(no subject)
Do you ever wish you could just take all of your emotions, put them in one person, and the just shoot that person in the face a few hundred times...... That's how I feel.
I had a bad day today, and I don't want to go into why. I had a good day yesterday that turned into a bad night, that rolled over into shitty emotional residue today.
I feel like I want to cry, and I have a few times today. I'm just tired. I'm tird of everyone, including me, and I would just really like a break from being human for a little while.
I want a break from my relationships.... all of them. With my family, myself, my dog, Ryan.
I'm tired of not knowing. Of not being informed, but I think if I'm given one more piece of information I can't do anything about I might just die of natural causes.
I want the shoes to fit. The heels, the work shoes, and every other pair I'm expected to fill.
I'm tired of being so jealous of Ryan, with all his certainty, and patience, and coddling; With his nice family, and cushy home, and good grades, and self disapline, and slimming waist line, and organization. Sometimes I want to be like him so much I hate him for it.
I want to be happy. Happy like I was a few days ago when I felt like nothing was wrong, even though I knew it was; I was just chosing not to think about it. I was so in love and had such a wonderful life and wonderful family and bright future just a few days ago.
Where the fuck did it go, and how the hell can I get it back? Oh yeah, by forgetting everything that doesn't feel good.
Fuck me
Night night.
I had a bad day today, and I don't want to go into why. I had a good day yesterday that turned into a bad night, that rolled over into shitty emotional residue today.
I feel like I want to cry, and I have a few times today. I'm just tired. I'm tird of everyone, including me, and I would just really like a break from being human for a little while.
I want a break from my relationships.... all of them. With my family, myself, my dog, Ryan.
I'm tired of not knowing. Of not being informed, but I think if I'm given one more piece of information I can't do anything about I might just die of natural causes.
I want the shoes to fit. The heels, the work shoes, and every other pair I'm expected to fill.
I'm tired of being so jealous of Ryan, with all his certainty, and patience, and coddling; With his nice family, and cushy home, and good grades, and self disapline, and slimming waist line, and organization. Sometimes I want to be like him so much I hate him for it.
I want to be happy. Happy like I was a few days ago when I felt like nothing was wrong, even though I knew it was; I was just chosing not to think about it. I was so in love and had such a wonderful life and wonderful family and bright future just a few days ago.
Where the fuck did it go, and how the hell can I get it back? Oh yeah, by forgetting everything that doesn't feel good.
Fuck me
Night night.