thug, and restrains him by twisting one arm up his back and gripping the other hard at the wrist. He tries to kick out, but she’s too fast, too well-trained to let him get away with it. “Changed your mind yet?”
“Now, Rose, no need to break his arm,” the Doctor chides, sounding highly amused. “Well, unless he’s rude to you, I suppose.”
The thug starts to spit out something that’s obviously going to be insulting. She twists his arm a little higher and he abruptly stops. After that, it’s easy and within ten minutes they’re all back on the mother-ship and ready to leave.
“And don’t come back!” Jack shouts as they’re sliding the doors shut.
It feels just like old times. The three of them have saved the day again. Now, all they have to do is find Dinn, who went back to check on some other Zinaris who took shelter, bring him up to date and then it’ll be their turn to leave.
On the way to find Dinn, she asks the question that’s been tearing at her. “Did I do it?”
“Do what?” The Doctor sounds genuinely confused. Typical. He’s the master of jumping from topic to topic; he should be better able to keep up.
“Jack. This thing that means he doesn’t stay dead. Is it cause of what I did with the Time Vortex?”
The Doctor’s face is a picture, and she doesn’t know whether to be amused or insulted. Obviously, it never occurred to him that her tiny little human brain might have put two and two together. After a second or two, his jaw snaps back into place. “Yes! Yes. Right, yes, that’s what happened. You resurrected him with the power of the Vortex, but you couldn’t control it. You made him immortal. He can’t die. Ever.”
She did that? Eyes wide, she stares at Jack. Jack the risk-taker, the bloke who’s almost died one way or another dozens of times since his first dramatic, almost suicidal gesture in teleporting the German bomb onto his ship. He can’t stay dead?
“Jack, that’s...” Impulsively, she hugs him. “That’s great! Isn’t it?”
It’s only when the two of them look at each other, then pointedly avoid her gaze, that she realises she’s said something very, very wrong.
***
All the reasons why it’s far from great are hovering on his tongue. He could open his mouth and they’d all come out, all the years he’s lived, the deaths he’s died, the people he’s outlived and mourned. Worse still, the future he’s facing, of being alive beyond the end of the universe itself.
One thing stops him. She did it, gave him life, for one reason only: because she loves him. Yes, she got it wrong and this is the result, but she did it for love. That’s worth a lot of forgiveness, and a different approach to letting her understand the consequences of what she did.
The Doctor’s speaking before Jack can stop him, though. “Great? You really think it’s great, Rose? Have you even thought about what it means? Jack’s immortal. He’s a fixed point in time.”
And if you say ‘wrong’, Doctor, I will hit you, the way I should have back on Malcassiro. His fists clench and his jaw goes rigid.
“Fixed, Rose! Constant. Always there. Always. Imagine that! Not just hundreds of years. Not just thousands, or even millions. Not even billions. What happens when everything’s gone, Rose, when the universe finally collapses in on itself? He’s still here, that’s what. Still alive, constantly dying and reviving until he’s swallowed up by the last black hole. That’s what it means.”
The Doctor’s breathing heavily, and he breaks away suddenly, hands shoved deep into his trouser pockets, coat flapping at his heels as he walks.
Rose swings around to stare at him, face ghostly pale, eyes wide. “Is he right? Is that what I did to you?”
He exhales slowly. This really isn’t how he wanted her to find out. “Yeah. That’s about it.”
“Oh, god.” She’s breathing heavily, and she swallows a couple of times before speaking again. “I’m sorry, Jack. I had no idea... I’m so sorry.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t blame you. How could I? You didn’t know what you were doing. It’s not like you intended to turn me into the man who can never die.”
“Still, I’m sorry.” Walking alongside him, she’s giving him occasional glances, and her eyes are troubled. “But how do you know for sure? I mean, coming back from being killed’s one thing, but what about dying of old age?”
Before he can answer, the Doctor’s spun on his heel. Continuing to walk - backwards - he says, “Ask him how old he is,” then immediately turns his back on the two of them again.
“How old?” she demands instantly, now looking as if she’s waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Jack shrugs. “Hard to remember exactly - my life’s not exactly been linear. Best guess? Hundred and seventy-six.”
“Oh, my god. How?”
He explains about making his own way to Earth after being left behind on Satellite Five. “You mean...” Now the shock’s wearing off, and she looks appalled. “You lived through all those years waiting for the Doctor? How did you stop people finding out? How did you stay sane?”
“Long story. Bottom line, Torchwood found me not long after I got to Cardiff in the 1870s. They... persuaded me that it was in my best interests to work for them. Didn’t like a lot of their methods, but once I found out their main mission was to defend the country against the Doctor it was an offer I couldn’t refuse. So I stuck around, worked against them from the inside and tried to make sure they didn’t succeed. I was pretty successful for the most part. Until he decided to walk right into the middle of Torchwood One.”
