Man and Superman 1/10?
Story: Man and Superman
Author: wmr
Rated: PG13 (for now)
Characters: Ninth Doctor, Tenth Doctor, Rose Tyler, Jack Harkness, others
Spoilers: AU from Parting of the Ways, general Torchwood spoiler (but not Torchwood compliant)
Summary: A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Man and Superman Act I
With grateful thanks to
ponygirl72 and
dark_aegis for BRing and general support and encouragement - you rock, ladies!
Chapter 1: Staying Alive
Air whooshes into his lungs and his chest expands. Pain shoots through him, and his exhale is fiery agony.
Being dead shouldn’t hurt.
He blinks. His eyes open.
He’s still here, on Floor 500, where he...
EXTERMINATE!
I kinda figured that.
...died.
The corridor is empty. No Daleks. Piles of dust litter the floor.
But if he’s dead, how can he be...
No. Not dead.
But... the Daleks... The Doctor!
Shaking, wobbling, losing his balance at least twice, he scrambles to his feet, ignoring the pain. The Doctor’s back in the control area, facing the Daleks alone. Unless it’s all over and he’s dead. Or he set off the Delta wave and the Daleks are dead...
But, if he’s done that, then Jack too would be dead. Unless a miracle happened and the Doctor managed to modify it to distinguish between human and Dalek?
But, no, he said that wasn’t possible. He didn’t have time. The Emperor knew it, too.
So, what? Has he survived extermination and a Delta wave?
No. Can’t have. Obviously the Daleks didn’t hit him. Maybe he fell and they missed? Though Daleks don’t miss. He’s never known that to happen. And, okay, maybe it’s just possible that one could, but three? And besides, there’s the pain in his chest. That’s where he was struck. He could swear to that. So... what? He was dead, and now he’s alive? But that’s impossible.
The Delta wave hasn’t gone off. The satellite’s too stable for that. If the wave had gone off, there’d be damage - buckling in the floors and walls, at least. The engines probably would’ve stopped. The computers would probably be fried.
Time to figure all that out later. Getting to the Doctor’s more important. He sets off, staggering unsteadily, every breath taken sending fire through his lungs, making for the door leading to the control area, all the time dreading what he knows he’ll find.
The Doctor. Surrounded by Daleks. Dead.
The door’s ahead of him, at last. He pushes it open a crack, looking for Daleks. Not that he can do a whole lot about them, with no ammo and no other weapons, but he has to know what’s happening. If there’s a way he can get to the Delta wave generator, then maybe there’s a chance...
No Daleks. Just the same little piles of ash there were out in the corridor.
No Daleks? Then what the hell’s happened?
He opens the door, trying not to fall through it, and searches around with his gaze.
The TARDIS stands to one side. But that was gone, wasn’t it? The Doctor sent Rose away in it. Yet it’s back. And the door’s wide open.
Movement to the right attracts his attention. Bending over the console is a tall, dark figure. The Doctor. He’s detaching the extrapolator.
The Doctor. He’s alive.
How, he has no idea, but that’s not important. Barely able to believe what he’s seeing, he calls, “Doctor!”
The Time Lord whirls and just stares at him for a moment. “Jack! I thought... I heard you die.” His fists clench, and an agonised expression crosses his face fleetingly. And then he moves, striding across the room, and strong arms are around Jack, the hug brief but almost crushing. He’d hug back as tightly, but his arms can barely obey his wishes.
“I did die. I think,” he says, and stares at the Doctor. “I remember three Daleks facing me, running out of ammo, and... just waiting to die. And then I woke up.”
The Doctor looks back at him, head slightly on one side, his unblinking gaze disconcerting.
“I bring life,” he murmurs, almost under his breath.
“Huh?”
The Doctor looks away briefly, the way he does when he’s not happy about something, when he’s about to say something he knows won’t be liked.
“You shouldn’t be alive.”
Jack flinches. And then he’s greeted with one of the Doctor’s lightning grins. “Can’t say I’m sorry, though.”
“Glad to hear it.” He can’t help the irony that laces his voice.
He gets a raised eyebrow for that. “Don’t be any more of a stupid ape than you can help, Captain. Point is, someone’s messed around with life an’ death. An’ she should know better.”
