on those moments. yeah. you know which ones.
So I was talking to roommate M today after dinner while she was putting away the dishes. I'd just finished eating and I was wandering around the apartment looking for entertainment. "The Doctors" was on TV, and we were semi-watching it, making disparaging commentary on the relative expertise and intelligence of the panel of doctors. For no apparent reason, I chose that moment to pounce - yes, literally - on M's cat Jasper.
Here's the thing. Jasper's a demon. Perhaps the devil himself. He has a very feline sense of humor (read: he likes to bite and scratch to show his amusement; also he likes to pop out of nowhere when I'm watching Supernatural or similar scary things, just because he can). Also he's the only cat I've ever been allergic to. Ever. It's uncanny. And apparently he can use this as a weapon? I swear he turns the allergen on and off, so that I'll be fine around him for weeks without taking a single Claritin, and then BAM, one day I'm crawling into the kitchen with puffy, watery eyes. Evil, I swear to Someone he is.
Anyway. Pouncing. So I pounced on Jasper, who was lying in what I will admit was a relatively innocent pose on the couch. I trapped him with my arms and nuzzled the top of his head in a very exaggerated (and insincere) display of affection. He made some cat-noise of annoyance, to which I responded by kissing his head repeatedly.
"Oh, Jasper," I said, swooning. "I love you, yes I do." He chewed on my arm for a bit to show his opinion of that nonsense. And nonsense it was. I was on a roll, too - I kissed him some more and declared, "No, I really, really do. I love you so much, Jasper."
He glared up at me with baleful yellow eyes that said, Get off me, human. Now.
I sighed at his lack of reciprocation. "I hate you," I admitted to him as I stood up and went back to the kitchen. "I love you and I hate you. It's an intense feeling."
M chose that moment to turn around and look at me. Unfortunately, I happened to be looking at her at the same time; we made eye contact as my words faded away into the ether. There was a long, really strange moment where neither of us said a word, though we were both thinking the same thing.
Awkward.
Finally M blinked and said, "What?"
"I, uh." I kicked the floor a little, embarrassed. "I wasn't - you know - I was talking to Jasper."
"Oh," she said after another pause. "I thought you were. But then I turned and you were looking right at me, so I was like..." She trailed off expressively.
"Yeah." I shook my head. "Bad timing, I think. I swear I didn't mean you, though," I added quickly. She nodded her acceptance of that and went back to putting dishes away. I crept off to my room, shooting a glower at Jasper, who is always, always at the root of these weird moments. He looked positively smug at my social ineptitude.
Damn bastard demon cat.
Here's the thing. Jasper's a demon. Perhaps the devil himself. He has a very feline sense of humor (read: he likes to bite and scratch to show his amusement; also he likes to pop out of nowhere when I'm watching Supernatural or similar scary things, just because he can). Also he's the only cat I've ever been allergic to. Ever. It's uncanny. And apparently he can use this as a weapon? I swear he turns the allergen on and off, so that I'll be fine around him for weeks without taking a single Claritin, and then BAM, one day I'm crawling into the kitchen with puffy, watery eyes. Evil, I swear to Someone he is.
Anyway. Pouncing. So I pounced on Jasper, who was lying in what I will admit was a relatively innocent pose on the couch. I trapped him with my arms and nuzzled the top of his head in a very exaggerated (and insincere) display of affection. He made some cat-noise of annoyance, to which I responded by kissing his head repeatedly.
"Oh, Jasper," I said, swooning. "I love you, yes I do." He chewed on my arm for a bit to show his opinion of that nonsense. And nonsense it was. I was on a roll, too - I kissed him some more and declared, "No, I really, really do. I love you so much, Jasper."
He glared up at me with baleful yellow eyes that said, Get off me, human. Now.
I sighed at his lack of reciprocation. "I hate you," I admitted to him as I stood up and went back to the kitchen. "I love you and I hate you. It's an intense feeling."
M chose that moment to turn around and look at me. Unfortunately, I happened to be looking at her at the same time; we made eye contact as my words faded away into the ether. There was a long, really strange moment where neither of us said a word, though we were both thinking the same thing.
Awkward.
Finally M blinked and said, "What?"
"I, uh." I kicked the floor a little, embarrassed. "I wasn't - you know - I was talking to Jasper."
"Oh," she said after another pause. "I thought you were. But then I turned and you were looking right at me, so I was like..." She trailed off expressively.
"Yeah." I shook my head. "Bad timing, I think. I swear I didn't mean you, though," I added quickly. She nodded her acceptance of that and went back to putting dishes away. I crept off to my room, shooting a glower at Jasper, who is always, always at the root of these weird moments. He looked positively smug at my social ineptitude.
Damn bastard demon cat.