Bret gets hungry...
Prompt 219 - Headlines
Bret borrowed the paper from Dave and read it as he drank his mid-morning tea outside of Dave’s pawnshop. He just spread the paper open when a large picture of an animal being killed glared back at him, with a headline going on about the inhumane way that they slaughter animals for meat.
Surprised, Bret threw the paper away from himself, with it ending up hitting Jemaine in the face, much to his friend’s annoyance. But Bret couldn’t be bothered with that right now; he was too preoccupied with the image that was now burned into his brain.
He placed his tea down firmly on the table and stared across at Jemaine. “I’m not eating meat any more.”
Completely taken by surprise by the abrupt statement, Jemaine blinked at his friend and band mate. “What?”
Bret sat back in his chair and crossed his arms, as though showing that he would not take back his declaration. “I’m going to be a vegetarian.”
Jemaine frowned. “That means you can’t eat duck.”
Bret blinked. He hadn’t thought of that… “Yeah… Well… Duck’s have feelings, too. I’m sure they don’t like being eaten.”
“That didn’t make any sense, Bret. They don’t know they’re being eaten.”
“Yeah… Well… I’m pretty sure they don’t want to be eaten!”
And Bret promptly ignored anything else Jemaine had to say against his reasoning.
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Throughout the day, it dawned on Bret that both he and Jemaine consumed a lot of meat. More than he had thought they did. As he was sitting at a table, in a restaurant or at home, he ate his salad and watched while Jemaine wolfed down a hamburger or something else that was equally meaty and yummy… There were times when Bret caught himself reaching across the table for one of Jemaine’s chicken strips.
He hadn’t realized how hard ‘going veg’ was going to be. Everywhere he turned there was someone eating meat, be it a hot dog or a hamburger or a taco, and he found it increasingly hard not to run over to them and take their food.
It got so bad that he told Jemaine very suddenly that he was heading home and proceeded to do just that, not waiting to see if his friend would follow him.
When he got home, he turned on the TV and started watching cartoons, to try and take his mind off the fact that he would really like some chicken tenders, or a hot dog. An hour later, just when he thought that he was safe, Jemaine came home, sat on the couch, took the remote and changed the channel to the Food Network.
Bret stared at the screen. They were making kebabs… “Hey! I was watching…” He didn’t take his eyes away from the TV.
Jemaine shrugged. “They’re doing a special on kebabs and I want to watch. You can watch your stupid cartoons any time.”
Unable to come up with anything else to say, Bret continued to watch as the chefs slowly cooked the chicken and the beef and the pork… Getting the pieces to perfection before skewering them onto the kebab sticks with all the roasted vegetables… He stood suddenly, stepping out of his box and snatching the remote from Jemaine, turning the TV off.
“Come on, Jemaine.”
Jemaine frowned. He had been watching that. “What? I want to watch the kebab special!”
“We’re going out to get real kebabs.”
Bret McKenzie//Flight of the Conchords//570
Jemaine (
mutha_flippin) used with permission from the mun.
Bret borrowed the paper from Dave and read it as he drank his mid-morning tea outside of Dave’s pawnshop. He just spread the paper open when a large picture of an animal being killed glared back at him, with a headline going on about the inhumane way that they slaughter animals for meat.
Surprised, Bret threw the paper away from himself, with it ending up hitting Jemaine in the face, much to his friend’s annoyance. But Bret couldn’t be bothered with that right now; he was too preoccupied with the image that was now burned into his brain.
He placed his tea down firmly on the table and stared across at Jemaine. “I’m not eating meat any more.”
Completely taken by surprise by the abrupt statement, Jemaine blinked at his friend and band mate. “What?”
Bret sat back in his chair and crossed his arms, as though showing that he would not take back his declaration. “I’m going to be a vegetarian.”
Jemaine frowned. “That means you can’t eat duck.”
Bret blinked. He hadn’t thought of that… “Yeah… Well… Duck’s have feelings, too. I’m sure they don’t like being eaten.”
“That didn’t make any sense, Bret. They don’t know they’re being eaten.”
“Yeah… Well… I’m pretty sure they don’t want to be eaten!”
And Bret promptly ignored anything else Jemaine had to say against his reasoning.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Throughout the day, it dawned on Bret that both he and Jemaine consumed a lot of meat. More than he had thought they did. As he was sitting at a table, in a restaurant or at home, he ate his salad and watched while Jemaine wolfed down a hamburger or something else that was equally meaty and yummy… There were times when Bret caught himself reaching across the table for one of Jemaine’s chicken strips.
He hadn’t realized how hard ‘going veg’ was going to be. Everywhere he turned there was someone eating meat, be it a hot dog or a hamburger or a taco, and he found it increasingly hard not to run over to them and take their food.
It got so bad that he told Jemaine very suddenly that he was heading home and proceeded to do just that, not waiting to see if his friend would follow him.
When he got home, he turned on the TV and started watching cartoons, to try and take his mind off the fact that he would really like some chicken tenders, or a hot dog. An hour later, just when he thought that he was safe, Jemaine came home, sat on the couch, took the remote and changed the channel to the Food Network.
Bret stared at the screen. They were making kebabs… “Hey! I was watching…” He didn’t take his eyes away from the TV.
Jemaine shrugged. “They’re doing a special on kebabs and I want to watch. You can watch your stupid cartoons any time.”
Unable to come up with anything else to say, Bret continued to watch as the chefs slowly cooked the chicken and the beef and the pork… Getting the pieces to perfection before skewering them onto the kebab sticks with all the roasted vegetables… He stood suddenly, stepping out of his box and snatching the remote from Jemaine, turning the TV off.
“Come on, Jemaine.”
Jemaine frowned. He had been watching that. “What? I want to watch the kebab special!”
“We’re going out to get real kebabs.”
Bret McKenzie//Flight of the Conchords//570
Jemaine (
mutha_flippin) used with permission from the mun.