He’s about to ask who, what the Doctor’s talking about, but as he inhales pain fills his chest again and he staggers. A strong arm grabs his. “Come on. Into the TARDIS. I’ll check you over in the med-lab, but that’ll have to be later.”
“Later?”
“Yeah. Need to get out of here.” The Doctor supports him across the floor to the TARDIS door, then stops. “Can you make it from here? Need to get the extrapolator.”
“I’m fine.” He is, really. It’s just when he breathes a little too deeply... “For a guy who was dead five minutes ago, I’m in great shape,” he points out with a twisted grin. And he still wants to know how it is that he’s alive, and who’s responsible for it.
All the same, he leans against the door for a minute to catch his breath. Back at the TARDIS. Half an hour ago, when he was saying goodbye to the Doctor and Rose, he never thought he’d see the inside of this ship again. Yet here he is, he and the Doctor, back on board - or they will be in a minute.
They’ll go and get Rose, right? The Doctor sent her home, but now that they’re alive after all he’ll want to get her back, won’t he? Though - wait, he’s forgetting. The Daleks. The Doctor, also alive when he should dead.
“Doctor, what happened? How are you - ”
His arm’s gripped firmly. “Inside. Don’t have much time.”
The Doctor beside him, he walks into the time-ship - and then stops dead. Lying on the grille next to the console is Rose.
Ignoring the pain in his chest, he hurries to her. “Rose!” She’s not moving - unconscious or dead? What’s she doing here, anyway? The Doctor sent her away!
He starts to drop towards her, but the Doctor’s beside him again and stops him.
“She’ll wake up in a few minutes. Leave her.”
“You sent her away. What’s she doing here?” What’s happened to her? And could Rose be who the Doctor was talking about a few minutes ago? Who messed about with life and death? But how?
“Yeah.” The Doctor looks away. “Sent her home, to keep her alive. I told her what to do. Let the TARDIS die. Have a fantastic life. An’ the stupid girl came back. Nearly died, too.” Anger suffuses his voice, but beneath it there’s fear. Because, again, he almost lost Rose.
“I’d have come back, too.” Some admission from the self-confessed coward, but it’s the truth.
The Doctor turns back to look at him, expression unreadable. “Didn’t send you away, though.”
He holds the Time Lord’s gaze, and realises that he’s being offered an apology. Regrets. “You couldn’t. You needed me here.” Needed him here to die in order to buy time for the Doctor to deal with the Daleks.
“Yep.”
“What happened, though?” he persists. “The Daleks?”
The Doctor moves to the console, and he follows. Together, they go through the dematerialisation sequence, taking the TARDIS into the Vortex. “Gone. All gone. Wiped out of existence. Out of time altogether, if I’m very lucky.” The Doctor’s not looking at him, and his tone’s grim.
“But how?”
There’s a pause, and he thinks he’s not going to get an answer. Finally, the Doctor says, “Rose. Told you, she came back. Opened up my TARDIS - practically butchered her, an’ the repair-job I’ll have to do...” He pauses, and for an instant looks as if he’s just taken a punch to the gut. “She looked into the Time Vortex. Took it inside her. An’ she came out of the TARDIS like an avenging angel. She waved her hand an’ the Daleks just disintegrated. Including the Emperor.”
“Wow.” He lets out a low whistle. “Must’ve been impressive.”
“Impressive?” Ice-blue eyes bore into him, and the Doctor’s tone chills him to the bone. “You think it’s impressive to see someone burnin’ up before your eyes? Impressive to watch her muckin’ around with time an’ the universe when she hasn’t a clue what she’s doin’? I have no idea what she did, Jack, an’ no time to find out. She brought you back to life, an’ for all I know that’s only the start. Could get back to Earth to find there’s Reapers everywhere. You call that impressive?”
When it’s put like that... Right. Not so impressive. But she did save the Doctor’s life. She destroyed the Daleks. And she saved his worthless hide.
“For what it’s worth,” he says slowly, “I think I’m the only one she resurrected. I didn’t see any sign of anyone else alive. No-one was talking on the comms system.”
