There will most likely be nudity
So in order to replace the vacation that we missed out on, and the Colorado money burning holes in our pockets, Joshua and I started checking out those all-inclusive sit on your butt and have tanned half naked waiters bring you brightly colored drinks poolside, type vacations. You may or may not know that the "land of all that is all-inclusive" is in Cancun, Mexico. Since they had the lowest prices we started our search there, despite the fact that we might have wished to go someplace a little less like an ocean side Las Vegas. The first hotel we found seemed perfect, a couple of miles from Mayan ruins, only 72 rooms, far from the 18 year old party haven that is the rest of the hotel zone. Then I happened upon a long review written by a customer who was raving about the hotel, and I was on the verge of booking it until I read this:
Freedom Paradise is owned by a Mexican company and it was the General Director, Julio Rincon, who noticed that the plus-size market was so unattended so he came up with the idea to target this niche.
That's right, this hotel caters to the morbidly obese, unsurprisingly the German's love it.
She continues...
I weigh well over 300 pounds and was completely relaxed on the beach there, as I have never been anywhere else. Also I have mobility problems due to asthma and arthritis, and very much appreciated that our room was about 30 paces from the dining room...
Do I really want to watch a bunch of relaxed fat people lying on the beach? Hobbling the 30 paces to stuff their faces in the dining room, wheezing and sweating as they go!? Do you think environmentalists ever come along and try to push them back into the water? "Swim! Be free! Go Manatee, go!!!"
Joshua and I decided that as tempting as the hotel sounded otherwise, the idea of watching pasty pale cellulite jiggle free in the warm caribbean sun was a deal breaker, so we looked on.
Everyplace we looked at promised hundreds of wee ones roaming free, which is almost worse than the Manatees. So when we found Blue Bay Getaway, a resort for people 21+ we thought we scored, we thought it would be a more mature type of fun (as in minimal vomit in the lobby, minimal drunken groping in the hot tub) So instead of researching as thoroughly as we did for freedom paradise, we just booked it. Four star hotel, 700 dollars for 6 nights including airfare, it's a really good deal.
After we booked (and DIDN'T buy trip insurance) I kept looking for info and found it. This hotel is apparently full of 21+er's who like to party like 18 year olds. As in drinking games in the pool, sex-y games and a stripper pole in the main bar.
So much for a relaxing/romantic vacation with my significant other.
However toplessness is allowed, which is good for Joshua, I guess. Although I probably won't see his eyes again until we get on the plane home.
Maybe I'll learn some good pole tricks.
Freedom Paradise is owned by a Mexican company and it was the General Director, Julio Rincon, who noticed that the plus-size market was so unattended so he came up with the idea to target this niche.
That's right, this hotel caters to the morbidly obese, unsurprisingly the German's love it.
She continues...
I weigh well over 300 pounds and was completely relaxed on the beach there, as I have never been anywhere else. Also I have mobility problems due to asthma and arthritis, and very much appreciated that our room was about 30 paces from the dining room...
Do I really want to watch a bunch of relaxed fat people lying on the beach? Hobbling the 30 paces to stuff their faces in the dining room, wheezing and sweating as they go!? Do you think environmentalists ever come along and try to push them back into the water? "Swim! Be free! Go Manatee, go!!!"
Joshua and I decided that as tempting as the hotel sounded otherwise, the idea of watching pasty pale cellulite jiggle free in the warm caribbean sun was a deal breaker, so we looked on.
Everyplace we looked at promised hundreds of wee ones roaming free, which is almost worse than the Manatees. So when we found Blue Bay Getaway, a resort for people 21+ we thought we scored, we thought it would be a more mature type of fun (as in minimal vomit in the lobby, minimal drunken groping in the hot tub) So instead of researching as thoroughly as we did for freedom paradise, we just booked it. Four star hotel, 700 dollars for 6 nights including airfare, it's a really good deal.
After we booked (and DIDN'T buy trip insurance) I kept looking for info and found it. This hotel is apparently full of 21+er's who like to party like 18 year olds. As in drinking games in the pool, sex-y games and a stripper pole in the main bar.
So much for a relaxing/romantic vacation with my significant other.
However toplessness is allowed, which is good for Joshua, I guess. Although I probably won't see his eyes again until we get on the plane home.
Maybe I'll learn some good pole tricks.