Chapter 1

[wee_big_man]

[Anyone who happens to be wandering by the doghouse at 1667 Nelson Street might hear a small voice from inside said doghouse.Ach, crivens! Will ye no' look at this? Someone's gone an' given me a bath, lads

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[eldest_hatter]

[Sophie is sure she heard someone...but doesn't see anyone just yet.]

Hello? Is someone there?

[wee_big_man]

[There's a sudden silence, which is not silence so much as it is the sound of someone trying very hard not to make any noise at all.]

[eldest_hatter]

[She's looking around intently, quite sure whoever made the sound was still there.]

Hello? There's no need to hide. It isn't some of Arthur's fairy friends, is it?

[wee_big_man]

[Yet more silence. And Rob is creeping for the door, very very carefully, carrying a large spoon. If Sophie's quick, she might spot him.]

[eldest_hatter]

[She's quick enough.]

Ah! There you are!

[wee_big_man]

[Rob freezes, and gives her a worried grin. Time to think fast.]

Aye, aye, ye see, I'm a tinkly little fairy from, uh, from yon Arthur ye mentioned, mistress, an' I'm just bringin' ye this spoon for, uh, for good luck, right.

[He gives the spoon a little polish with the hem of his kilt.]

[eldest_hatter]

[She slowly comes closer, studying him.]

You don't look like any of the fairies I've seen.

[wee_big_man]

Well, ye ken how there's fairies for the pretty tinkly flowers, aye? Daisies and such, ye ken. I'm the spiky ragweed fairy.

[He sets the spoon down, giving it a little pat.]

[eldest_hatter]

[Suspicious look is suspicious.]

I see...Do you think you could tell me something. I seem to be forgetting Arthur's other name. I'm sure you would know though. Since you're such good friends.

[wee_big_man]

[Oh, that's the Pursin' o' the Lips, for sure. This bigjob must be a hag, and it's never a good idea to cross a hag.]

Ah, ah, well noo... That may have been a itty bitty wee little lie.

[eldest_hatter]

Mhm. That's what I thought.

Who are you then?

[wee_big_man]

You promise tae no' use my name against me, f'r instance, on legal documents? Nae affy-day-vits or summonses or sichlike?

[eldest_hatter]

Ah...no. Certainly not.

That is, ah, yes. I promise.

[wee_big_man]

[He nods. A hag's word is good enough for him.]

Rob Anybody, mistress.

[eldest_hatter]

And my name is Sophie Jenkins. It's nice to meet you Mr. Anybody.

That name does sound familiar...

[wee_big_man]

[Uh-oh. If she's heard his name before...]

It wasnae me, mistress! I wuz oout o' the country at the time! It's a case o' mistaken identity!