“Maybe we’re lucky, then.” The Doctor’s mouth is a thin line. “Still don’t know what consequences there are from you bein’ here, though. An’ don’t start imagining I’d prefer you dead, either, Captain. ‘S just the consequences I don’t like.”
He nods. “I get it.” All the same, his mouth twists. “Got my blaster with me. Won’t take me a minute to blow a hole in my head with it, if it’d make things easier for the universe.” He’s trying for humour, but it comes out wrong and he sounds - well, damn, he sounds whiny.
“Now you’re bein’ stupid.” The Doctor shakes his head, scorn lacing his voice. “An’ I don’t have time for this. Jack, I need to tell you something. It’s important, so jus’ shut up an’ listen, all right?”
He nods. Whatever this is, it’s serious enough to make the Doctor look at him with an expression he’s only seen a few times before, and at least two of those were less than an hour ago.
“Jack, I’m dyin’. An’ I need you to look after Rose for me until I can again.”
What?
“Dying?” he repeats, and just stares at the Doctor. The Doctor who looks to be in perfect health...
...except he’s not. Pain shoots across his face for a brief moment, and - what was that? A flicker of gold over his hand?
He moves around the console, hand extended towards his friend. But the Doctor backs away. “Stay back! Don’t touch me.” He freezes, the rejection stinging. “It’s not safe,” the Doctor continues.
Not safe? “What...? Doctor, what’s going on? The Daleks - ” It’s his only guess. “ - did this to you?”
A brief shake of the Doctor’s head. “If they’d got me, I’d really be dead. Permanently.”
Permanently? “What, then?”
“Told you. ‘M dying. But it’ll be all right. Little Time Lord trick. I’ll be back - just a different me. New body.” The Doctor flinches again. “Won’t faze you. But Rose... She might find it hard. Not seen as much as you have. Help her, all right?”
It’s just as well the Doctor’s told him to shut up and listen, because he hasn’t a clue what to say.
***
At least Jack’s listening. At least Jack’s alive - that’s one little bonus he never expected out of this situation. Oh, he never expected to be in this position at all: Daleks defeated, Rose back with him, himself alive even if he is about to regenerate.
Jack’s death he reluctantly accepted was the price of victory. There’s always a price, of course, and here it was the loss of a valued friend. He half-thought he was seeing a ghost when he looked up and saw Jack standing in the doorway.
One fewer friend lost to death. Something to be thankful for.
“One more thing you need to know.” He focuses on being as matter-of-fact as possible. There’s no time for anything else - Rose will wake up any second, and the change is imminent. “Physical regeneration’ll be complete in about five minutes. But it’ll be about twenty-four hours before it’s all done. In that time, I could be a bit weird.”
He expects Jack to make a joke of that; it’d be in his style. But the other man just nods, his expression sober, sombre. “Anything in particular to look out for?”
He shrugs. “Could be sick. Delirious. Could go a bit mad. Hurt someone once right after I changed.” He meets Jack’s gaze, his own intent. Don’t let me do that this time.
Whatever Jack might have said in reply is lost, as there’s a soft moan from the far side of the console. Rose is waking.
Rose. Who ignored his express instructions to her. Who almost tore his TARDIS apart. Who played around with life and death, with the very fabric of the universe, and not even he knows what the consequences of that could be.
He should be furious with her. Well, he is, but at the same time he’s grateful beyond words. Has to be.
Oh, he made some grandiose claims to the Dalek Emperor. And how well did he do at achieving those?
I'm gonna save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet.
Yes, he managed that - with Jack’s help and a lot of luck.
I’m gonna save the Earth.
Yeah. Great job he did there. Fantastic. Half the planet destroyed, close to half its population wiped out. And if he’d actually used the Delta wave the entire population of the Earth would’ve been dead.
I'm gonna wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!
Didn’t do so well at that one either, did he? Rose did all that. He gave up. He conceded victory to the enemy, all because he couldn’t be the one to commit genocide a second time. So Rose did it for him, and at what cost? To herself, as well as all the other potential consequences he’s already identified? That still remains to be seen, but it’s not something he’s got time to deal with now.
Time. A resource that’s in very limited quantity right now. The Time Lord’s run out of time.
“What... what happened?”
