Hot N Cold
Of course, I have thought nonstop about M since yesterday.
There are many different reasons for this. I am almost frantic for some action. Either M possesses most of the qualities I look for in aforementioned action partner, or I'm trying to convince myself he does - out of growing desperation. I am wondering how/if we'll connect again, as we do not have each other's phone numbers and he is not on Bookface. I could easily think of things we could message about. I did text with Em today, and she mentioned nothing. She's the only way for him to contact me, so he must not have told her anything. I am concerned he misread my signals, as I am just terrible at sending them.
I also feel like I've had more fella interest lately. All last year it was just douchebags and SP. Suddenly, I feel I've hit a new tier of men folk, and there's more of a mutual interest. They're still not great, but they do seem to be of slightly higher quality. I think it might be my blonde hair. No joke.
I think I'm just lonely, in my way. I am craving physical interaction. I am unhappy with such a lengthy explanation, and no one I know is on the same page. I am still madly floundering. So, I want a presence to help absorb the chaos. Also, I'm down to one cat, which has never happened before.
M really could be a suitable fill in. We couldn't let things go for too long because we're not long-term compatible (unless his personality changes significantly). However, I do enjoy his company. He's quiet, and relatively easy to talk to. I cannot pull him up in life, but if he could hold his own we'd be all right. I just need him to go ahead and ask Em's permission, and then get a hold of me.
Though for all I know she could be against the idea, and none of this would matter.
In other news, SP e-mailed me out of nowhere with: "I'm going to be gone for much of September. Before I leave, do you need cash to cover a doctor visit?"
And coincidentally, I had just uttered the thought "He probably just never thinks about me at all." when I passed his CTA stop (at which I always think about him), and pondered sending him an update on floopy heart earlier today.
He is inexplicable.
There are many different reasons for this. I am almost frantic for some action. Either M possesses most of the qualities I look for in aforementioned action partner, or I'm trying to convince myself he does - out of growing desperation. I am wondering how/if we'll connect again, as we do not have each other's phone numbers and he is not on Bookface. I could easily think of things we could message about. I did text with Em today, and she mentioned nothing. She's the only way for him to contact me, so he must not have told her anything. I am concerned he misread my signals, as I am just terrible at sending them.
I also feel like I've had more fella interest lately. All last year it was just douchebags and SP. Suddenly, I feel I've hit a new tier of men folk, and there's more of a mutual interest. They're still not great, but they do seem to be of slightly higher quality. I think it might be my blonde hair. No joke.
I think I'm just lonely, in my way. I am craving physical interaction. I am unhappy with such a lengthy explanation, and no one I know is on the same page. I am still madly floundering. So, I want a presence to help absorb the chaos. Also, I'm down to one cat, which has never happened before.
M really could be a suitable fill in. We couldn't let things go for too long because we're not long-term compatible (unless his personality changes significantly). However, I do enjoy his company. He's quiet, and relatively easy to talk to. I cannot pull him up in life, but if he could hold his own we'd be all right. I just need him to go ahead and ask Em's permission, and then get a hold of me.
Though for all I know she could be against the idea, and none of this would matter.
In other news, SP e-mailed me out of nowhere with: "I'm going to be gone for much of September. Before I leave, do you need cash to cover a doctor visit?"
And coincidentally, I had just uttered the thought "He probably just never thinks about me at all." when I passed his CTA stop (at which I always think about him), and pondered sending him an update on floopy heart earlier today.
He is inexplicable.