should've done something but ive done it enough...
so last night i had a nice decently long talk with ren. something i havent done in the longest time. it was nice talking to her.. shes a good seed from the tree of life :) She and i were talking about how self conscious i am. and how she used to be.. or may still be not quite sure lol. i honestly hate looking in mirrors i try and avoid them as much as possible. kenny told me that only ugly ppl dont carry around mirrors. well yes thats true in my case :) i hate it. i hate being in my skin. i want so badly to be comfortable in my own skin ah i realli do. I want more than anything to atleast have some self respect and so many otehr things. but i dunno where to start. i have so much holdin me back. blah. its annoying. i wish i could just be me and accept it and be comfortable with it. but i cant. some ppl see themselves as something that they arent. for example.. a very thin and just beautiful person may honestly think that they're the ugliest thing on the planet. with so many flaws. we're our own worst/toughest cridicts and its a pain in the ass. ren was commenting on all my nice qualities last night and just trying to reassure me that im not the person i think of myself to be. i hate myself,i truly do. for so0o many reasons that i dont wish to list.lol. But im not sure wut im trying to say or if im even making sense. i just wanted to let that out i guess. peace one love niqqa- me
"there she goes .. so beautiful with bruises on her ego."
"there she goes .. so beautiful with bruises on her ego."