She’s sitting up now; Jack squeezes his shoulder briefly, then goes to her, helping her to her feet, arm around her waist to support her. “You okay, Rose?”
“Yeah, just kind of... woozy. ‘S weird.” She comes to the console, standing beside Jack, leaning on him. “What happened? The Daleks...?”
“What do you remember?”
She frowns, obviously trying to concentrate. “I dunno... I was back home, wasn’t I? No, I was in the TARDIS.” She stammers through a confused and very incomplete account. It’s clear she remembers almost nothing. Good.
And she seems fine, too, from what he can see - although, once his regeneration’s complete and they’re somewhere safe, he’ll need to check her over thoroughly. After all, if taking the Vortex into himself for mere seconds is killing him, what will it have done to her?
He offers her a complete lie as an explanation. It shows how confused her mind still is that she doesn’t challenge him on it immediately. Again, good. There isn’t time. He’s got to try to prepare her, at least. It’s not fair to leave all the explanations to Jack.
Explaining isn’t easy, though. Especially when he also needs to say goodbye, and do it all in the space of about two minutes. How can he possibly tell her, in that short time, how much she’s meant to him? What getting to know her, travelling with her, has done to help him climb out of the pit of despair he was in when he met her? And yet he has to try, because there’s no guarantee that the next him will think to say it. Will believe it’s important.
But he’s looking at her and all he can think of are irrelevancies, such as everything he wanted to do with her, places he wanted to take her, and he interrupts his attempt at an explanation to tell her that. And he remembers, too, that he kissed her, though thankfully he’s got enough sense left not to mention that. She doesn’t remember it. Better that way.
Jack’s stepped back, away from the console, and is leaning next to the TARDIS door, pretty much where he stood the very first time he came into the ship. He’s giving them some privacy for this. Considerate of him. Especially since he’s not going to get his own farewell. There won’t be time.
Though he knows. Jack knows. Right?
Even still...
He can spare a moment. Turning his gaze onto Jack, he waits until the Captain looks back at him. “Always bigger on the inside, you were.” He grins briefly as he takes in Jack’s shock at the comment, but he can’t give him any more time. He’s got to tell Rose what’s about to happen. Clearly, unambiguously, no more procrastinating.
It’s getting closer. He can feel it, the burning, eating away inside him. The flicker of gold across his skin is getting more obvious. And the pain’s going to get much, much worse very soon.
Yet he’s still wasting what little time is left, wittering on about never making sense again, having two heads - or no head; about wanting to take her to Barcelona, stupid jokes about dogs with no noses. And she hasn’t a clue what he’s talking about.
So he tries to make a bit more sense, at least trying to give her some idea of what to expect. “It’s a bit dodgy, this process. You never know what you’re gonna end up with - Aaah!”
He almost bends double in pain, and she tries to run to him; he has to order her back, away from him. And there’s no time to couch it in careful language now. He has to be blunt. “Every cell in my body’s dyin’,” he tells her.
She looks stricken. No surprise to him now. He always knew that he cared enough about her to die for her; the shock of the last hour is that she cares as deeply about him. That Jack does, too, he strongly suspects.
“Can’t you do something?”
“Doin’ it now,” he manages to say before another wave of pain hits him and he’s bracing himself against the console. One deep breath, and he’s got the pain under control for the moment. Now he’s got to explain, and make it fast.
“Time Lords have this little trick. Sort of a way of cheatin’ death. Except...” He raises his head from the console and looks straight at her. “It means I’m gonna change. An’ I’m not gonna see you again. Not like this. Not with this daft old face.”
There are tears shimmering in her eyes now. He’d have them in his too, except it’s difficult for anything other than the pain to register. “And before I go,” he continues - he’s got to tell her this, if nothing else. Jack can take care of the rest.
“Don’t say that!” she exclaims, a choke in her voice.
“Rose. Before I go, I just wanna tell you, you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic.” So much more than that, but there’s no time. Another intake of breath, and he manages to summon a wide smile. “An’ d’you know what? So was I!”
This is it. It’s upon him. And his last conscious memory, before the flames engulf him, is of Jack running to Rose, pulling her into his arms, holding her tightly as she sobs, and Jack’s stricken gaze on him.
