outta breath.

[weirdassdude]

my mind is wandering back to a time i thought was supposed to be surreal. i mean, it was fake wasn't it?? yet i keep having moments where i stop and think and sometimes it can be too much like to where i can hyperventilate. i'll forever wish i had a time machine. i swear. i wanna decide right whether or not i'll be able to handle this or not. can i fake it or will i break again?? it's at the same time isn't it?? that's how it's supposed to go. my mind is so clear right now i actually don't have a million things going on. hearing his voice made me realize that's what it was then. the silence. it's still there. it's so relaxing and calming my brain is shut off. there's no other world. maybe that's what it was. i stayed on the phone too long. the silence built so when i got back to the world- i had a lot to say. i still do. i mean shit, i am pissed. really. it's like there's no emotion for awhile.
i wish so badly man.
you have no fucking idea.