We're smiling but we're close to tears
tz thinks I should use the lyric "I wont worry my life away" but nyeh Im in ): mood now.
narrative below, boring stuffzxz!
monday
lunch with yeweiii (: omg somehow we lost quite abit of our retardedness that day idk why >< maybe hes too shagged from his army run, and i just recovered from weekend drama and so my eyes were swollen. but its still a good chat nonetheless, our talk centred alot on unis and stuff since yewei is still making his decisions and stuff lol it feels like Im the senior suddenly!! but I miss the times we get so retarded and laugh so hard! ):
met up with horny boi xD came to my house blah blah blah and then left home for dinner before daddy came home. made a spontaneous trip to bishan where we decided to eat sakae buffet but when we sat down the stupid waitress said no buffet!! we felt so cheated and walked out ahhaah. and then we decided then we kinda already prepped our stomachs for a buffet so heck it, we travelled down to toapayoh where there was sakae buffet and satisfied our cravings hahaha. but then our performance was poooorrr!!!! and I kinda wasnt even full cos tz ate all my rice hahah!
tuesday
queued 2.5 hours for siacy's halo thingum!!! so much for half an hour, when we arrived I didnt see anyone at first and was like "oh yayy good" and then WE SAW IT. THE QUEUE. and we wanted to die. well the video ame posted on youtube is quite self explanatory. but idk man the staff were so nice? first they gave out water, peach tea and whatnot and I thought that was already quite nice of them! and guess what, they started distributing MAC BURGERS NUGGETS KFC POLAR PIES soonafter, omg they got some huge crazy fund or what ><
dinner with sisterhood xD haha need I say more with this group of dearest classmates/sisters hahahah xD steamboat at bugis, which turned into a fisheye camwhore frenzy HAHA CHECK OUT OUR PROFILE PICS ON FB! some havent changed yet boo ): but omg we laughed like mad, ate like mad. halfway through I just wanted to cry cos looking at this group of people, sighhh I started to imagine cheeks and I gone, and them meeting up, wondered how the atmosphere would be like, if they would meet up as often still etc etc.
ellie called, which made me emo mood worse. the aircon and stupid emo chinese songs made everything WORSE I WAS IN 100% EMO NEMO MODE.
wednesday
day out with aunt :D havent gone out/talked to her proper in a while, its so funny how two people live in the same house but can hardly meet each other. shes always gone in the morning and when shes back home, Im in my parents room using the laptop while shes up in her room watching da chang jin over and over again she never gets sick of it xD
I HEART MY AUNT. she managed to get my mind off all the emo shit while we were out and she kept teasing me about ____ cos I told her about the meetup and she doesnt believe im not over! and yes talk talk talk haha we can go on forever (:
but when I got home, the emo mood strikes again. went up to her room and helped her settle skype on her laptop and used that chance to thank her for everything shes done for me all these years and apologise for all the shit and hurtful things I said to her in fits of anger >< and then I started crying like some shit.
Im like 95% done packing, except for my pillow, rgs doll (hahaha), facial cream that I use every night, foodstuff. and then attempt to write letters tmr afternoon.
the past three days have been nothing but heart wrenching. like what I said in earlier posts, its really heartwarming to keep meeting people I love back to back but each meeting is just so bittersweet I really cant take it anymore.
can I dont do this anymore? can I just admit defeat? Im weak okay, I really really cant leave. Im lousy alright, but seriously, now Im wondering if I should have stayed. all the frenzy and struggle and madness about aiming to go overseas last year seem so ridiculous.
and guess what, half of me is still thinking this is a temporary thing, like its just a short exchange programme or an occasion that I have to leave singapore lol. its like how I look forward to the next time Im back and so I feel better. but I didnt realise that after Im back, I'll be gone again and with each departure, the separation is longer since I wont fly back as much. and it still doesnt occur to me that its a 3 year thing and plus its freaking UNI. lol I guess I have been so occupied with packing meeting people emoing I forgot that SCHOOL IS STARTING HAHA GOOD JOB.