“All that time on your own. Oh, Jack. I wish we’d known you weren’t dead. We’d never have left you behind.”
Oh, shit. And there’s the other shoe. He can’t answer immediately. Instead, he stares at the Doctor’s back. His lover’s giving every appearance of ignoring this conversation, but he knows very well the Doctor’s listening to every word. So far, he’s done plenty to blame Rose, but this is one thing that’s not her fault.
As if he can read Jack’s mind - and who knows, sometimes - the Doctor swings around again. “I knew,” he admits, his voice quiet. “I left him behind.” At Rose’s exclamation, the Doctor continues. “He’s a fixed point, Rose. Unchanged by time, always there, a constant. I’m a Time Lord, and to me that’s... wrong.”
Jack’s fists clench, but he makes himself stay silent as the Doctor carries on with his explanation, the anger he displayed earlier now completely gone. “He’s... it’s hard to explain. It’s a little like being in the same room with something you’re allergic to or that makes you feel sick. I’ve got used to it now, of course, but then... I didn’t know what to do and I ran.”
“That’s...” Rose’s voice is shaking. “What I did is bad, an’ I’d do anything to put it right if I could. But I didn’t know what I’d done, not until now. You - you knew what you were doin’, Doctor. You jus’ left him there, all alone, not knowing what’d happened to him. You abandoned him and he had no idea why.”
“Rose.” Jack reaches for her before the Doctor can speak. Gripping her shoulders tightly, he says, “Yeah. He did. But we’ve talked about it. It’s over and done with, far as I’m concerned. It’s okay.”
By the way her lips tighten, it’s clear that she’s not. She glances at the Doctor, and there’s no doubt at all that he’s going to be getting a piece of her mind later. Now, she says, “There’s got to be a way to undo it, right?”
“No.” Finally, the Doctor’s come back to stand beside them. “What you did, Rose, it’s permanent. Even I can’t change it. Jack’s just going to live and live and live.”
“Right.” She chews her lip. “What if I do it again? Look into the Heart of the TARDIS? Could I make him normal again?”
“No!” the Doctor exclaims immediately. “You can’t take that risk. And, before you argue, it’s not just a risk to you. It’s the TARDIS as well - and Jack. You didn’t know what you were doing last time. You don’t have any idea how to control the Time Vortex. Even I’d struggle, and I’m a Time Lord.”
“And there’s him,” Jack adds, jerking his head towards the Doctor. “That’s how he died - taking the Vortex from you on Satellite Five.”
***
What?
She killed the Doctor?
“Jack.” The Doctor sounds angry. Her gaze shoots to him; he’s giving Jack a furious glare.
“She had a right to know,” Jack says, and his jaw’s tight.
“Both of you! I killed you,” she whispers, facing the Doctor. “An’ because of me Jack’s gonna...” She breaks free of Jack’s grip. “Sorry’s not good enough, I know. I’ll leave as soon as we get back to Earth, all right?”
There’s nothing else she can do, after all, is there? Not after this. How could they possibly forgive her for all that? How can she forgive herself? It’s all right for Jack to say that she didn’t know what she was doing, but he’s the one who’s paying the price. And the Doctor already paid it, by dying.
Of course she doesn’t want to go, but she’s not stupid, either. Nor is she still naïve enough to believe any more that she deserves to be forgiven just because she says sorry. He forgave her a terrible mistake once before, but then she was little more than a kid. Now, she knows how to take responsibility for her actions, and accept that sometimes there is no way back.
But the Doctor’s shaking his head. “No. No, it’s not all right.” His voice is firm. “Not unless you want to leave - and not because of this. Rose.” His voice softens, and he holds out a hand to her. Slowly, she takes it, meeting his gaze. His eyes say it all; he really doesn’t want her to go. Even with the guilt eating away at her gut, she still can’t help feeling relieved.
“I don’t want to.” She holds his gaze, telling him silently that she’s sorry. “I just...” Breaking off, she shakes her head. The way he’s looking at her tells her he understands. Almost for the first time since she came back, it feels like she’s come home.
“Jack’s right. We should have told you all this sooner, and not like this.” Again, the Doctor shoots Jack a glance.
“Yeah.” Jack steps closer, reaching for her free hand but waiting for her to take it. “Shouldn’t have just said it like that. And nor should you, Doctor.”
She takes Jack’s hand; the way he’s looking at her says he means it, too. He isn’t just trying to be nice because he feels he should. “I needed to know,” she tells them, deliberately assertive. “Don’t care whether you were protecting me or what. I did it, so I should take the consequences.”
“Makes you braver than me,” the Doctor says with a lop-sided smile. “I ran, remember? And when Jack finally caught up with me I ran again.”