***
tbc
Author: wmr
Rated: PG13 (for now)
Characters: Ninth Doctor, Tenth Doctor, Rose Tyler, Jack Harkness, others
Spoilers: AU from Parting of the Ways, general Torchwood spoiler (but not Torchwood compliant)
Summary: A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth - George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) Man and Superman Act I
With grateful thanks to
ponygirl72 and
dark_aegis for BRing and general support and encouragement - you rock, ladies!
Chapter 1: Staying Alive
Air whooshes into his lungs and his chest expands. Pain shoots through him, and his exhale is fiery agony.
Being dead shouldn’t hurt.
He blinks. His eyes open.
He’s still here, on Floor 500, where he...
EXTERMINATE!
I kinda figured that.
...died.
The corridor is empty. No Daleks. Piles of dust litter the floor.
But if he’s dead, how can he be...
No. Not dead.
But... the Daleks... The Doctor!
Shaking, wobbling, losing his balance at least twice, he scrambles to his feet, ignoring the pain. The Doctor’s back in the control area, facing the Daleks alone. Unless it’s all over and he’s dead. Or he set off the Delta wave and the Daleks are dead...
But, if he’s done that, then Jack too would be dead. Unless a miracle happened and the Doctor managed to modify it to distinguish between human and Dalek?
But, no, he said that wasn’t possible. He didn’t have time. The Emperor knew it, too.
So, what? Has he survived extermination and a Delta wave?
No. Can’t have. Obviously the Daleks didn’t hit him. Maybe he fell and they missed? Though Daleks don’t miss. He’s never known that to happen. And, okay, maybe it’s just possible that one could, but three? And besides, there’s the pain in his chest. That’s where he was struck. He could swear to that. So... what? He was dead, and now he’s alive? But that’s impossible.
The Delta wave hasn’t gone off. The satellite’s too stable for that. If the wave had gone off, there’d be damage - buckling in the floors and walls, at least. The engines probably would’ve stopped. The computers would probably be fried.
Time to figure all that out later. Getting to the Doctor’s more important. He sets off, staggering unsteadily, every breath taken sending fire through his lungs, making for the door leading to the control area, all the time dreading what he knows he’ll find.
The Doctor. Surrounded by Daleks. Dead.
The door’s ahead of him, at last. He pushes it open a crack, looking for Daleks. Not that he can do a whole lot about them, with no ammo and no other weapons, but he has to know what’s happening. If there’s a way he can get to the Delta wave generator, then maybe there’s a chance...
No Daleks. Just the same little piles of ash there were out in the corridor.
No Daleks? Then what the hell’s happened?
He opens the door, trying not to fall through it, and searches around with his gaze.
The TARDIS stands to one side. But that was gone, wasn’t it? The Doctor sent Rose away in it. Yet it’s back. And the door’s wide open.
Movement to the right attracts his attention. Bending over the console is a tall, dark figure. The Doctor. He’s detaching the extrapolator.
The Doctor. He’s alive.
How, he has no idea, but that’s not important. Barely able to believe what he’s seeing, he calls, “Doctor!”
The Time Lord whirls and just stares at him for a moment. “Jack! I thought... I heard you die.” His fists clench, and an agonised expression crosses his face fleetingly. And then he moves, striding across the room, and strong arms are around Jack, the hug brief but almost crushing. He’d hug back as tightly, but his arms can barely obey his wishes.
“I did die. I think,” he says, and stares at the Doctor. “I remember three Daleks facing me, running out of ammo, and... just waiting to die. And then I woke up.”
The Doctor looks back at him, head slightly on one side, his unblinking gaze disconcerting.
“I bring life,” he murmurs, almost under his breath.
“Huh?”
The Doctor looks away briefly, the way he does when he’s not happy about something, when he’s about to say something he knows won’t be liked.
“You shouldn’t be alive.”
Jack flinches. And then he’s greeted with one of the Doctor’s lightning grins. “Can’t say I’m sorry, though.”
“Glad to hear it.” He can’t help the irony that laces his voice.
He gets a raised eyebrow for that. “Don’t be any more of a stupid ape than you can help, Captain. Point is, someone’s messed around with life an’ death. An’ she should know better.”
