Interview and CV tips!

[weefz]

Things for office jobs that careers people always advise but you never really believe:
Interview:

1. Think before answering. Take as long as you need. Don't worry about taking too long. If you give a good answer then all will be forgiven. Also the panel will be impressed that you actually appeared to listen instead of spouting off a rubbish answer.(Caveat: This does not apply in telephone interviews. At least not the ones I've had. On the telephone they will constantly interrupt your attempts to think with "Hello, hello. Are you still there?") If you can't think of any relevant experience then sorry, you're not the right person for the job. Pay attention to the questions and then get the relevant skills or experience in some voluntary capacity or something.
2. Don't bullshit. We can smell it a mile off. Even if you're really prepared, if we think you sound fishy we can always call up your boss and find out the truth. But we probably won't bother. We'll just offer the job to someone who seemed honest.
3. Play the game. Prepare answers for the standard questions like "Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?" and "Why do you want to work for us?" We care more about how prepared you are than your answers. Saying something boring like "Managing a small team/large team/the entire franchise in Europe" will not count against you. At least not as much as "I haven't really thought about it" or something vague like "It depends on what you offer". Even "I'm looking for more money" is acceptable but should probably be balanced with "and more responsibility." We're all in it for the money and at least you're honest.
4. Dress up. Guys, wear a suit and tie that fits well. Girls, wear a little make-up and some equivalent of a suit. Everyone else will be doing it and if you're not then you don't look individual, you look shabby. Good clothing won't get you the job but it could well be the thing that loses it for you. This tip is really for corporate and admin jobs - I have no experience with other places. I hear that fashion and arts really like individuality.
5. Be nice to the person who meets-and-greets you. The interview panel will probably ask them about you, even if they weren't planning on doing so. It can be a tie-breaker. If you get the chance, pump the meet-and-greet person nicely for information so you can look informed and find out if the company is as rosy as it seems. Mentioning things you get from the meet-and-greeter will also separate you from the other candidates.

CV:

1. Don't write all in caps. Ever. You will be instantly binned. Capital lettered paragraphs are a bugger to read. Before looking through 180 applications I wouldn't have thought this worth mentioning but apparently some people think an entire application in capital letters is acceptable. It really isn't.
2. Type it up. A handwritten application can only be forgiven if you have exceptional handwriting and skills.
3. Follow the job ad or skills description. They are a blueprint for who will be interviewed. At CV stage all we're looking for is literacy and relevant skills. If you have the skills, say so clearly and provide an example. If you have extra skills, put them after the listed ones. I don't want to read through pages of your interior decorating experience to find out if you can use a computer. Use the words from the ad to make it easier for us to find the relevant sections. If it says "MS Word and Excel experience" say "I use Microsoft Office including Word and Excel on a daily basis". Don't just say "Microsoft Office". If it says "enthusiastic" then say you're enthusiastic about working for . Keep it scannable and if it's an electronic application I should be able to find everything on the checklist by using CTRL-F.
4. Follow instructions. If you're asked to fill in an application form then do it. Don't write a whiny email saying "Please don't make me fill in an application form. I'm attaching my CV." You are not special. You are a wanker who thinks the rules don't apply to you. Go set up your own company instead of making trouble at mine. If I get emails like this I will note down the person's name so that if they fill in the application form later I can reject them on the spot but hey, I'm nasty like that.
5. Replicate information between the CV and covering letter. They can get separated and if it's in there it's essential information, right? Can't afford to lose it.
6. Don't replicate information within the CV itself. I saw it the first time.
7. Re: Enthusiasm. Don't say things like "It's my dream to work for your company". Even if you can prove it, it's kinda disturbing. Dreaming about working in the general field of e.g., healthcare is okay. Barely.
8. Don't bullshit about your skills. We know what we need and there will be technical questions at the interview. If you claim you can do something but fail, you're incompetent. If you really just don't know, you're inexperienced. We can fix the latter.
9. You can try to embellish your experience. Since all we have is a piece of paper, we take it pretty much at face value but you'd better be a damn good liar if you want to make it through the interview. It helps if you're consistent as well. Don't say one thing in an application form, something else in the attached CV and yet another thing in the interview. We will notice.
10. Tell us why you did strange things. If there's a 6-month gap in your job history we will notice. Just a simple sentence explaining things is enough. If there isn't one, we will assume you're hiding something really bad. If it was something bad, find a nice way of saying it - e.g. "I spent 6 months in drug rehab" becomes "I spent some time in convalescence after a serious illness". I don't know how this would work in the US but you can get away with it in the UK. Speaking of which, over here in interviews they always ask how many days you were off sick in the past 2 years. If it's more than 7 days then explain what you had or we will assume you take hangover days or pretend to be sick while skipping work.

I can only tell you how not to fuck it up. The rest of it comes down to relevant skills and experience and the sad fact is that while you may have the perfect skills for the job, someone else may have a little bit more experience. Just gotta keep trying.

Edit 14/6/06: Interview tips are now in order of importance.