my icon is P.I.M.P.
yea so i fucking love cauterize. they're the next best thing right next to my thursday. fyi.. im having thursday's children. well i was just thinkin about shit and lookin in my past journal entries from my old journal from way back when. and wow.. let me tell you. i was a screwed up kid. i was wikid suicidle and just always drinkin and doin drugs. i would do everything but smoke. psh wow im stupid,always doin everythign but the obvious.but yea i was just sucha mess. lookin for happiness anywhere/anyway i could. if it was thru drugs and drinking or just sex and flirting. i mean now i just drink cuz its fun but before i thought of it as a way out. a way to get away from the world and my problems. i would cut like there was no tomorrow. unfortunetly i have bad scars all over my arm now. and they're just reminders of how i once was before. i rememeber i would OD so much that i now have permanent kidney/liver damage. oo man just so much shit. id write suicide notes. i even attempted suicide a few times. but either my lil brother walked in my room. or the rope/wire wasnt thick enough. whoa yea writing thsi makes me feel wikid psycho. but im not anymore :) things were realli rough for me. and me ofcourse never accepted ne help from anyone and sed everything was fine when it clearly wasnt. wow i just feel soo much better. im finally content with life and the things in it. its been a long time since ive been able to say that. come to think of it i dont think ive ever felt that way. yea i have my problems but i manage to deal just like everyone else u know? no need to get all emo about something that can easily be taken care of. well not so much easily but those probs wont always be there. i now have the greatest group of friends who i couldnt do without. my fam is well my fam i cant escape them as much as i wish i could i cant. summers comin up and im just so content with things. ive never felt this way. im glad i finally do. :) life is good people. life is very good. that is all .- me