Horrorfest 2007 Recap
I've blogged about some of the movies from last year's Horrorfest, I believe, but they're out on DVD now, so I feel compelled to review them as a body. So to speak. So here they are, in the order that I liked them.
1. Mulberry Street
This was the festival standout. Set in New York, it's a variation on the "infections zombies" theme. But the infectious zombies are, uh, giant mutant rat people. No really. And it's not a campy movie--it's terrific. Beautifully written, masterfully acted, with deep characters you actually care about. Sure, it's low budget. But it's a fine example of what good filmmakers can do with very little money. This is the only movie from Horrorfest 2007 that I purchased. Excellent ingredients aside, there's just something special about this movie that I can't quite put my finger on. I absolutely loved it, and I don't really fall that hard for a flick very often.
2. Borderland
Absolutely horrifying movie based on the 1989 cult murders in Matamoros, Mexico. It's a fictionalization of the final murder in the case, but it hits a lot of details with absolutely hideous accuracy. This is not an easy movie to watch. There's graphic torture, machete murders, and other seriously icky stuff, and it's played with absolute deadly seriousness. It makes the "Hostel" movies look like episodes of Scooby-Doo. But I didn't find the violence gratuitous. It's just a painfully accurate portrayal of what these psycho drug dealers were up to. (Actually, the facts in the case were even worse. I think only a Korean filmmaker would have the nerve to make THAT movie.) Oh, and a bonus--Sean Astin is in the movie, playing a really, really bad guy. At some point, you'll find yourself thinking "Mr. Samwise, you're behaving VERY badly." This was a terrific film, but I didn't buy it. Cuz I never want to see it again. Yikes.
3. Nightmare Man
Goofy flick about a mask that contains a horrible demon which may or may not be real, and may or may not be killing a houseful of attractive young people. It's pretty silly, but there's some witty writing and fun moments. Definitely a popcorn flick. Watch it if it comes on cable, it's not a total waste of your life. Just partially.
4. Crazy Eights
I had really high hopes for this film. It's about a group of young, attractive people (of course) who realize that they were all held against their will in some kind of creepy medical facility when they were little kids. One of them dies, so they all go back to the old hospital to investigate. It starts out pretty spooky. Then at one point, I literally gasped. I could see where they were going with the movie! It was a brave, shocking, and totally unique plot twist! WOW! I was so excited! Then, uh, it didn't go there at all. It just kind of circled the drain for awhile, before ending with a pathetic whimper. Severely disappointing, to say the least. But hey, I'm keeping that plot twist I evidently pulled out of my ass in the middle of the movie. I'm gonna use it in a story myself!
5. The Deaths of Ian Stone
High-concept semi-horror flick that rapidly devolves into total incoherence. It started out interestingly enough. The obnoxiously pretty title character goes through his rather boring day, sees something scary, and is abruptly and brutally killed. The next morning, he wakes up in a different place, with a different job. He's still Ian, but everything else is different. Again, he gets slaughtered. The poor SOB finally gets a clue and starts trying to investigate what's going on with him. That's when everything falls apart. The movie becomes a weird horror/bad science fiction hybrid, with absolutely no internal logic. I mean, if you're going to come up with a completely insane alternate worldview, fine. But it's got to have enough internal rules to be believable. This thing just went all over the place. The only reason it's not lower on the list was because of some nice cinematography and good-looking effects. Which just goes to show that some indy filmmakers who HAVE money still can't make a decent film.
6. Tooth and Nail
Completely stupid post-Apocalyptic would-be slasher flick. Civilization as we know it ends when we run out of gasoline. Well okay, I'll buy that. I did in "Mad Max." A band of brave survivors have holed up in a hospital, where they think they're safe. They plan to start a new civilization. Oh, and evidently if there's an Apocalyptic event, you're required to change your name to something ridiculous like "Viper" or "Torino" or "Neon." Not one of the characters is even faintly interesting, or even likable. Then, of course, the cannibals show up. And of course, they dress like extras from "Mad Max." Okay, all right, I was a LITTLE bit excited to see Michael Madsen chop some dude up with an ax. But that wasn't enough to save this godawful, silly-ass movie. The extremely cute Rachel Miner has a major role (ha ha). Her acting hasn't improved since she was in the 2006 Horrorfest turkey "Penny Dreadful." I will admit that the third-from-the-last scene is kind of fun, if you're into girls kicking ass and splattering blood. But it's followed by a completely unnecessary voice-over scene, and then topped off with a pathetic would-be "gotcha." Hey. If you want cannibals, go watch "Ravenous" again. Don't put yourself through "Tooth and Nail."