“You shouldn’t have,” she points out, but it’s clear from the way he’s looking at both of them that he knows it. “You won’t do it again, right?”
“Nah.” The Doctor grins. “And you won’t go playing around with the TARDIS again, right?”
“What do I have to not do again?” Jack asks, sounding plaintive.
“Maybe try not to get killed?” Rolling his eyes, the Doctor cuffs Jack lightly across his upper arm. “You might not stay dead, but spare a thought for people who have to watch you.”
“Hey, I thought I made a kinda pretty corpse!” Jack protests. It’s an outrageous comment, but that’s Jack all over, and it lightens the mood, making them all laugh.
The Doctor tugs lightly on her hand, and they start walking again. “What you did, Rose... you were trying to help. You saved my life, and you saved what was left of the Earth, and the universe, from the Daleks. Half a million of them, there were. You destroyed them all. You think that’s not worth a life of mine? I was going to die anyway. Dying to save you...” He smiles. “I think that was a better cause.”
She’d have gladly died for him; it’s obvious, though, that he didn’t want that. “I’m glad I saved you. Both of you. I just wish-”
“Stop it.” Jack’s hand tightens around hers. “You know what? I’m glad. Not just that you brought me back to life, and I’ll always be grateful for that. Cause if you hadn’t I’d have missed out on so much.” She doesn’t miss the swift glance, barely a flicker of his eyes, that he gives the Doctor. Right. Yes, that’s new since Satellite Five, of course. “I’ve died something like fourteen hundred times since then, and don’t ask how I keep count. A lot of them were meaningless. But a lot weren’t. Because of you, I’ve been able to save the lives of a lot of people I love. And, hey, it hurts a bit, but I wake up fine. They wouldn’t have.”
“But what about the future?” she has to ask.
Jack shrugs. “Who knows what’s gonna happen? Even the Doctor doesn’t, for all he sees all those timelines in his head. Maybe I’ll get crushed in the last black hole, or maybe one of these days whatever’s inside me will run out at last and I’ll die for good. All that matters is right now I’m here with two of the people I love most in the universe.” He swings around in front of the two of them, then leans in and kisses her hard before doing the same to the Doctor.
“Okay, let’s go talk to Dinn and then we can get out of here.” Jack breaks into a run, dragging the two of them along behind him.
The Doctor stumbles, Jack laughs and suddenly they’re all laughing as they run, hand in hand. Just like old times.
***
Oh, it was just like old times there for a bit. Felt good. Really good. Jack and Rose and him, the old team, running - even if it wasn’t for their lives for a change - and laughing and saving planets and getting back to the TARDIS in time for tea.
It’s good that she knows everything. Definitely a mistake not to tell her sooner.
This is the best time they’ve had since she came back. Drinking tea, swapping more stories about the last couple of years - well, stories he’s happy to tell, anyway, laughing and teasing.
For once, Rose doesn’t disappear off to bed far too early, and when she does go she hugs both of them. Jack, of course, being Jack, kisses her with exaggerated enthusiasm, making her laugh and swipe at his arm. As he wraps his own arms around her, hugging her close, it’s so tempting to emulate Jack, but - oh, why does even a simple gesture have to be so full of potential for complications?
Yes, he could kiss her, and it would be brilliant. But there’s the question of how it’d be interpreted. Jack does it so casually, so naturally, that she accepts it as he intends: friendship and teasing. To Jack, that kind of kiss means about the same as a hug. If he kissed her, it wouldn’t be casual at all, because he doesn’t do that sort of thing, does he? And anyway, it wouldn’t be the same as a hug. Far from it, which is why he never did it before.
And there’s that whole I love you thing that they’ve never talked about. So if he kissed her, she’d read far more into it, and she’d be right, and that would be...
Complicated. Very complicated.
Because there’s Jack, and he’s committed himself there, and he means it. He won’t push Jack aside now that Rose is back. And that’d be the danger, wouldn’t it? Jack’s made clear he would share, but Rose wouldn’t. She never did like it when anyone else got too close to him.
So he just hugs her tight and holds on as long as he dares, then lets her leave, and when Jack takes his hand and leads him out of the room and to their bedroom he pushes Rose from his mind and concentrates on his partner.
Later, when Jack’s asleep, he disentangles himself, dresses and heads for the console room again. It’s more habit now than anything else, because he hasn’t found anything at all, but he’s still checking the integrity of the universe whenever his companions are asleep. And every time he finds no damage the more he’s reassured.
All’s peaceful. Everything’s safe; nothing’s calling out for his attention as they spin through the Vortex, his ship quiet as his companions rest.
Though... There is something, but it’s inside the TARDIS. Something’s wrong.
***
tbc