Movies: Pathfinder
I watched the trailers for this movie with some interest. Not enough interest to pay for it in the theater, but the plot sounded cool (Viking boy raised by native Americans defends his adopted tribe when the Vikings come back). I was also intrigued, of course, by the fact that they kept saying, in voice-over no less, "Rated R for strong, bloody violence." Well, now you're talking my language!
So I rented it. The unrated version, of course. I figured it would have even more strong, bloody violence. Yay.
The movie is beautifully shot. It's just lovely to look at. Most of it takes place in shaded Northeastern forests. It starts out with a bang--the Vikings attack, then leave behind a little boy who shows an act of weakness (he won't slaughter someone on command). He's taken in by a kindly native woman.
Fifteen years later, he's called "Ghost" because of his white skin, but he's a fully accepted member of the tribe. He's played by some kinda cute dude called Karl Urban (who is not evidently Keith Urban, because that's someone else.)
So of course, the Vikings come back. They slaughter Ghost's tribe, then move on to the next one. Ghost tries to lead them away, and ends up having to battle them, and so on. Blah blah blah Ginger.
It's not as bad as all that, actually. It might have been pretty good, if they'd cut about 40 minutes out of it. Of course, it was full of historical inaccuracies. The Vikings were huge hairy, filthy guys who looked like Hell's Angels with no cycles. In truth, Vikings were meticulous about their grooming. Large and hairy, yes, but they were always bathed, brushed, combed and braided.
Okay, I'm a history geek. So sue me.
The lead Viking was Clancy Brown. Yay. Clancy Brown always makes me happy.
Back to the movie. What ensues is kind of like a cross between the original Arnold "Conan" movie and "Home Alone." Hopelessly outnumbered, Ghost and the Indians find tricky ways to clobber the Vikings. That's amusing. But the strong, bloody violence? I have to say, I was a bit disappointed. There was probably an equal amount of blood and violence in "Braveheart." (Remember, back before Mel Gibson came out of the closet as batshit crazy?) There were plenty of shots of people getting hit in the back of the head with morning stars, and the ensuing halo of blood. There were plenty of hacked-off limbs and heads. But in context of battle, it just wasn't that horrifying. Torture porn movies are more disturbing, imo. It's way worse to watch a tied-up person being attacked by a wacko with a power-drill than quick-cut scenes of battle, with or without flying heads. The blood was also kind of a muted color, as was the whole movie.
And let's talk cultural anthropology for a moment, shall we? These Vikings seemed utterly bent on destroying every Native American tribe they could possibly get to. They didn't kidnap women. They didn't get any treasure--the Indians didn't have any. They just wanted to kill everybody. Historically, not a Viking thing to do. It was either loot, plunder, and move on, or loot, plunder and colonize. Genocide for no good reason didn't tend to be high on their list of things to do. They were more practical than that.
Yes, I AM spending too much time blabbing about a fairly boring movie. Sorry. I tend to type too much when I get nervous.
Overall, not a total waste of time, I guess. But nothing to write home about either. The Vikings didn't even make anyone into a blood eagle. Geez.
So I rented it. The unrated version, of course. I figured it would have even more strong, bloody violence. Yay.
The movie is beautifully shot. It's just lovely to look at. Most of it takes place in shaded Northeastern forests. It starts out with a bang--the Vikings attack, then leave behind a little boy who shows an act of weakness (he won't slaughter someone on command). He's taken in by a kindly native woman.
Fifteen years later, he's called "Ghost" because of his white skin, but he's a fully accepted member of the tribe. He's played by some kinda cute dude called Karl Urban (who is not evidently Keith Urban, because that's someone else.)
So of course, the Vikings come back. They slaughter Ghost's tribe, then move on to the next one. Ghost tries to lead them away, and ends up having to battle them, and so on. Blah blah blah Ginger.
It's not as bad as all that, actually. It might have been pretty good, if they'd cut about 40 minutes out of it. Of course, it was full of historical inaccuracies. The Vikings were huge hairy, filthy guys who looked like Hell's Angels with no cycles. In truth, Vikings were meticulous about their grooming. Large and hairy, yes, but they were always bathed, brushed, combed and braided.
Okay, I'm a history geek. So sue me.
The lead Viking was Clancy Brown. Yay. Clancy Brown always makes me happy.
Back to the movie. What ensues is kind of like a cross between the original Arnold "Conan" movie and "Home Alone." Hopelessly outnumbered, Ghost and the Indians find tricky ways to clobber the Vikings. That's amusing. But the strong, bloody violence? I have to say, I was a bit disappointed. There was probably an equal amount of blood and violence in "Braveheart." (Remember, back before Mel Gibson came out of the closet as batshit crazy?) There were plenty of shots of people getting hit in the back of the head with morning stars, and the ensuing halo of blood. There were plenty of hacked-off limbs and heads. But in context of battle, it just wasn't that horrifying. Torture porn movies are more disturbing, imo. It's way worse to watch a tied-up person being attacked by a wacko with a power-drill than quick-cut scenes of battle, with or without flying heads. The blood was also kind of a muted color, as was the whole movie.
And let's talk cultural anthropology for a moment, shall we? These Vikings seemed utterly bent on destroying every Native American tribe they could possibly get to. They didn't kidnap women. They didn't get any treasure--the Indians didn't have any. They just wanted to kill everybody. Historically, not a Viking thing to do. It was either loot, plunder, and move on, or loot, plunder and colonize. Genocide for no good reason didn't tend to be high on their list of things to do. They were more practical than that.
Yes, I AM spending too much time blabbing about a fairly boring movie. Sorry. I tend to type too much when I get nervous.
Overall, not a total waste of time, I guess. But nothing to write home about either. The Vikings didn't even make anyone into a blood eagle. Geez.