7. Unearthed
Low-rent Alien ripoff in the desert. Cliched stupid characters do stupid things. Dumb CG alien-thingy kills them. Much CG blood flies around. There's an attempt to create a complex character in the form of the young and attractive alcoholic girl sheriff. It doesn't work. Russel Means is in this movie for about ten minutes. I hope he got paid well.
8. Lake Dead
This one was just painful. Tremendously attractive young people go to an isolated motel one of them has inherited. The "lake" is a big cement pond where the local homicidal mutant weirdos like to throw their victims. AWFUL writing. AWFUL acting. Lots of rape and murder and more rape. There's one good line at the very end of the movie. It is SO not worth watching the thing just to hear it.
I probably won't go to Horrorfest in 2008, if there is one. I'll just wait for the DVDs to come out, and rent them. For one thing, Horrorfest is the most disorganized event I've ever encountered, and I've been going to science fiction conventions since I was 9. For another, I don't feel like paying ten bucks a pop to see a whole lot of absolute crap. The ratio of crap to gold was bad in '06, and even worse in '07. I'm really, REALLY glad I saw Mulberry Street on a big screen. I don't feel that way about any of the other movies.
FURthermore, the only theater showing the movies this year was in Renton. I couldn't get any of my Seattle friends to go there wtih me (nor do I blame them). The movies were sparsely attended--sometimes as few as four people in the theater, counting me. At least the Seattle theater in '06 was packed every night, which made for an entertaining experience even when the movie sucked.
What could save Horrorfest? I think they should condense it down to fewer cities, and make it a weekend-long event like the H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival. Add in some talks and presentations by actors and writers and filmmakers. I'd travel to another state for something like that.
I love Horrorfest in theory. But in practice, it's really kind of lame.
1. Mulberry Street
This was the festival standout. Set in New York, it's a variation on the "infections zombies" theme. But the infectious zombies are, uh, giant mutant rat people. No really. And it's not a campy movie--it's terrific. Beautifully written, masterfully acted, with deep characters you actually care about. Sure, it's low budget. But it's a fine example of what good filmmakers can do with very little money. This is the only movie from Horrorfest 2007 that I purchased. Excellent ingredients aside, there's just something special about this movie that I can't quite put my finger on. I absolutely loved it, and I don't really fall that hard for a flick very often.
2. Borderland
Absolutely horrifying movie based on the 1989 cult murders in Matamoros, Mexico. It's a fictionalization of the final murder in the case, but it hits a lot of details with absolutely hideous accuracy. This is not an easy movie to watch. There's graphic torture, machete murders, and other seriously icky stuff, and it's played with absolute deadly seriousness. It makes the "Hostel" movies look like episodes of Scooby-Doo. But I didn't find the violence gratuitous. It's just a painfully accurate portrayal of what these psycho drug dealers were up to. (Actually, the facts in the case were even worse. I think only a Korean filmmaker would have the nerve to make THAT movie.) Oh, and a bonus--Sean Astin is in the movie, playing a really, really bad guy. At some point, you'll find yourself thinking "Mr. Samwise, you're behaving VERY badly." This was a terrific film, but I didn't buy it. Cuz I never want to see it again. Yikes.
3. Nightmare Man
Goofy flick about a mask that contains a horrible demon which may or may not be real, and may or may not be killing a houseful of attractive young people. It's pretty silly, but there's some witty writing and fun moments. Definitely a popcorn flick. Watch it if it comes on cable, it's not a total waste of your life. Just partially.
