(no subject)
i read something that ryan aircraft wrote to billy in his journal yesterday, and it made me cry. the words that ryan wrote were both happy and sad, but i didn't cry tears of happiness, nor ones of sadness. but mostly ones of quiet understanding. of knowing what it feels like. and the sad thing is, if ryan feels this way, then i'm probably going to feel this way forever because ryan is so much better than me, with so many more friends, and so much more going on in his future. i don't feel this saddness so much for myself, but instead for ryan because i understand and i don't want anyone to ever feel like that and i don't even know him.
i've been thinking a lot and all i want is for the people who are my friends to be happy because then, i'll be happy, too. i really haven't spoken with or seen any of you in a really long time, but i hope you all know that i think about you everyday and hope that your days are going well. and i hope that no one goes through a moment of saddness or lonliness or anger any longer than they have to. i hope everyone has her health, and i hope everyone has his home. i hope everyone is more happy than they are sad. i hope you're warm and i hope you think of me. i really miss you, all. it's been lonely.
i've been thinking a lot and all i want is for the people who are my friends to be happy because then, i'll be happy, too. i really haven't spoken with or seen any of you in a really long time, but i hope you all know that i think about you everyday and hope that your days are going well. and i hope that no one goes through a moment of saddness or lonliness or anger any longer than they have to. i hope everyone has her health, and i hope everyone has his home. i hope everyone is more happy than they are sad. i hope you're warm and i hope you think of me. i really miss you, all. it's been lonely.