He’s about to ask who, what the Doctor’s talking about, but as he inhales pain fills his chest again and he staggers. A strong arm grabs his. “Come on. Into the TARDIS. I’ll check you over in the med-lab, but that’ll have to be later.”
“Later?”
“Yeah. Need to get out of here.” The Doctor supports him across the floor to the TARDIS door, then stops. “Can you make it from here? Need to get the extrapolator.”
“I’m fine.” He is, really. It’s just when he breathes a little too deeply... “For a guy who was dead five minutes ago, I’m in great shape,” he points out with a twisted grin. And he still wants to know how it is that he’s alive, and who’s responsible for it.
All the same, he leans against the door for a minute to catch his breath. Back at the TARDIS. Half an hour ago, when he was saying goodbye to the Doctor and Rose, he never thought he’d see the inside of this ship again. Yet here he is, he and the Doctor, back on board - or they will be in a minute.
They’ll go and get Rose, right? The Doctor sent her home, but now that they’re alive after all he’ll want to get her back, won’t he? Though - wait, he’s forgetting. The Daleks. The Doctor, also alive when he should dead.
“Doctor, what happened? How are you - ”
His arm’s gripped firmly. “Inside. Don’t have much time.”
The Doctor beside him, he walks into the time-ship - and then stops dead. Lying on the grille next to the console is Rose.
Ignoring the pain in his chest, he hurries to her. “Rose!” She’s not moving - unconscious or dead? What’s she doing here, anyway? The Doctor sent her away!
He starts to drop towards her, but the Doctor’s beside him again and stops him.
“She’ll wake up in a few minutes. Leave her.”
“You sent her away. What’s she doing here?” What’s happened to her? And could Rose be who the Doctor was talking about a few minutes ago? Who messed about with life and death? But how?
“Yeah.” The Doctor looks away. “Sent her home, to keep her alive. I told her what to do. Let the TARDIS die. Have a fantastic life. An’ the stupid girl came back. Nearly died, too.” Anger suffuses his voice, but beneath it there’s fear. Because, again, he almost lost Rose.
“I’d have come back, too.” Some admission from the self-confessed coward, but it’s the truth.
The Doctor turns back to look at him, expression unreadable. “Didn’t send you away, though.”
He holds the Time Lord’s gaze, and realises that he’s being offered an apology. Regrets. “You couldn’t. You needed me here.” Needed him here to die in order to buy time for the Doctor to deal with the Daleks.
“Yep.”
“What happened, though?” he persists. “The Daleks?”
The Doctor moves to the console, and he follows. Together, they go through the dematerialisation sequence, taking the TARDIS into the Vortex. “Gone. All gone. Wiped out of existence. Out of time altogether, if I’m very lucky.” The Doctor’s not looking at him, and his tone’s grim.
“But how?”
There’s a pause, and he thinks he’s not going to get an answer. Finally, the Doctor says, “Rose. Told you, she came back. Opened up my TARDIS - practically butchered her, an’ the repair-job I’ll have to do...” He pauses, and for an instant looks as if he’s just taken a punch to the gut. “She looked into the Time Vortex. Took it inside her. An’ she came out of the TARDIS like an avenging angel. She waved her hand an’ the Daleks just disintegrated. Including the Emperor.”
“Wow.” He lets out a low whistle. “Must’ve been impressive.”
“Impressive?” Ice-blue eyes bore into him, and the Doctor’s tone chills him to the bone. “You think it’s impressive to see someone burnin’ up before your eyes? Impressive to watch her muckin’ around with time an’ the universe when she hasn’t a clue what she’s doin’? I have no idea what she did, Jack, an’ no time to find out. She brought you back to life, an’ for all I know that’s only the start. Could get back to Earth to find there’s Reapers everywhere. You call that impressive?”
When it’s put like that... Right. Not so impressive. But she did save the Doctor’s life. She destroyed the Daleks. And she saved his worthless hide.
“For what it’s worth,” he says slowly, “I think I’m the only one she resurrected. I didn’t see any sign of anyone else alive. No-one was talking on the comms system.”