4. Crazy Eights
I had really high hopes for this film. It's about a group of young, attractive people (of course) who realize that they were all held against their will in some kind of creepy medical facility when they were little kids. One of them dies, so they all go back to the old hospital to investigate. It starts out pretty spooky. Then at one point, I literally gasped. I could see where they were going with the movie! It was a brave, shocking, and totally unique plot twist! WOW! I was so excited! Then, uh, it didn't go there at all. It just kind of circled the drain for awhile, before ending with a pathetic whimper. Severely disappointing, to say the least. But hey, I'm keeping that plot twist I evidently pulled out of my ass in the middle of the movie. I'm gonna use it in a story myself!
5. The Deaths of Ian Stone
High-concept semi-horror flick that rapidly devolves into total incoherence. It started out interestingly enough. The obnoxiously pretty title character goes through his rather boring day, sees something scary, and is abruptly and brutally killed. The next morning, he wakes up in a different place, with a different job. He's still Ian, but everything else is different. Again, he gets slaughtered. The poor SOB finally gets a clue and starts trying to investigate what's going on with him. That's when everything falls apart. The movie becomes a weird horror/bad science fiction hybrid, with absolutely no internal logic. I mean, if you're going to come up with a completely insane alternate worldview, fine. But it's got to have enough internal rules to be believable. This thing just went all over the place. The only reason it's not lower on the list was because of some nice cinematography and good-looking effects. Which just goes to show that some indy filmmakers who HAVE money still can't make a decent film.
6. Tooth and Nail
Completely stupid post-Apocalyptic would-be slasher flick. Civilization as we know it ends when we run out of gasoline. Well okay, I'll buy that. I did in "Mad Max." A band of brave survivors have holed up in a hospital, where they think they're safe. They plan to start a new civilization. Oh, and evidently if there's an Apocalyptic event, you're required to change your name to something ridiculous like "Viper" or "Torino" or "Neon." Not one of the characters is even faintly interesting, or even likable. Then, of course, the cannibals show up. And of course, they dress like extras from "Mad Max." Okay, all right, I was a LITTLE bit excited to see Michael Madsen chop some dude up with an ax. But that wasn't enough to save this godawful, silly-ass movie. The extremely cute Rachel Miner has a major role (ha ha). Her acting hasn't improved since she was in the 2006 Horrorfest turkey "Penny Dreadful." I will admit that the third-from-the-last scene is kind of fun, if you're into girls kicking ass and splattering blood. But it's followed by a completely unnecessary voice-over scene, and then topped off with a pathetic would-be "gotcha." Hey. If you want cannibals, go watch "Ravenous" again. Don't put yourself through "Tooth and Nail."
7. Unearthed
Low-rent Alien ripoff in the desert. Cliched stupid characters do stupid things. Dumb CG alien-thingy kills them. Much CG blood flies around. There's an attempt to create a complex character in the form of the young and attractive alcoholic girl sheriff. It doesn't work. Russel Means is in this movie for about ten minutes. I hope he got paid well.
8. Lake Dead
This one was just painful. Tremendously attractive young people go to an isolated motel one of them has inherited. The "lake" is a big cement pond where the local homicidal mutant weirdos like to throw their victims. AWFUL writing. AWFUL acting. Lots of rape and murder and more rape. There's one good line at the very end of the movie. It is SO not worth watching the thing just to hear it.
I probably won't go to Horrorfest in 2008, if there is one. I'll just wait for the DVDs to come out, and rent them. For one thing, Horrorfest is the most disorganized event I've ever encountered, and I've been going to science fiction conventions since I was 9. For another, I don't feel like paying ten bucks a pop to see a whole lot of absolute crap. The ratio of crap to gold was bad in '06, and even worse in '07. I'm really, REALLY glad I saw Mulberry Street on a big screen. I don't feel that way about any of the other movies.
FURthermore, the only theater showing the movies this year was in Renton. I couldn't get any of my Seattle friends to go there wtih me (nor do I blame them). The movies were sparsely attended--sometimes as few as four people in the theater, counting me. At least the Seattle theater in '06 was packed every night, which made for an entertaining experience even when the movie sucked.
What could save Horrorfest? I think they should condense it down to fewer cities, and make it a weekend-long event like the H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival. Add in some talks and presentations by actors and writers and filmmakers. I'd travel to another state for something like that.
I love Horrorfest in theory. But in practice, it's really kind of lame.