omg am I making sense whatevs bye.
narrative below, boring stuffzxz!
monday
lunch with yeweiii (: omg somehow we lost quite abit of our retardedness that day idk why >< maybe hes too shagged from his army run, and i just recovered from weekend drama and so my eyes were swollen. but its still a good chat nonetheless, our talk centred alot on unis and stuff since yewei is still making his decisions and stuff lol it feels like Im the senior suddenly!! but I miss the times we get so retarded and laugh so hard! ):
met up with horny boi xD came to my house blah blah blah and then left home for dinner before daddy came home. made a spontaneous trip to bishan where we decided to eat sakae buffet but when we sat down the stupid waitress said no buffet!! we felt so cheated and walked out ahhaah. and then we decided then we kinda already prepped our stomachs for a buffet so heck it, we travelled down to toapayoh where there was sakae buffet and satisfied our cravings hahaha. but then our performance was poooorrr!!!! and I kinda wasnt even full cos tz ate all my rice hahah!
tuesday
queued 2.5 hours for siacy's halo thingum!!! so much for half an hour, when we arrived I didnt see anyone at first and was like "oh yayy good" and then WE SAW IT. THE QUEUE. and we wanted to die. well the video ame posted on youtube is quite self explanatory. but idk man the staff were so nice? first they gave out water, peach tea and whatnot and I thought that was already quite nice of them! and guess what, they started distributing MAC BURGERS NUGGETS KFC POLAR PIES soonafter, omg they got some huge crazy fund or what ><
dinner with sisterhood xD haha need I say more with this group of dearest classmates/sisters hahahah xD steamboat at bugis, which turned into a fisheye camwhore frenzy HAHA CHECK OUT OUR PROFILE PICS ON FB! some havent changed yet boo ): but omg we laughed like mad, ate like mad. halfway through I just wanted to cry cos looking at this group of people, sighhh I started to imagine cheeks and I gone, and them meeting up, wondered how the atmosphere would be like, if they would meet up as often still etc etc.
ellie called, which made me emo mood worse. the aircon and stupid emo chinese songs made everything WORSE I WAS IN 100% EMO NEMO MODE.
wednesday
day out with aunt :D havent gone out/talked to her proper in a while, its so funny how two people live in the same house but can hardly meet each other. shes always gone in the morning and when shes back home, Im in my parents room using the laptop while shes up in her room watching da chang jin over and over again she never gets sick of it xD
I HEART MY AUNT. she managed to get my mind off all the emo shit while we were out and she kept teasing me about ____ cos I told her about the meetup and she doesnt believe im not over! and yes talk talk talk haha we can go on forever (:
but when I got home, the emo mood strikes again. went up to her room and helped her settle skype on her laptop and used that chance to thank her for everything shes done for me all these years and apologise for all the shit and hurtful things I said to her in fits of anger >< and then I started crying like some shit.
Im like 95% done packing, except for my pillow, rgs doll (hahaha), facial cream that I use every night, foodstuff. and then attempt to write letters tmr afternoon.
the past three days have been nothing but heart wrenching. like what I said in earlier posts, its really heartwarming to keep meeting people I love back to back but each meeting is just so bittersweet I really cant take it anymore.
can I dont do this anymore? can I just admit defeat? Im weak okay, I really really cant leave. Im lousy alright, but seriously, now Im wondering if I should have stayed. all the frenzy and struggle and madness about aiming to go overseas last year seem so ridiculous.
and guess what, half of me is still thinking this is a temporary thing, like its just a short exchange programme or an occasion that I have to leave singapore lol. its like how I look forward to the next time Im back and so I feel better. but I didnt realise that after Im back, I'll be gone again and with each departure, the separation is longer since I wont fly back as much. and it still doesnt occur to me that its a 3 year thing and plus its freaking UNI. lol I guess I have been so occupied with packing meeting people emoing I forgot that SCHOOL IS STARTING HAHA GOOD JOB.
omg am I making sense whatevs bye.