“Maybe we’re lucky, then.” The Doctor’s mouth is a thin line. “Still don’t know what consequences there are from you bein’ here, though. An’ don’t start imagining I’d prefer you dead, either, Captain. ‘S just the consequences I don’t like.”
He nods. “I get it.” All the same, his mouth twists. “Got my blaster with me. Won’t take me a minute to blow a hole in my head with it, if it’d make things easier for the universe.” He’s trying for humour, but it comes out wrong and he sounds - well, damn, he sounds whiny.
“Now you’re bein’ stupid.” The Doctor shakes his head, scorn lacing his voice. “An’ I don’t have time for this. Jack, I need to tell you something. It’s important, so jus’ shut up an’ listen, all right?”
He nods. Whatever this is, it’s serious enough to make the Doctor look at him with an expression he’s only seen a few times before, and at least two of those were less than an hour ago.
“Jack, I’m dyin’. An’ I need you to look after Rose for me until I can again.”
What?
“Dying?” he repeats, and just stares at the Doctor. The Doctor who looks to be in perfect health...
...except he’s not. Pain shoots across his face for a brief moment, and - what was that? A flicker of gold over his hand?
He moves around the console, hand extended towards his friend. But the Doctor backs away. “Stay back! Don’t touch me.” He freezes, the rejection stinging. “It’s not safe,” the Doctor continues.
Not safe? “What...? Doctor, what’s going on? The Daleks - ” It’s his only guess. “ - did this to you?”
A brief shake of the Doctor’s head. “If they’d got me, I’d really be dead. Permanently.”
Permanently? “What, then?”
“Told you. ‘M dying. But it’ll be all right. Little Time Lord trick. I’ll be back - just a different me. New body.” The Doctor flinches again. “Won’t faze you. But Rose... She might find it hard. Not seen as much as you have. Help her, all right?”
It’s just as well the Doctor’s told him to shut up and listen, because he hasn’t a clue what to say.
***
At least Jack’s listening. At least Jack’s alive - that’s one little bonus he never expected out of this situation. Oh, he never expected to be in this position at all: Daleks defeated, Rose back with him, himself alive even if he is about to regenerate.
Jack’s death he reluctantly accepted was the price of victory. There’s always a price, of course, and here it was the loss of a valued friend. He half-thought he was seeing a ghost when he looked up and saw Jack standing in the doorway.
One fewer friend lost to death. Something to be thankful for.
“One more thing you need to know.” He focuses on being as matter-of-fact as possible. There’s no time for anything else - Rose will wake up any second, and the change is imminent. “Physical regeneration’ll be complete in about five minutes. But it’ll be about twenty-four hours before it’s all done. In that time, I could be a bit weird.”
He expects Jack to make a joke of that; it’d be in his style. But the other man just nods, his expression sober, sombre. “Anything in particular to look out for?”
He shrugs. “Could be sick. Delirious. Could go a bit mad. Hurt someone once right after I changed.” He meets Jack’s gaze, his own intent. Don’t let me do that this time.
Whatever Jack might have said in reply is lost, as there’s a soft moan from the far side of the console. Rose is waking.
Rose. Who ignored his express instructions to her. Who almost tore his TARDIS apart. Who played around with life and death, with the very fabric of the universe, and not even he knows what the consequences of that could be.
He should be furious with her. Well, he is, but at the same time he’s grateful beyond words. Has to be.
Oh, he made some grandiose claims to the Dalek Emperor. And how well did he do at achieving those?
I'm gonna save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet.
Yes, he managed that - with Jack’s help and a lot of luck.
I’m gonna save the Earth.
Yeah. Great job he did there. Fantastic. Half the planet destroyed, close to half its population wiped out. And if he’d actually used the Delta wave the entire population of the Earth would’ve been dead.
I'm gonna wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!
Didn’t do so well at that one either, did he? Rose did all that. He gave up. He conceded victory to the enemy, all because he couldn’t be the one to commit genocide a second time. So Rose did it for him, and at what cost? To herself, as well as all the other potential consequences he’s already identified? That still remains to be seen, but it’s not something he’s got time to deal with now.
Time. A resource that’s in very limited quantity right now. The Time Lord’s run out of time.
“What... what happened?”
She’s sitting up now; Jack squeezes his shoulder briefly, then goes to her, helping her to her feet, arm around her waist to support her. “You okay, Rose?”
“Yeah, just kind of... woozy. ‘S weird.” She comes to the console, standing beside Jack, leaning on him. “What happened? The Daleks...?”
“What do you remember?”
She frowns, obviously trying to concentrate. “I dunno... I was back home, wasn’t I? No, I was in the TARDIS.” She stammers through a confused and very incomplete account. It’s clear she remembers almost nothing. Good.
And she seems fine, too, from what he can see - although, once his regeneration’s complete and they’re somewhere safe, he’ll need to check her over thoroughly. After all, if taking the Vortex into himself for mere seconds is killing him, what will it have done to her?
He offers her a complete lie as an explanation. It shows how confused her mind still is that she doesn’t challenge him on it immediately. Again, good. There isn’t time. He’s got to try to prepare her, at least. It’s not fair to leave all the explanations to Jack.
Explaining isn’t easy, though. Especially when he also needs to say goodbye, and do it all in the space of about two minutes. How can he possibly tell her, in that short time, how much she’s meant to him? What getting to know her, travelling with her, has done to help him climb out of the pit of despair he was in when he met her? And yet he has to try, because there’s no guarantee that the next him will think to say it. Will believe it’s important.
But he’s looking at her and all he can think of are irrelevancies, such as everything he wanted to do with her, places he wanted to take her, and he interrupts his attempt at an explanation to tell her that. And he remembers, too, that he kissed her, though thankfully he’s got enough sense left not to mention that. She doesn’t remember it. Better that way.
Jack’s stepped back, away from the console, and is leaning next to the TARDIS door, pretty much where he stood the very first time he came into the ship. He’s giving them some privacy for this. Considerate of him. Especially since he’s not going to get his own farewell. There won’t be time.
Though he knows. Jack knows. Right?
Even still...
He can spare a moment. Turning his gaze onto Jack, he waits until the Captain looks back at him. “Always bigger on the inside, you were.” He grins briefly as he takes in Jack’s shock at the comment, but he can’t give him any more time. He’s got to tell Rose what’s about to happen. Clearly, unambiguously, no more procrastinating.
It’s getting closer. He can feel it, the burning, eating away inside him. The flicker of gold across his skin is getting more obvious. And the pain’s going to get much, much worse very soon.
Yet he’s still wasting what little time is left, wittering on about never making sense again, having two heads - or no head; about wanting to take her to Barcelona, stupid jokes about dogs with no noses. And she hasn’t a clue what he’s talking about.
So he tries to make a bit more sense, at least trying to give her some idea of what to expect. “It’s a bit dodgy, this process. You never know what you’re gonna end up with - Aaah!”
He almost bends double in pain, and she tries to run to him; he has to order her back, away from him. And there’s no time to couch it in careful language now. He has to be blunt. “Every cell in my body’s dyin’,” he tells her.
She looks stricken. No surprise to him now. He always knew that he cared enough about her to die for her; the shock of the last hour is that she cares as deeply about him. That Jack does, too, he strongly suspects.
“Can’t you do something?”
“Doin’ it now,” he manages to say before another wave of pain hits him and he’s bracing himself against the console. One deep breath, and he’s got the pain under control for the moment. Now he’s got to explain, and make it fast.
“Time Lords have this little trick. Sort of a way of cheatin’ death. Except...” He raises his head from the console and looks straight at her. “It means I’m gonna change. An’ I’m not gonna see you again. Not like this. Not with this daft old face.”
There are tears shimmering in her eyes now. He’d have them in his too, except it’s difficult for anything other than the pain to register. “And before I go,” he continues - he’s got to tell her this, if nothing else. Jack can take care of the rest.
“Don’t say that!” she exclaims, a choke in her voice.
“Rose. Before I go, I just wanna tell you, you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic.” So much more than that, but there’s no time. Another intake of breath, and he manages to summon a wide smile. “An’ d’you know what? So was I!”
This is it. It’s upon him. And his last conscious memory, before the flames engulf him, is of Jack running to Rose, pulling her into his arms, holding her tightly as she sobs, and Jack’s stricken gaze on him.
***
tbc